Josh needs a checklist of things to do before he moves in with a woman for the first time

[josh817]

So apparently when I signed up for dorms at school last week, I found out I was number 540 on a wait list... This is bad news because I left my dads house, and living at home with my mom is... meh. The bigger problem is that I'm 45 minutes from school so that will be a pain in the ass however I'm transferring in the winter so it would only suck for one semester. My option now is to get an apartment.

 

Problem #1: I only know 2 people (like actually know them) at UTA

Problem #2: The only plausible person to board up with is:

 

So how should I prepare? She's talking about decorating, and I don't even know for sure if I will be in an apartment. I'll only be in for one semester, but that's enough to drive me insane. Actually, one week will do it. Once this starts happening what will I do with myself:

 

I have to mentally prepare myself for this. Probably won't be that bad though. Personally I was looking for this:

 

The true question is, can a college girl handle THIS:

 

My momma spoils me with snack foods so I don't starve. Girls like ice cream. I can't have any of this caught red handed eating my breakfast crap going on in my household.

 

Perhaps you're asking yourself "Josh, how do you eat your delicious ice cream with your awesome make shift ninja mask on?". My response to you is simple yet effective. A technique I use before I deploy my state of the art NASA utensils for ice cream eating is to pull the ninja mask up and over, thus creating room to feed as demonstrated below:

 

No but seriously, any ideas? We know each other from highschool, and we're 19-20 years old. Tell me thing I should bring with me for apartment life. Asking my mother won't help. She'll tell me to bring everything.

Edited July 10, 2010 by josh817

[skib]

Skibby approves of possible target. kinda cute

 

 

her cloths and jewelry match so shes not a total slob, but look at her fork/knife and napkin, not a total OCD neat freak either

(i would have set them in the same place just all parallel, Im weird whatdawant)

also doesnt look like shes had many or any of those chips(ie not her mess), shes leaning in for the pic and already kinda far from the basket, kind of a reach to go form the basket to the dip bowl when she could just use one of those plates there.

 

 

Keep a fridge/freezer in your room.

 

 

 

the real question is will you be sharing a bathroom, that may be the deal breaker. the rest can be handled

Edited July 10, 2010 by skib

[skib]

also, do you have an raspberry sorbe?

[josh817]

Bathroom will be shared.

 

I should make sure the toilet seat is down, however still utilize the upright position to not lose all dignity. I have a bad habit of being too lazy to simply put a new roll of TP on the thing. Instead, I put it on the toilet, or if my sister is visiting I hide it.

 

I also have a horrible habit of destroying the shower with grease and other foreign Z car material. In fact after putting a new tranny (what? I said tranny?) in the Z I had to take two showers, and then the shower had to take a shower. It was a mess.

 

Oh yah, don't forget to make sure there isn't any hair in the sink.

 

EDIT: What the hell is raspberry sorbe and more importantly, what should I do for home/Z car defense. Its on campus so I can't bring any firearms. Baseball bat? Fry pan? Pissed off roommate?

 

 

EDIT 2:

Bathroom deal breaker could in fact be this:

 

EDIT 3:

Upon further inspection, she appears to enjoy international travel/trade/business which opens the possibility of being a Russian spy however very unlikely. More importantly, we see that she has clean floors, a relatively clean night stand, and then suspicious a picture of Ben Stiller with a legible "How To Make"-something. The flower in the hair makes her deceivingly attractive however threatens the possible destruction of man vibes from her masquerade of decorating efforts AKA it infers that flowers may appear elsewhere. Man vibes consist of having 1 full 3ft. long shelf dedicated to Z books/catalogs/FSM's, sniper books, the weapons dictionary, and the war planes dictionary.

Edited July 10, 2010 by josh817

[jakeoster]

Haha have fun. Ask her if she likes Z cars. If she says no, then tell her she's fat.

[skib]

Ask her if she likes Z cars. If she says no, then tell her she's fat.

 

 

this is the solution to all interactions with the opposite sex from now on

[hoov100]

As for the whole shower thing, Just wash you're arms before you get in the shower and a majority of the dirt, grease, ATF, gear oil, oil and gasoline will be washed away in the sink. Now you will have to clean the sink more, but cleaning the sink is alot easier then cleaning the shower twice a week. Just clean up after yourself and try not to make it look like a bachelor pad. You might even get lucky..

[josh817]

Just clean up after yourself and try not to make it look like a bachelor pad. You might even get lucky..

You make it sound like I have to lure women into a trap.

 

 

 

Flipside:

Already thought that out and judging by the conversation that's occurring, she has too.

 

Strictly my opinion but that'd be rude if I did and then transferred. Just leaving a girl wanting this ultrabuff bod of mine. Sheesh.

[-eric]

Its like 3am so I might of missed some sarcasm in this whole thing, so this post might make me sound like the ****** bag of the year.

 

How well you know her Im not sure. What sence of humor she has etc. But if your acting like you are while your posting, with the whole ice cream/ninja picture etc. Im almost positive there will be problems. Based on pictures only, she seems mature, well you seem somewhat less mature.

 

Keep the internet life directed only towards the internet. The less awkward moments the better.

 

 

I just come from personal expericance, my friend had a roommate that seemed to ack the same way, altho trying to be funny it was just weird. No hard feelings, and good luck with the move and college.

[josh817]

Man.... what a buzzkill. Lol.

 

For future readers:

This situation at hand is real, however I'm joking about the possible outcomes, I hope. I seriously do need to know what sort of stuff is brought to an apartment though. Its unfurnished, other then the stove, fridge, dishwasher, etc.

