Black Friday

[Chaparral2f]

I've read of the problems that some of the members have posted about. In the back of my head I've always been kind of thankful that things have been going pretty smooth for us. Damn, I guess that I should have known that crap doesn't miss you, it only waits until you aren't looking.

 

My wife and I have been feeding our early thirties grandson for about three months now. He has had a drug problem and has been in and out of rehab four or five times. We took him in because we didn't want to see him homeless. While he has been with us we've spent about five hundred dollars on medical expenses for him. He has three kids that are being raised by his parents. He has no drivers licence because he isn't working and paying child support.

Today my wife went with me in the truck. It was a short round, only 500 miles, about a ten hour trip. We left the grandson at home and drove my Jimmy into the yard where I work. After a fun day of driving in the rain and snow, we got home about 8:30 tonight. I parked the truck, and went to get the Jimmy to go home. The Jimmy wasn't where I parked it. I called the sheriff and when he arrived gave him the info on the car. Meanwhile my wife happened to see my bicycle propped up around the corner of the building where my car was parked. When we got home, and I found the Z31 pushed out into the driveway and my sportster moved into the center of the garage. I guess that he was going to steal it instead of the car, but I always disable it before I park it for the winter. In the house we discovered that : 1.My 41 magnum was missing. 2.The change jar had mysteriously dissapeared along with a 2lb coffee can full of change that was on the back of a shelf in out closet. 3.My laptop is missing.

The officer said he'd get back to us, but I've been sitting here for about three hours getting more and more upset trying todecide whether to have him sent to prison when they catch him or finding him myself and hurting him real bad. What really sucks is that he let my wife, his grandmother, down. I think that if they catch him, and when he gets out of jail, I may just have to cripple him. When i do, it is gonna cause some real problems with the son in law and daughter, but right now I don't really give a rats a** anyway.

Thanks for letting me rant, its better to sit here and talk than to get the bike out and chase around looking for him in the cold weather.

[Cody 82 ZXT]

Sorry, to hear that your having to deal with these kind of proublems. I applaud you for working to help him out. I know it's very hard to deal with a loved one with an addiction. I just wanted to say that I hope you and your wife can remember that it's the addiction to a mind altering substance that is making him do what he is doing. It dosen't make it ok or tolerable but, remember that he proubly did not do those things to hurt you or your wife but, to find relief for his pain.

 

By the way if you find him first a swift kick in the a** may be just the thing he needs.

[Mikelly]

Look, You did the right thing. You tried to help an addicted member of your family. You entrusted him to your personal posession while you were at work and you rolled the dice. We all hope for the best, but often the sicknesses of our society intercept our lives and impact our worlds.

 

If rehabilitation hasn't worked in the last four or five times, jail may be his last resort. I'd not hurt him (Am I saying this??? ) but not help him any further. Prosecute him and send him off to prison where he will have time to reflect on the pain he has cause those who loved and cared most for him.

 

We are currently going through this same thing with My wife's cousin. She was a business owner, married with a 12 year old son two years ago. She went from owning her own company to losing the business, getting divorced, losing her son to social services (He's now with his real father), going on the run for prescription fraud (Multiple felony counts), and we found out that while she is out on bail, she is working the streets to feed her crack habit.

 

All within the span of two years... A life, a family has been completely ruined. It has been a real eye opener to be this close to that implosion.

 

Drug addiction in America is the true cancer of our society.

Mike

[Pop N Wood]

I have been on the losing end of trying to help self destructive family members.

 

You can take solace in the fact you did a good thing and by remembering the saying "he who steals my purse steals trash". Also remember, especially when it comes to addicts, sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. Until he wants help there is not much you can really do for him. With addicts, that simply doesn't happen until they can recognize that their problem is causing as much trouble in their own lives as it has for all of those around them. That can take years.

 

Do him a favor and put him in jail. When you see him agian, let him know you still want to help him, but that until he cleans up his life you will hurt him should he come around your house or your family. I would also change all the locks and get new credit cards.

 

Good luck.

[MusPuppis]

Addiction is a dangerous thing. So too is using it to rationalize theivery and betrayal. Addiction drives poeple to do things they wouldnt ordinarily, but it really has alot to do wth the person in the first place.

 

Addiction is one of the most selfish and hateful things a person can inflict on friends and family. The damage done so that person can have something they "want" is staggering. In the end, I dont have any sympathy for poeple like that. You have have stolen because of the addiction, but it was still a CHOICE you made.. and if you choose to neglect your children, to steal from family and let those around you suffer in order to feed your greed for whatever substance your addicted to you are low, selfish and a fool.

