WTF am i supposed to do with a stalker

[bluesinged]

OK... I'm a little flustered about my current situation because of some information i acquired this morning, and I'd like some input on how i should deal with it.

 

I am currently in the process of setting my girlfriend up to purchase a 1993 JDM MR2 Turbo. The man I am buying the MR2 from works at a dealership and has helped me a great deal to figure out waht i need to do once i buy the car and has thus far been a very honest person. I found out this morning from ******* (car salesman) that my girlfriend's ex came buy the dealership and asked ******* what my girlfriend and I were doing there. This is the 11th report from people in general taht I have met with (in the past 8 months) that this guy is stalking us. My girlfriend told her ex (about 8 months ago) that he never could, nor would be like me... the next thing you know the dude went out and bought a Z just like mine and has been following us ever since.

 

I have yet to actually SEE the guy following us but it seems that he always knows where we are... he approached the SAME salesman that I was talking too about the MR2 meaning that he had to be close enough to actually SEE or HEAR who I as meeting with.

 

I feel a tremendous ammount of responsibility to protect and care for those I love... and myself as well now that i think about it. This guy has threatened me and my girlfriend on more than one occasion (unfortunately I have NO proof of this... the text msg's were deleted from her phone). He spent a some time in military school... roughly the same ammount i've spent in the same setting. You dont go there to learn how to be a panzy so I'm assuming he's just as dangerous as anyone that wants to kill someone could be...

 

The guys stalking us so he's obviously lost it, then goes out and buys a Z to prove to a girl (who hates him and has VOICED this opinion CLEARLY) that he can be like me...

 

So... what do I do?? I have no proof for the cops to look into and I dont want to just sit idle and let this freak follow me around. and I CERTAINLY dont like the fact that he drives by my girlfriends house a few times a week all slow and sneeky like.

 

Throw me a bone guys, i'm sure there's all sorts of lawyers and attorney's and cops in here that can give me a few pointers as to a non-violent and non-threatening way to deal with the situation. I am not the one that needs to be in jail and dont intend on going there for beating this lunatic's ***.

[Guest HBZ81]

from a legal stand point you should:keep lots of accurate records and goto the cops

 

from a man standpoint:

kick his *** really really hard (i am not condoning this method)

[TheNeedForZ]

Wow that guy is definitely a lunatic, quite a vulnerable one too.

 

If I were you, I would just walk into a police station and tell them about the situation; tell the police how he is always following, expecially how he always know where you guys are. Of course there is nothing sufficient right now to put this crazy dude away, however, if the police know about your case then at least you'll know what they can do for you, and what you can do. The fact that the authorities know about your case alone is a good deterant to the bad guy. So once you reported to police, let the crazy dude know that you have already reported. This way, you kill his intention to do harm before he even has the intention.

 

Bottom line is, you should let someone else know besides you and the girlfriend. I am not talking about us, but your close friend or family. Should anything happen to you, someone knows what could have happened and the police will know who the suspect is. It can save lives.

 

For insurance, you can always get pepper spray for the lady, she'll appreciate it when you are not around.

[bluesinged]

Here entire family, as well as mine for that matter, know about the guy. It just seems weird when people that i talk to say "hey this guy was asking about you two, said he owned a trans am (which is actually my girlfriends and was never his) and wanted to find out where you guys were headed"

 

its just creepy stuff like that that urks me... i just wanna smack him and say "DUDE SHE LEFT YOU WHATS GOTTEN INTO YOUR DANG HEAD!?!?!? TAKE SOME PILLS OR SOMETHING!"

[DavyZ]

You and she need to go to the police and file a report/complaint immediately. She can give him all the information she has on him, etc. Both of you being there will lend more credibility than just one person being there. At each incident, report it. Explain to the police every time it happens. The record grows and grows and, at some point, you'll have hard evidence and the police will finally be able to do something serious about it. Your GF (and you) can get a restraining order on the guy once you have evidence. Then, he's just a slip away from the slammer. You must follow through each time....

 

My $.02 anyway.

 

Davy

[CruxGNZ]

... as to a non-violent and non-threatening way to deal with the situation. I am not the one that needs to be in jail and dont intend on going there for beating this lunatic's ***.

DAMNIT!

 

Oh well, take notes, get pictures, even talk to neighbors to see if this nut has been around and has been seen. Evidence makes the case. I have recently invested in a voice recorder. It doesn't require any tapes, and can record for many hours straight without replacing batteries. It is very small. Just something to consider. Think restraining order...

 

EDIT: What Davy said.

[bluesinged]

DAMNIT!

 

 

lol...

[rudypoochris]

Fake your own death?

[Guest ON3GO]

what kind of Z did he get?

whats this kids name? is it mike? (not me i know lol).

if you dont wanna say it on here then pm me.

 

im in houston too so.

 

mike

[bluesinged]

his name is corey and i believe its an 79-83 model Gray Z... if you've seen it around. I've honestly never seen it before, think he's only had the Z a couple weeks after he totalled both his bikes, a jetta, and probly his old bug which he had last.

