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I just recalled a funny story from 4 years ago...


auxilary

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At my previous job (where I got laid off from) there was a russian ass-hole Mark working there (other than me), except this guy had no sense of humor, and had a superiority complex. He was known to throw out insults at random, and arguing regarding anything

 

We had a meet in LA for pre-sales engineers, engineers and sales guys. about 20-25 people in the room, some of importance. People were writing notes on white boards, and I had my camera with me. My boss says "take pics of the meeting so we can post up pics on the department page." Someone else chimes in with "alex, take pics of the whiteboard so we don't have to." Not a problem.

 

Mark the ******* says "Now, don't everyone crowd alex at once, he's a little slow, and he can't multitask well." I'm looking at him with "WTF?!" look, and so is everyone else. In split second, eyes shift to me because everyone (25 people) are expecting my response.

 

So I reply with "Mark, if I wanted to listen to an ass-hole, I'd fart."

 

10 second pause. Mark's jaw produces a gaping hole of a mouth. He's stunned. He can't for the life of him figure out how to combat a 3rd grade insult. My coworkers start falling out of their chairs laughing, because they all hate him. My boss (who also isn't a fan of Mark) is trying her best to hold the laughs in.

 

"I'm going outside for a smoke" Mark says, and disappears for a while.

 

My boss tells me to not do that again, because there were a couple of directors in that room, and not to do it because she can't stop laughing.

 

For the duration of the next year until the company shut down, Mark didn't say a word to me unless it was business related

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