Scottie-GNZ Posted April 30, 2002 Share Posted April 30, 2002 How to Shower How to Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note must do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off). 11. Shave armpits & legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure. 13. Turn off the shower. 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown & towel on head. 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How to Shower Like A Man: 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo woo sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror & suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off. 9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding areas. 11. Wash your butt leaving those coarse butt hairs on soap bar. 12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). 13. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again. 15. Pee in the shower. 16. Rinse off & get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. 17. Partially dry off. 18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again. 19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 20. Leave bathroom fan and light on. 21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the woo woo sound again. 22. Throw wet towel on the bed. GUILTY AS CHARGED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denny411 Posted April 30, 2002 Share Posted April 30, 2002 LOL That about sums it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Purple240zt Posted May 1, 2002 Share Posted May 1, 2002 All i gotta say to that is "Shake Shake Shake!" heh good one - Evan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZROSSA Posted May 1, 2002 Share Posted May 1, 2002 What have you been doing in my shower scottie? Douglas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted May 1, 2002 Share Posted May 1, 2002 Haha! Right down to the Tee! -980mak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted May 1, 2002 Share Posted May 1, 2002 it sucks now that i'm in the military i have to keep my hair so short i can't even make a decent shampoo mohawk anymore but LOL that does sound about right LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumo Posted May 1, 2002 Share Posted May 1, 2002 Gee i thought we peed first while washing your face then made the shampoo mohawk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad-ManQ45 Posted May 1, 2002 Share Posted May 1, 2002 SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO CLOSE! I do my best to make a sound like a horse but my wife SWEARS it sounds like a JackAss! Brad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest zfan Posted May 2, 2002 Share Posted May 2, 2002 LMAO!! So true! Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavyZ Posted May 2, 2002 Share Posted May 2, 2002 ROTFL!! That hits tooooo close to home, heh heh. Very funny. Davy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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