this is funny

[stony]

this is not my story just one i found on a thread for a thread ect.

 

NOT!!!!!!

Well the weather held out long enough for us to make a pass saturday night. After a fun filled day of house work I spend the early evening prepping the SS for a run. About 11pm I got with a friend of mine and we went down to Texaco to meet up with the kid and the VR6. my buddy had his old school camcorder (the big old VCR type ones that look like a news crew camera). Upon arrival at the texaco we noticed about 15 cars sitting in the lot in various stages of primer body kits, wings the space shuttle would be proud of, and stickers covering most of them. I park the car and walk over to the kid with the VR6, that must have been in full race mode, stunna pants included.

ME: Are you ready to do this? I want to get it over with before this group of idots attracts to much attention.

HIM: I want to see under your hood.

ME: You called me out and now youre asking to see under MY hood! Not a chance. Besides its just an LS1.

HIM: Those tires arent the same ones you had on it when I saw it the other day.

ME: Yea I got a flat on my other set (refering to my street tires), These taller ones slow down a bit out of the hole(thats when ellis walked off because he was laughing), Do you really think you can beat me?

HIM: UH YEAH! its just a piece of crap camaro? Are you gonna make this an "interesting" race?

ME: Youve raced to many V-6's havent you. Pulling 1500.00 out of my pocket "can you back this?"

HIM: WHAT THE **** IS THAT?

ME: 15 hundred dollar bills, I take it you dant have that kind of money.

HIM: I'll do 500.00

ME: Sold! Lets go.

 

We head to our cars and start out for the monroe stretch. There were to many cars on the road in our area. On the way there Ellis was talking to me "Is this kid serious?" "I guess so" "you gonna **** with him" "of course". When we reached the stretch where we going to run we get out and meet again. I told him to tell all of his little"G" buddy's to turn thier frekin music off before the locals call the cops. I told him "Remember the idea is NOT to have the cops show up"

HIM: thats ok I'll be long gone by the time they get here. They will be to busy writing you a ticket for being to slow.

ME: Is that right. Well lets make this real interesting. You win I give you 1500.00, I win you give me you 500.00 AND I get to take that pretty little girl home for my wife and I to play with for the evening.

*NOTE*: My wife would file for divorce in a heartbeat if she even heard me talking like this, but I was just having fun with the guy.

HIM: ARE YOU WHACK OUT OF YOUR SKULL? (something to that effect)

 

NOW GET THIS!!!!

HER: go ahead baby you can beat him. Take it. (she must have had some lesbo fantasies or something)

My jaw about it the ground when she said that

ME: OK She rides with me during the pass that way there is no backing out of it.

HIM: no deal

ME:fine no race

HIM: shaking his head, get in his car girl!

*NOTE: She couldnt have been but 19 or so and was a damn fine specimen of the female species

Ellis as usuall rode down to the end of the pass and held the cash with of of the VR6's friends. On the way over to the guys car I heard him say "Man his girl is going to think she has been re-sleeved when Boyce and his wife are done with her" ellis cracks me up, he loves to **** with people.

 

LET THE FUN BEGIN!

 

I get in the car and tell the girl to buckle up.

HER: Youre going to get your ass stomped by chriss VW. He just put his cat back system on it and it hauls ass.

ME: SUURE honey, what ever you say. You flexable? I hope so. Speaking of ass....(I left it at that just to make her think)

I reach inder my console and opened my cutout so I would be on open pipes. Turn they accy. power on only just so everyone around would hear the T-REX fuel pump charging the lines. It drew immediate attention from anyone the heard it.

HER: what was that?

ME: Biggest fuel pump youve ever seen

thats when I turned the key to feed the beast. It came to life with a roar and about make the girl **** in her pants. the kid in the VR6 looked over immediatly and just stared. I rolled down my widnow and made a circle with my thumb and forefinger with one hand and started pushing my index finger through the circle. I think he knew what was coming.

 

I pulled out on to the street next to him, hit the line lock and proceeded to heat the tires up. It must have been the valley we were in because the SS sounded like the worst thunder storm you ever heard. I could see a couple people on the side of the road hold thier hands over thier ears and the poor girl looked white as a ghost. When I let go of the button the car slowly started to move forward and I relesed the throttle. The tires grabbed and jerked forward snapping the girls head back in the seat (I find out later that her name was Amy). I backed the car up and you could hear it loping through the pipes. Amy was almost expresionless, I think she was begining to picture herself as a chinese finger cuff, or an AMY samich. Thats when I hit the purge, Amy let out a little scream. She definatly didnt see that one coming! I swear you could have heard a pin drop outside when I purged. It was like time slowed down and everything was blurred, people outside the car staring in awe, shaking thier heads pointing at homey in the VR6 and making slapping motions with thier hands.

