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What's with the Mars probes?


silicone boy

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This forum has become the home of the ridiculous. That's why I'm posting this here.

 

My little girls (6 and 9) asked me why so many of the Mars probes have malfunctioned. I heard a theory on the radio that made sense to me. Just before Christmas, the European Space Agency's probe, the Beagle 2 disappeared (supposedly). Then NASA's Spirit landed and malfunctioned after a couple of days. Some people think that the Beagle really didn't malfunction. The Limeys only said it was lost. The Beagle made it's way over to the Spirit landing site and beat the crap out of the Spirit, like in Robot Wars. Now, I don't hold much stock in this theory because I happen to have a pet beagle and she couldn't hurt a fly. She would be more likely to play with a stranger rather than harm him.

 

Personally, I'm more of a biologist than an engineer, so I think it has to do with some sort of alien life form. I'll bet if you see the secret NASA videos, you would see giant large breasted women right before they destroyed the Spirit. NASA will never let this secret out, cause it would cause widespread panic if the public knew that we could be invaded at any moment by Amazon sized large breasted women. They would start infiltrating our society by appearing in Victoria's Secret catalogs and eventually replace our women until they all looked like lingerie models. OH, shudder the thought. :x

 

What do you engineering types have to say?

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...widespread panic if the public knew that we could be invaded at any moment by Amazon sized large breasted women. They would start infiltrating our society by appearing in Victoria's Secret catalogs and eventually replace our women until they all looked like lingerie models. OH, shudder the thought. :x

 

Well, if they are cute, then I'm all for interplanetary fornication. I welcome these big breasted [gulp] Amazon women and all that they come to bring us, be it a new language or just giant breasts. Maybe they will understand the human male mating call, "Hey baby" .

 

!M!

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Quato and his rebels are steeling them so they can build a super robot to activate the reactor!

 

Do you mean Cuato from Total Recall? There was a big stink at the oscars that year because he didn't win best supporting actor. :D

 

 

Over 30 missions from us and the Russians have failed so far.

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Well, on the serious side, Mars is one harsh mistress! Just talk to any of our finest solders that drove through the desert to take Bagdad this past year about the sand and what it does to every piece of machinery. I imagine some of the dust storms that kick up would be like a commercial sized sand blaster! then you get to deal with radiation, heat, cold and oops watch out for that ravine we missed on our super duper telescope pics.

 

Now if it is those extra large breasted amazon alien women, then I will volunteer to be the ambasador for earth! :lol:

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NASA: Not About Space Anymore. I think we'd have better luck if cobbled together a rocket made from old discarded datsun parts and sent it up. Imagine the commotion in Mission Control as a V8 datsun zooms across the landscape in front of the broken rovers camera.....

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I'm sure that there's enough engineering talent here to get something together. I volunteer my car since it should do better in the thin Martian atmosphere with the Fuel injection and turbos. I'll volunteer to go myself and make initial contact with the alien women, since I have a lot of experience in handling big breasted women :-D

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Here are the offical top ten Explanations:

 

1. Martians found the probes and stripped them for parts.

 

2. Drove under a tree for a quick picnic, and the solar panels couldn't get

enough light to operate.

 

3. Didn't use Duracell Batteries.

 

4 Landed near an Iraqi WMD sight, and will never be found.

 

5. They are with Dick Cheney in a secure undisclosed sight.

 

6. Visas weren't in order, and the Martians have locked them up pending

an imigration hearing.

 

7. Budget cuts necesitated using Windows 3.1

 

8. Should have never hired Homer Simpson as project manager.

 

9. Guidence system programed off shore to save money for "tax cut"

 

10. Kidnapped by Venusians, forced to become sex slaves to the robot

on Future World.

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