need to get this off my chest

[David K]

I cant say my current situation was planned. SHe is so perfect for me and the love is there, and everything is so great! I have no regrets about our relationship as is now and i am sooo looking foward to spending the rest of my days with her, and the boy.

 

That first one i mentioned i admit was a stupid mistake. Yep i was young and i wanted to "bang bang bang", just got a tad careless doing it. Yeah i got hell from everybody for being irresponsible. My fault. Im glad we arent together anymore because i would not have met my fiancee. Now i have a house, 3 z's (lol), her, and my son coming. The reason we are not married yet is because we want to have her family here and my family. My brother is in the Army and will not be home until Christmas 2003. Her family lives in Long Island, NY and they are going to come out for the wedding. My mother lives in Colorado, so she is bring the family out too. We want to get married now, but we want to involve the entire family, so we will wait. I feel it is worth the wait.

 

Im feeling pretty good today. As i get older, i realize that there are things that would pop into your mind that make you wonder what would have been. I have been with a few girls before that one, but she was the first one i took the step with and made it real.

 

My fiancee and i are prepared to spend our days together. For me to wonder about the past is not a sign that i am doubting my current situation. Its just the human mind doin' its thing. Im happy and successful right where im at. Thanks for the words guys!

[David K]

Originally posted by Mudge:

I agree with both points, I'd almost question what your estrogen levels are

Hey now, it takes a real man to be in touch with his feminine side

[ZR8ED]

As I like to say " I'm part of the newly single group again"

 

I know what you mean about thinking of "what if's", and dredging up the past. It can kill you.

 

I try hard to not look back.. what is done is done now. Now I have no kids, but I would not wish a divorce..let alone one involving childern on my worst enemy... that is how bad divorce can be.

 

Funny how people see connections in movies, but hey some movies do make a point. I actually learned something from the movie "Cast Away" Starting over and not giving up. Life is good, keep breathing, and you'll eventually learn to look ahead, and not back.

 

At 32yrs old, I too am in a crossroads of my life, and am not sure where I'll be in 2 years, let alone 10... I'll let you know when I get there.

 

[Mikelly]

As young adolescant males we have the need to seek out and sire as many women as we possibly can. This drive is primal and natural. Understanding it and recognizing our own responsibilities is of the highest importance. Assuming that your female counterpart is taking all precautions is both ignorant and unfair to saddle them with all the burden, not to mention unhealthy in this STD filled world. What many of you don't know is that I also "fathered" (for lack of a better word because I was never a parent to this child) a child with the first girl I was ever serious about. It was right after high school when we started dating and we were hot and heavy for about 6 months before it fizzled. Fast forward to June the year after, we've since broken up, and this young woman is at my house talking with my mother. I arrive home after a day at school and she tells me she is pregnant, 6.5 months and thet the baby is certainly mine. We haven't dated in about 5.5 months and I am literally in shell shock. Mind you she is not showing. She is 5 ft. 9inches tall, still weighing in at 125#. No belly, no signes of being pregnant. I'm a full time student with a 4.0 grade point average, my life is on a super high, I've got a reasonably nice car, a motorcycle, a full time evening job as a park ranger, and I'm in college, the only person in my family to ever go... and now this... Turns out she was pregnant, and it was mine.

 

This happened. Every year on August 6th I say a prayer for my son who is now to be 18 years old this coming August. I know not where he is, or who is raising him. His mother, Patricia and I decided that we didn't love each other and that we weren't ready for this, and she was to far along for an abortive option to be an option, so we gave the infant up for adoption to a family who couldn't have children for medical reasons. coincidentaly my Mother's birthday is August 6th as well. Talk about hard. Every year my mother and I have a sad moment due to the very fact that she is reminded of the grandchild she never got to know. We are both reminded of the irresponsibility of youth.

 

To add an even more traggic footnote to all this, the young woman I created this human being with was apparantly CRAZY about me all along and went along with it because she knew it was over between us. She eventually had a mental breakdown and had to seek therapy and medication. Yea, I know a thing or two about guilt. I have several chapters in the book.

 

I always swore that I would never regrete the decisions I've made in life. Those who know me, know me to give 110% to everything I do. I work hard, and I play MUCH harder. I do that to distance myself from that everpresent fear of regrete. However, the older we get, the harder it is to keep fear and regrete at bey. I've given my mother the go ahead to start the painfull search that may one day bring he and I face to face. That day will be filled with explanations, emotion, and the hard reality of a past lead by youth, testosterone and irresponsibility.

 

So to the youth of the world reading this, heed the warnings of someone who has worn a path in the concrete that goes around the proverbial block. Be a man. Take the proper precautions, and for gods sake WEAR a condom. Don't let fear and regrete chase you through the rest of your days.

 

Mike

[Guest polarity]

This is just the useless rambling of someone who is going through the same deal you are.

 

I have been with the same girl for the last 4 years, and am for the most part completely happy. I say for the most part because every now and then I start to think about my 'old love'. The funny thing is that she and I are still great friends. She lives an hour from me and I go to visit her sometimes just to say hello. Nothing ever happens between us because I wont allow anything to ruin what I have now, but I know that if my current relationship ever ended she would want me back. I do not have a child on the way nor have I ever had to deal with that situation, although I'm sure one day I will. I think the reason I always miss her so much is that I guess I hold on to an idolized(sp) version of her. While she is very nice and wonderful, in my mind she was perfect. Smart, beautiful, loving, she had it all. We split on very good terms and I think thats why I can still think this about her, but I know that in real life if we got back together the version of her I hold in my head is not how she would be. Almost like I took everything bad away from her and all I ever saw was the good..

 

Billy