 

I pulled up to the line and waited for homeslice to pull up. He sat back about 3 car lengths and did nothing. So I rolled my window down and yelled " get up here and take your medicine mother fucker". He reved a couple of times and pulled up. Thats when Amy said "I dont think I want to ride with you" "to late now sugar, were about to get waved". the starter lined us up, gave us the thumbs up, lifted his arms, look at us one more time and dropped them.

 

I just sat there for a second. I let the VR6 get about 3 lengths on me. Amy looked over at me with a WTF look on her face. I brought the revs up to 3500 and sidestepped the clutch. WHAM! Amy was slammed back in her seat like someone had thrown a wrecking ball at her. I didnt stall to the full 4500 because I wasnt sure how I would hook. Just so you know, yea..... it was a nitrous launch. I pulled second and the front end got real light, and could tell I was going suck the doors off the VW when I went by it. I was making up ground on this guy so fast it really looked like he wasnt even moving. Poor Amy looked like she had already soiled her skivveys. Shift light comes on again, 3rd gear. As soon as I pulled it and stomped on it again I blasted past the VW. All Amy could do was say "HOLY **** WE'RE MOVING". I passed him fast enough that it suprised him. I could tell he wasnt expecting me to catch him that fast because I could see him swerve after I went by him. I think I might have pulled a layer of paint off of his car when I went by him. I hammered 4th and didnt let out of the throttle, Revs were starting to push the 5K area and climbing. All I know is I had an ocean of distance on the kid already. We blew buy Ellis and the other guy and shut down. I made sure I blocked both lanes when I stopped so he couldnt get by. I must have been sitting there for a while because I had enough time to turn on my fans, close the bottle (NX switch, not getting out and shutting it) and put in a dip. Amy still sat there with a blank look on her face.

 

Well homie finally showed up and got out of his car. Ellis walked over with the other friend and ellis have the guy his 500.00 and said "you talked the **** , now give him the cash"

ME: Damn I thought that thing was fast and furious or something, BLING BLING!

HIM: **** you

ME: Actually thats what she going to be doing in about an hour or so.

HIM: What if I dont give you the cash

ME: Ellis and I tap dance on your head till you do

HIM: **** you I aint givin it up

ME: That would not be the wisest decision you ever made.

HIM: **** you

ME: You dont want me to make Ellis take the money back. I dont think your 100 pound friend is going to make a difference for you, GIVE ME THE MONEY BITCH!

 

After some convincing he finally gave the cash up. HE waved at Amy to get out of the car, she looked at him and said "no thanks, I am staying here".

 

ME: Looks like you lost twice tonight my friend.

HIM: **** YOU!

ME: Wow youve made it past the third grade, you seem to have a 2 word vocabulary.

 

He just turned around, got in his car with his stunna friend and drove off calling Amy a bitch.

 

Ellis and I walked over to the car and hoped in. Thats when Amy introduced herself. Then began telling me how much ofa looser the guy was and she was only with him for transportation. We started to head home and made some small talk about the SS. After a while Ellis looks at her and says "so you dont mind having another chick go down on you". that took her a bit by suprise. She said "You were serious about taking me back to youre wife?!" "Thats what the bet was for" (I was far from serious but needed to teach this little girl a lesson).

HER:"Well I am sure not going to let that happen"

ME: "yes...yes you are"

HER: "I dont do chicks"

ME:"shouldnt have made the bet"

I finally told her that I had no intentions of doing that when she started looking a bit scared. I also told her dont ever write checks with you mouth that your ass cant cash (literally). I basically made her feel like **** for a while and told her that she wasnt the smartest person in the world because there are alot of people out there that would have forced her to make good on her end of the deal.

 

We dropped her off at the texaco and told her how lucky she was for having to take some meat in the pail.

 

Ellis and I headed to the house laughing and talking about how stupid people are now days and watch the replay on of the video. The video turned out like ass, you can barely make out anything except headlights then me bombing past another set of headlights and a buch of engine noise. We will have to convert the tape over to digital to get it on the computer. Once I do I will have someone host it so I can post it.

 

cliff notes: Kid in a VR6 talked a ton of **** , gets his ass handed to him

Not all conversation is word for word, its the best I could remember it. Also many details were left out about making her pay up on her end for obvious sensorship resons that would more than likely cause this thread to be locked.

 

_______

 

99 SS Camaro

As long as I got my mullet I am a happy piece of white trash. Now where did I put my GPC mentol 100's?

 

[Guest Anonymous]

yeah.....BLKMGK just posted that a couple days ago..

pretty cool though.