Here's yer sign

[auxilary]

i go to the grocery store. i get some food, and while walking by the drug isle, i see the blood pressure machine. i go, hey why not. sit down, strap my arm in, hit the start button. As the thingy's inflating, I feel someone standing behind me. I turn my head, this old asian dude is smiling 3 feet from me. I turn back, and I feel his presence again. I turn my head, he's now leaning in to look at my readings. WTF?

 

I turn to him and go "do you mind?" He just smiles at me, and shuffles forward. I turn around again, and say "excuse me, do you mind giving me some privacy?" He continues smiling and nodding. This guy is now invading my personal space. I hit the stop button, get up, look down on him, and say "Listen. When someone says "do you mind?" it means that you're bothering them."

 

More smiling and nodding. Me: "NO. it's bad. it means you're pissing me off." and walked away all flustered.

 

Continue to get more food, proceed to checkout line. My food consists mainly of cheese, fresh bread, veggies, salad and fruit, butter, milk, basically all healthy stuff. closest I had to junkfood was a can of clam chowder. I shop at a place equivalent to pak'n'save cuz it's cheaper. I am bagging my food, and this fat woman standing next to me looks all over my food and goes "Oh, are you trying to eat healthy?" in this cheery voice.

 

I'm astounded by the sheer stupidity of this question. I think back to that skit from Blue Collar Comedy tour, and I look at her, and go "yeap. Here's your sign."

 

She didn't get it.