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Having a $$$ issue with a friend.. not sure what to do...(sorry, long)


datsunlover

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It sounds like you've basically resolved things but here is something to think about that no else has mentioned.

The tires were not sold to him but to his new GF so she's the one you need to be after for the money.

Just from the the comments about how he's been acting since hooking up with her it sounds like she's going to be a negative influenece in his life, at least until he kicks her to the curb. Be patient, if it's not to late, when he wakes up to what a HO she is maybe he'll realize how he did you wrong and make it right. In the mean time I'd keep a discreet distance and if he comes looking for the stand, then mention it was a trade for those tires unless he coughs up the $125.00 his GF owes you.

 

Wheelman

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Well, I actually thought about this, and I think the way it went down, she's not really on the hook... cause before the car was actually done, it was in his name, and the deal was HE would buy the tires from my girlfriend, and that was that. Hell.. while working on the thing, he still didn't know if this girl was even going to pay him for it! There was talk of just fliping it if she 'defaulted' on paying for it, cause it was/is a certifiable/emisions tested car... Basicaly, as far as she's concerned, she bought the car from my 'buddy' (and I use that term loosely..) with no 'strings' attached... But who knows what (if anything) he told her about this whole thing..

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Well well well.. Shortly after my last post, my phone rings! This guy starts in with a song and dance about how his girl's broke (cause she quit her job) and won't have ANY money for at least 4 weeks till unemployment ins. comes in, she has no TV/furtature/ect cause it was all 'rent to own' and she brought it back as she can't afford it, and she's moving to her mothers for a while. Of course (I new this was coming) when/if she gets her old car towed away for scrap, any $$$ she gets will be spent almost the same instant, bla bla bla.

 

Here's where it gets interesting; I guess the car only really needed TWO tires, so there are two (which are practicaly NEW) still sitting in his shop. They were stufed behind his truck the last two months, so I just assumed they were on the car. He then tells me "Yah, so what I'll do is give your girlfriend $60 next week when I get paid ( :roll: heard that one before) and we can throw the other two in the for sale paper for $100 or something."

 

:shock:

 

After I re-informed him that I have ALREADY given my girl her money back, and he owes ME now, (you forgetfull drunken putz..) the kicker struck me.. While still owing another $60, he's saying 'we' can put them in the paper and sell them for MORE than that...which they ARE worth, BUT: Thats NOT HIS PROFIT TO MAKE!!!!! :mad: (nor is it mine!) I restrained myself from loosing it on him for suggesting this corse of action, and proceded to make up a story about my girlfriends friend needing a couple of tires that size for her car, so I'd just come over and pick them up. When I showed up, the tires were by the door, but I got the feeling he REALLY didn't want me to take them.. but I think he realized that this was 'checkmate' for him and really, what could he say!?! Makes me wonder how many other dealings have gone this way with him..

 

I don't care how much or little money you're talking about... I have a HUGE problem with 'friends' who think it's acceptable to get a good deal from a friend, and on top of screwing them around, try to make a buck off it!!

 

Oh well... life lesson learned, and it only cost me a few bucks. :)

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LAST TIME: Like you said: " Wisdom is knowing what to overlook"

 

FORGET IT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. YOU WILL HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS LATER IN LIFE TO REALLY GET EXCITED ABOUT. LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER'S FIRST PERIOD OR FIRST DATE!!!!!

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money, car parts or what ever it is that you are going to loan to a friend, co worker, stranger,

 

take a look, hesitate and think. is it something that i am going to need in the near future, will it harm a family member or other friend and, will it make a difference in my life 5 years from now ?

 

if the answer to those questions is NO, now consider that you are NEVER going to get that item or money back. will it bother you to loan the item or money ?

 

if so, don't do it.

 

largest amount of money i loaned a friend was 3200. co worker and good friend. paid me back over 3 months ( wife screwed him, wasn't making house payment. she was building nest egg, walked out on him, sued him for divorce ).

 

when i loaned him the money, hoped i would get it back. he and kids were gonna lose their home. took me 3 yrs to save that money ( single dad since 95, have full custody of only child, son. just turned 18. 2900 take home. 2200 note on house ). he needed it, i weighed the questions above, gave him the money.

 

if he had not paid me back, we'd still be friends. i didn't bleed for him, no one was injured, and i had already figured that he was not going to be able to pay me back.

 

when you loan someone money, do it with the thought that they are NEVER going to pay your back. if you can live with that, loan em the money.

 

if you can't fathom them not paying you back, don't make the loan.

 

i have had the same circle of friends since 1973. i have been the borrower and the lender.

 

as have they. we are all still friends, good friends. back in college took me two years to pay $600 back to one friend, he never once asked em for the money ( i bought a 57 nomad with the money ). years later, he borrowed my compressor, body tools, welder and other tools. he painted a 66 corsa for me, painted my nomad. when he moved from ca to colorado, i gave him the compressor and all the other stuff ( at this point most of that stuff was over 5 yrs old ).

 

i can make more money, it's hard to make and keep good friends.

 

again, if you can't afford to loan it, don't do it.

 

if you can afford to loan it, do it with the thought, you will never ever get it back.

 

most important part, will it make a difference in your life 5 yrs from now ???

 

oh, 1975, i "sold" classmate item my girl was selling. he promised to pay, never did. i gave her cash from my pocket, didn't tell her was my money. 75 bucks. i brokered the deal, made it my loss. 2 mo later classmate moved. never heard from him again.

 

cost me 75 bucks to learn not to be a broker. LOL

 

you did right giving your girl the money. she is right that you don't owe it BUT, will always be a sticky point between you if you didn't make it right with her.

 

make a choice, cut the friend loose or cut the money loose, don't let it eat at you.

 

good luck with this, wayne

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...make a choice, cut the friend loose or cut the money loose, don't let it eat at you.

 

good luck with this, wayne

 

HAH!! No wories there, I've got bigger fish to fry! (notice my recent garage thread here..) I've got PLENTY of more important things eating me at this point! :lol:

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