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Drugs for Women - Humor


Trevor

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NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN:

 

D A M M I T O L > > Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

 

St. M O M'S W O R T > > Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

 

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N > > Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

 

P E P T O B I M B O > > Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups, swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting skills.

 

D U M E R O L > > When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of Country Western music.

 

F L I P I T O R > > Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

 

M E N I C I L L I N > > Potent antibiotic for women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person and, can we get naked now?"

 

B U Y A G R A > > Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

 

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-ALL. > > When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr.Laura.

 

J A C K A S S P I R I N > > Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

 

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T > > A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

 

S E X C E D R I N > > More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

 

R A G A M E T > > When administered to a husband or boyfriend, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the woman the time and trouble of doing it herself.

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