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It's time for aux's SUPERMARKET STORY! aux: 1, panhandler: 0


auxilary

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i leave the supermarket, and I'm loading groceries into the trunk of my car. This guy comes up to me with a walker...

 

"hey man... i'm really sorry to bother you like this, you see, my wife and my kid, we're out on the street... and man, i got nothing.... I just got back from being in the Marines..."

 

Now, he has a walker cane in his left hand, and he's limping on his left leg. WRONG LEG. He is also wearing new baggy jeans.

 

me: Marines? Semper Fi, soldier! I was decommissioned 2 months ago!

 

him: *confused look* Uh... Semmer Ti...

 

me: what division were you in?

 

him: 331st

 

me: no kidding? my brother is in 331! You know Colonel Wzierbowski? Lt. Commander Vasquez? Commander Apone?

 

him: oh yeah, I think I've ran into those guys before, Vasquez was a cool guy

 

me: Hey man [as I'm digging around for spare change in the ashtray], you ever seen the movie Aliens?

 

him: yeah, long time ago.

 

me: Then you would know that I just gave you the names of Colonial Space Marines from the movie, right? And Vasquez was a chick.

 

him: .............

 

Then I hand him a couple of quarters, and say "Valiant attempt, but you should try a different approach - decommissioned soldiers don't get kicked out on the street, especially if you're trying to pull off a war injury"

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Guest comeandzpa

Much better/more generous than what my dad wants to try someday- carrying around a stack of McDonalds applications for just such an occasion.

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