Actual Police remarks

[RacerX]

This was sent by a friend of mine and wanted to share the humor!

 

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police

car videos around the country:

 

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

 

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

 

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

 

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

 

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

 

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

 

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

 

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

 

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

 

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, a fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

 

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

 

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

 

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

 

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

 

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

 

AND THE WINNER IS....

 

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

[WickedWild]

The best one I've ben asked... "Do you have a F***ing death wish?"

From a female state trooper.

[johnc]

The last one I got: "Hi John..."

[Dragonfly]

The others are pretty entertaining but this

"Hi John..."

is personal... and pretty funny, since it is you and not me.

 

Dragonfly

[Pop N Wood]

I had a buddy in a 5.0 get pulled over by a cop in a 5.0

 

The first thing the cop said to him was "These cars are fast, aren't they?"

[MOTORHEAD427]

This very young rookie motorcycle cop pulled me over once.

First thing he said was:

"Hello, I`m with the Los angeles Police Department"

And I said:

"I know"...

 

I think that was his first ticket... :P

 

ERIC