The Husband / Wife Stores (Joke or is it!?)

[JSM]

The Husband Store

 

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

 

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

 

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

 

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

 

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

 

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

 

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

 

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

 

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

 

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

 

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

 

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

 

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

 

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)

----------------

PLEASE NOTE:

 

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

 

Floor 1 - The first floor has wives that love sex.

 

Floor 2 - The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

 

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited!

[Tony D]

"You may be Mr. Right, honey... But he's Mr. Hung!"

Old Trosley Cartoon Punchline...

[Peternell]

Marriage is like a deck of cards……………. In the beginning it’s all Hearts and Diamonds but by the end you just want a Club and a Spade!

 

 

 

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

 

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

 

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

 

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

 

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

 

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

 

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

 

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

 

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

 

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

[Tony D]

barump, bump! Tisssshhhhh!

Thank you don't forget to tip your waiters, I'm here the rest of the week two shows 9 and 11...