DavyZ Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Beer Theories "Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Babe Ruth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~ Lyndon B. Johnson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." ~ Ernest Hemingway ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Paul Hornung ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ H. L. Mencken ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ George Bernard Shaw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.! ~ W. C. Fields ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. ~ Professor Irwin Corey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Leo Durocher ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." I thought this stuff was too funny not to post Davy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BirdmanZ Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Amen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some-Guy Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 awesome!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DemonZ Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Beer Theories ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ H. L. Mencken ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I always believed it was actor/race car driver Paul Newman who coined that phrase. Newman's day has become an unoffical event at Princeton and other universities. I searched and could not find any connection with H. L. Menchen on that quote. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbk240z Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I love it! Thread is too funny. Beer.......it's what's for dinner. Beer, helping ugly women look good. The heck with cookies and milk, give me ti**ies and beer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavyZ Posted August 20, 2006 Author Share Posted August 20, 2006 Beer Theories ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day' date=' 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ H. L. Mencken ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [/quote'] I always believed it was actor/race car driver Paul Newman who coined that phrase. Newman's day has become an unoffical event at Princeton and other universities. I searched and could not find any connection with H. L. Menchen on that quote. Oh, I'm sure that there are errors in this information--no doubt about that. I mean, I'm reading these quotes and I find myself saying, "Oh, I'm so sure that he really did say that." It's all in good fun, but never believe accuracy on stuff like this. I never bothered to verify anything--I just enjoy laughing!! Davy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big-phil Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Beer, um.......I never touch the stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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