I got crap for sleep. At 4 am I get woken up by EXTREMELY loud shrieking and gnarling, like I'm sleeping in the middle of the african jungle or something. It's happening right outside of my window, and it's downright freaky.
I am trying to figure out what it could be, and I'm guessing raccoons. However, at 4am, I can't really think straight. I get out on the balcony, and I see the entire section of the tree foliage shaking like crazy, and in the dark I make out raccoon shapes. Now, I might be half asleep, but I'm not stupid enough to go out there unarmed, so I grabbed a knife with me. I also grabbed an apple, a pear, and some used AA batteries, and started chucking the fruit at the raccoons.
Mind you, I can't really see anything, but the crazy thing is that these things are up at 3rd story level, either fighting or *******, I can't tell which. But I know one is making yelping crying noises, and the other is making low growls and snarls and sounds REALLY f'ing vicious.
I must've hit close to home because I see this big mass climb down the tree and trudge down the walkway. The male raccoon passes by a light, and he was friggin' BIG. Probably about 50 lbs, almost 3 feet long. I'm glad that it wasn't the tree that touches my balcony, because he could've easily gone after me. I don't know if you're familiar with raccoons, but those things are friggin' VICIOUS when angered.
Anyway, so the 'coon leaves, and the female is still up in the tree, sobbing and yelping. It's a lot quieter than it used to be, so I fall asleep. An hour later, the male's back again, and he's even louder than before. I walk outside, chuck batteries at them, but I can't see them well enough to hit them. Eventually he finishes and leaves, and then I fall asleep around 5:30am, only to be intermittently woken up by female yelps, who's obviously upset at being violated or whatever.
To top it off because of that, my last dream involved throwing bananas at koalas that were doing it doggystyle on my balcony.
The thought of using live FMJ ammo on the two crossed my mind too many times, but I can't use it because a. it's really f'ing loud, b. it'll punch throw whatever's behind the raccoon. Time to invest in a pellet or bb gun