 

EDIT:

 

My girlfriends mom has seen it drive past her house a couple times and the guy at the car dealership was just freakin confused =X

[Guest ON3GO]

dont know of any ZX's like that...

ill keep a eye out though.

also if you want any info or work done to a MR2 let me know.

i have 3 MR2's at the shop.. all 3 have jdm turbo engines and one is being built up as a stroker 500hp motor.

can always just come and pick our brains too if you need any help or ideas.

 

mike

[bluesinged]

On3Go... check your PM

 

Still open to other idea's on what to do ppl i'm always open to suggestion!

[MusPuppis]

The suggestions listed are about as good as your going to get.

 

As stated, GO TO THE COPS. Can they do anything right now? Nope. But getting it on record is important. Very very important. Again, as stated, report every time hes seen. Every time. Eventually you'll be able to get a restraining order on his *** - then its only a matter of time before he gets in real trouble.

 

Now, personally, I'd confront him and make it extremely clear that if he doesnt back down and walk away from the whole situation I'd make him seriously regret it. But, since we're all (for the most part anyway) grown-ups my approach certainly wouldnt be the smartest or most mature.. BUt its how my simple self deals with poeple who seriously over-step themselves.

 

Oh, definatly buy your G/F some pepper spray. I got shot with the stuff a while ago and man.. it laid my 250pd self out pretty quick.

[naplesZ]

I say get statements from everyone who has said that he was there asking about you. Get all of the past ones and any new ones and report each one to the cops. That way If you try to get a restraining order against him you will have some proof that he has been following you'll around. That way it won't just be your word against his. I would caution against talking to this guy or doing anything physical. For one do you think you can take him? It would really suck if you tried to teach this guy a lesson and you end up getting your *** kicked and he could probably have you arrested. Which would make your restraining order harder to prove or he could get one against you. On the other hand you could beat the crap out of him and really make him mad and think he has to prove something to his x and take you out permanently. To sum it all up. If this guy was sane enough for a good *** kicken to set him straight he probably wouldn't be stalking you and your girlfriend.

Just my 2 cents.

[VRJoe]

Documentation is the key, without it the police can't help. Contact a Private Investigator and hire them to check the situation out. Since he's obviously tracking you it will be a no-brainer for the PI. Once you have the documentation from the PI you can *BOTH* file a Restraining Order against him (key word - BOTH). That's step one.

 

Step Two:

 

Have the PI track you and watch for a violation of the Restraining Orders. Even if he skirts the edges of the RO he will fall into the anti-stalking laws. Turn the evidence over to the police AND the courts and request a competency hearing. If he continues to follow you after that he could be arrested or held for psychiatric testing.

 

It will cost a little money, but it will be the best way to get evidence. It should not cost too much due to the fact it should be pretty easy for the PI to get the evidence from what you've told us. By going this route the evidence has great weight to the court since it was collected by a third party. The PI can be a big help in all this. You remain above reproach and are obviously acting out of fear of harm from this person.

 

Spend a little money and get all your ducks in a row, then let the police and court system handle him.

 

It's actually kind of fun when you have someone stalk the stalker. Some PI's have VERY persuasive methods of convincing a stalker to stop once they've collected the evidence.

 

One way to find a good PI is to ask the Detectives after explaining the situation to them. Explain that you want to gather the evidence BEFORE you need their help.

 

Just my little opinion, hope that helps,

 

- Joe

[Moridin]

If you or your girlfriend see him driving by her house slow and creepy like, walk outside and start taking pictures. Every time he does this, go out and take a picture. Make sure you have a date and time stamp on the picture...it would definitely help. You could maybe be more sneeky about it and video tape it with time and date evidence recorded on the tape. Ask all the people whom let you know about him coming around if they would be willing to give their witness of events to a police officer for a report. If you can start adding all these things up, you will be able to build a big enough report to get a restraining order against this guy (Like all the others have said). Pictures, video, and others people evidence will help a ton.

 

Keep a level head, take in lots of evidence, and let the legal system put him away for awhile before he can do anything truly dangerous.

[Guest tony78_280z]

Oh, definatly buy your G/F some pepper spray. I got shot with the stuff a while ago and man.. it laid my 250pd self out pretty quick.

?

[Pop N Wood]

Mail him naked pictures of you doing the girlfriend.

 

That ought to push him over the edge so when he gets in your face you can shoot him.

[Mikelly]

Taking measures to protect yourself and your family are good first steps... AFTER you seek guidance in your county and state on what you are legally bound to in order to protect yourself. You want to make sure you don't become the aggressor in the eyese of the law.

 

As others have commented, document everything, and get statements from everyone involved and get them to the police. Then file a restraining order with the police. How long ago was it that your GF broke up with him?

 

Make sure all parties are forthright with the police. If you aren't honest with them from the beginning, don't expect them to be sympathetic later.

 

Mike

[bluesinged]

I got shot with the stuff a while ago and man.. it laid my 250pd self out pretty quick.

 

Dude... what are you getting all shot up with pepperspray for? Ask a pretty lady for directions?

 

BTW she broke up with him like a year ago... he's called her, followed her, approached her and tried to contact her online. He's the type that doesn't let go obviously. As far as me fighting him... I'm stronger, faster, and much more educated as far as any kind of physical confrontation. But he's crazy... sometimes that gives even the most timid of people an edge over highly trained and knowledgeable martial arts specialists. When someone loses it they become way too unpredictable to be able to reliably say you could win.