Bathroom humour - literally

[Tim240z]

From another forum....had me in stitches, so I figured that you guys would enjoy it too!

 

One of them brought up the point of hygenics in the female bathroom. Now I will say from experience that female bathrooms are just plain NASTY.

 

Wait a sec Num before you cut in with what's already forming in that quick little head of yours. Let me explain how I know this. I've worked retail in the past during my undergrad days. After closing and on occasion during operating hours the bathrooms have to get cleaned. Nobody likes to do it but for smaller businesses it's not cost productive to hire an outside janitorial firm. I will say without exception that no matter how rank and disgusting the men's bathroom is, the women's side is 3x worse. All that crap about how men are pigs and women are clean is bunk. Them *****es is nasteee.

 

About a month and a half ago I had to go really bad while in public. I was in a supermarket and there was only one stall. I mean I had to go something fierce. I rushed to the restroom wincing in pain. Of course as karma has it there was an 807 year old man with a walker who was just barely ahead of me. I started to wait but he was moving like an amputated sloth. So I said **** It. I opened up the woman's bathroom which was five feet away from the men's and checked to make sure the coast was clear. I gave a verbal warning then entered.

 

Oh my F'ing goodness was it a mess. But I couldn't stop and gawk as I had other business to attend to. So of course while I'm sitting in one of the stalls in rumbles this wildebeast of a woman. I could tell from her ankles and the seismic movement of the toilets she was a biggun. She takes the stall next to me. And she started unleashing fury the likes of which would have scared Satan. Now I find these kind of crude situations humorous. I started giggling because I couldn't help myself. And everytime I giggled I could hear her mumble something under her breath. There I sat giggling and holding my nose to the point of crying. And I kept waiting and waiting for her to leave. She finally left the stall but oh my god what the hell was she doing in front of the mirror. My friend was waiting for me in another part of the store and I wanted to exit. But I couldn't just pop out of the stall. With my luck I'd have been arrested for lewd behavior etc.

 

So I sat, and sat, and sat while this cow talked to herself, ran the water, ran back to the stall, blew her nose, ran the water again over and over and over. It literally took almost twenty minutes before she left and I could exit. And she was *****ing and moaning the whole time about something her husband or bf or someone had just said to her. When I finally had the chance to escape I made a sprint for it back to the men's side to wash my hands. My eyes were all puffy and red. I think from the laughing but it could have been from the acidic offgassing of the wildebeast manure.

 

Anyway, I'll just tell you guys firsthand that women are ****ing beyond pigs in the bathroom. They leave bathroom matter on the seats(both type..ewww. My ex told me women hover and don't sit so they often miss the bowl...yuk). Toilet paper all ****ing over the place. I mean it's everywhere like someone deliberately TP'd the room. They let the water soak and drench the entire sink and floor areas. The garbage is full of anything and everything capable of causing a major ebola epidemic. They don't flush and don't clean up their own mess. I've seen more hygene in a Tijuana cantina on a free beer friday night than I have in the average woman's bathroom.

 

All I can say is dirty socks on the floor are no comparison.

[Guest subdermal]

I own a bar - every night I see evidence that supports this 100%. The guy's can will have the occasional empty, maybe some TP on the floor. The girls is soaked, TP everywhere, and erm 'hygiene' products too. Plus we get more graffitti in the ladies room too, which was a total surprise to me.