Alaskan Christmas Party

[COZY Z COLE]

Alaskan Christmas Party

 

 

 

 

 

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

 

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

 

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens It and sees a huge, bearded man standing there.

 

"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road ...Having a Christmas party Friday night...Thought you might like to come. About 5:00 PM."

 

"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

 

As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."

 

"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

 

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

 

"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there Thanks again."

 

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too." "Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea "I've been all alone for six months!

 

I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

 

"Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."

 

LARRY

[auxilary]

On a cold morning, 2 police officers knock on Johnson's door.

 

"Mr. Johnson, we have some bad news, good news, and really good news"

 

"what's teh bad news?" Johnson asks

 

"well, your wife's truck went off the embankment and into the ocean, she didn't survive..."

 

"that's horrible! HOw... why... what's the good news?"

 

"well, sir, when we pulled her out, she had 4 king crabs and several lobsters on her"

 

puzzled and dumbfounded, Johnson looks at the officers in disbelief... "I'm afraid to ask, what's the really good news?"

 

"well sir, tomorrow we're pulling her out again!"