[-eric]

Just trying to help with possible chances of getting laid is all haha. I can tell someones a /b/tard.....or atleast im hoping im right from the pictures haha.

 

As odd as it is, coat hangers.....there were none anywhere. Microwave,toaster, tables(unless dinner table is with the place?) tv stand is another good one.

[Two80z4me]

haha jakeoster just gave me a new signature. anyways, I think your blowing this up as good old 40 year old virgin would put it "your putting ***** on a pedistal". Its only for a semester, and if your stressing this much, clearly you need some ganja or your just not very good with girls. To further my point, your asking this question on a DATSUN Z CAR WEBSITE, do you expect realistic answers

 

I say go for it, I dated a girl just like her who had a Z car, most fun I ever had lol. Even if she doesn't know about Z cars, teach her the ways. Most girls like her that are somewhat artsy like that enjoy learning about something that isn't some dbag in a mustang or camaro who wears a smaller t-shirt than her. This may be to harsh and not really fitting for your situation, but I once told my friend that he needed to spend more time with his girlfriend than the abercrombie and fitch clerks.

 

Go for it man, it'll be a great learning experience if anything.

[josh817]

Mmmmm I would've forgot the hangers for sure. Not a complete /b/tard yet. Google provided good stuff if you type in the proper phrases. lol

[Two80z4me]

oh, tip from the ghetto, always buy the metal hangers. you can use them for numerous things, shanking, zipline, suit hanging. You know, misc...

[jakeoster]

A set of silverware for you, a few cups maybe, bowls, plates. Not too much and not too fancy, just enough. Make sure to bring all your charging cables for computer, printer, phone, etc. You'll need something to hold your clothes and a bed. Put a shower kit together and dental hygenie kit together as well. Then all your personal affects. That's all I can think of.

[-eric]

I'll use the inner /b/ instinct then

 

* Drinking

* Drugs

* Sex

* Paying $200 for a book that costs $15 to make, only to not read it and get 5 dollars back for it at the end of the semester

* Masturbation

* Ramen

* Learning things that you already knew, or didn't need to know

* Wear khaki cargo shorts, corona t-shirts, and flip-flops

* Discovering that the majority of your professors can't teach for **** or even communicate effectively with other people

* Video games

* Sleeping

* Date Rape

* Studying That test is in three days, I'll be fine.

* Moar sex and drugs

* Skipping your morning class to finish writing a paper that's due for your afternoon class

* Moar drinking

* Paying an assload for room and board, only to get a room the size of a closet

* Moar Ramen

* Paying another assload for a meal plan, only to realize that the on-campus food sucks ass, ****, and balls

* Realizing the corporate world doesn't need you.

* Moar procrastination

* Studying Dude, that test is still two days away, I'll be all right.

* Moar drinking

* WHAT THE ****?! I have a test in six hours? Oh Christ, I haven't studied and I'm so hungover!

 

(no really dont take it seriously)

[josh817]

A set of silverware for you, a few cups maybe, bowls, plates. Not too much and not too fancy, just enough. Make sure to bring all your charging cables for computer, printer, phone, etc. You'll need something to hold your clothes and a bed. Put a shower kit together and dental hygenie kit together as well. Then all your personal affects. That's all I can think of.

I also read your other post about items serving other purposes, milk crates as a TV stand. I'm into that ****, it would make life easy. Do realize though that she may not like it which really is no big deal cause you just ignore her but our parents... Her parents don't know me and may not be to fond of that, but more annoyingly my mother would be like THATS UNSAFE AND NOT VERY STABLE.

 

"Josh what does it matter?"

It matters because she's paying housing while I do tuition.

 

EDIT:

This appears to be quickly going down hill lol.

 

I will say the major downer is that I'm taking my moms honda civic and parking the Z. It will no longer be my daily after this summer. Excitingly though, this gives me the chance to dig into it! All those projects I had saved up because I needed a long weekend in case something went wrong I would have time to fix it, I can now do. The Z is also a garage queen, so parking outside is obviously a no go.

Edited July 10, 2010 by josh817

[kiwi303]

As a random sorta guy who has flatted with girls... do you get along with her now? if so, jump in and flat with her, the worst that can happen is a paternity suit.

She looks worth the suit tho

 

A littler more seriously...

Fusewire would be my pic, the landlord/rental manager isn't going to hurry too much to get there or send an electrician to replace a fuse just because you plugged too many toys in at one time, so a pack of fuse wire comes in handy.

likewise have a few spare lightbulbs on hand, most rentals don't have them in a cupboard, so if your room light blows after hours on friday, you'll have to suffer in the dark until monday unless you swap it out with the hall bulb or have your own spare. Landlords dislike paying for after hours callouts on minor nusiences and will often stall until the working week starts.

Make sure the place is bug bombed before you shift your stuff in and spray a can or two of ripcord or other contact, persistent surface insecticide around, you don't want the previous tenants case of scabies mites moving in on you. Always assume the last tenants were total slobs, cause at some point, they will have been and roaches will have been loving them.

[woldson]

Don't start a family or this may become a long range endeavor. As for my 2ct any woman that wants to be world-ly may not ever be a a good mom or wife..........."lve never felt fulfilled"......"I deserve better then this, and you did not provide it for me (of course this is illogical).

 

You can ignore all of this if you follow the first thing, stay out of the sack! There is always rosy palmer, porn and beer! Sure you may become addictive, but that is a lot easier to fix!

[woldson]

Besides, you will never get your hands in that cam!