 

Its great you were willing to try and help him. Its awful what he did to you. Id bury him so deep in a jail daylight would be relegated to nothing more than a fond memory.

 

I wouldnt find him and kick his *** either. Find him maybe - then haul him in yourself - but dont hurt him. The last thing you want is getting yourself in legal trouble over him.. and it occurs to me someone willing to steal as much as he stole from you wouldnt hesitate in pressing charges out of spite or in hopes he could keep you from seeing him jailed.

[Here comes trouble]

Chap ---you and your wife do not need anymore of that grief. Let the police handle it and let the chips fall where they land. The gun could get him into more problems than he bargained for. Maybe hard to do but cut him completely loose until he gets off the dope because until this happens... he is in a down hill spiral. It is sad that crap means more to the addict than love, respect,and honesty. For some addicts there is no turning back. No doubt my wayward relative up at Trail knows your grandson well. Some young woman on crank murdered her grand mother last night in Eugene with a kitchen knife. The girl was psychotic and delusional believing she was a rap star and the spouse of the Late Rick James. Judge Rasmussen sent a young man to 6 1/2 years in prison for home burglaries done to buy crank. The young fellow was in and out of jail about 8 times in the last 6 months and burglarized scores of homes in between.

[DavyZ]

Addiction is one of the most selfish and hateful things a person can inflict on friends and family. The damage done so that person can have something they "want" is staggering. In the end' date=' I dont have any sympathy for poeple like that. You have have stolen because of the addiction, but it was still a CHOICE you made.. and if you choose to neglect your children, to steal from family and let those around you suffer in order to feed your greed for whatever substance your addicted to you are low, selfish and a fool.

 

Its great you were willing to try and help him. Its awful what he did to you. Id bury him so deep in a jail daylight would be relegated to nothing more than a fond memory.

 

I wouldnt find him and kick his *** either. Find him maybe - then haul him in yourself - but dont hurt him. The last thing you want is getting yourself in legal trouble over him.. and it occurs to me someone willing to steal as much as he stole from you wouldnt hesitate in pressing charges out of spite or in hopes he could keep you from seeing him jailed.[/quote']

 

Totally agree with this. Don't touch him unless he threatens you or your wife. I'd put him in jail and....hopefully for a good number of years. He is so selfish that he needs some serious time by himself; what better place than a prison? Hopefully they recover the gun since no one wants it used by the wrong person to do the wrong thing---that'd be a crying shame.

 

The positive side is that now you are wiser to the schemes of the addicted and they'll much less chance of the same thing happening again.

 

It still sucks though.

 

Davy

[BrandonsZ]

I've been through this, my sis was the perp. Long story short she died of overdose Jan 2005, 18 years after the start of her addiction leaving a wake of destruction, fear, child abandonment and crime in her path. I'd let the authorities take care of him, even when he rehabs, it might not be enough to fix him. Sorry to hear about this and good luck. I'd put the rest of your valuables in another unknown location.

[Chaparral2f]

I know that you are right about what to do. (but it sure would feel good to hurt him) However since I should be expected to show some inteligence, I've decided that it would be a shame to have him living out on the streets in winter. So because I am such a charitable kind of guy I've decided that when they catch him I will try to make it possible for him to have a nice warm place to stay for the next several years.

We have replaced the Jimmy with a '96 T-bird. It has a 4.6 V8 and is clean and comfortable. We looked all over witha planned budget of about $8,000 but couldn't get anything that was decent. Finally ran across this bird that was a couple years older than I hoped for but it was only $3500. It was really clean and only has 70,000 miles.

The wife and I seem to be able to handle emergencies in our lives, its just the cay to day things that are a hassle. Thanks again for all the support.

Joe

[dr_hunt]

Yeah, I had an ex girlfriend, and several high school friends that went that way, can't help them, they have to help themselves although they never really do. It's absolutely a waste of time and money to help those afflicted with a drug addiction IMO, been there done that. If I had to do it all over again, I'd just get rid of them and be done with it. Let's see 2 are dead of OD's, two are in prison, one is going to prison.

 

I keep telling my boy the horror stories and showing him the proof, and spending all the time with him I can to make sure he doesn't have bad friends and idle hands. I've told him many times that if he does drugs, we're through and I mean it.

 

Let the law do it's job, move on. I see that you've learned that you can't solve everyone's problems.