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So, You Want to Steal a Laptop


johnc

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From: http://blastradius.blogspot.com/2005/04/world-of-pain.html

 

Thursday, April 21, 2005

 

A World of Pain

 

Professor Jasper Rine lectures at UC Berkeley. Recently his laptop was stolen by a thief who was after exam data. Unfortunately for the thief, Professor Rine had some important stuff on that laptop.

 

The webcast of last Friday's Biology 1A lecture gets very interesting at timecode 48:50. I've transcribed Prof Rine's comments here, so you can see what a world of **** the thief is in:

 

 

"Thanks Gary. I have a message for one person in this audience - I'm sorry the rest of you have to sit through this. As you know, my computer was stolen in my last lecture. The thief apparently wanted to betray everybody's trust, and was after the exam.

 

The thief was smart not to plug the computer into the campus network, but the thief was not smart enough to do three things: he was not smart enough to immediately remove Windows. I installed the same version of Windows on another computer - within fifteen minutes the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers.

 

The thief also did not inactivate either the wireless card or the transponder that's in that computer. Within about an hour, there was a signal from various places on campus that's allowed us to track exactly where that computer went every time that it was turned on.

 

I'm not particularly concerned about the computer. But the thief, who thought he was only stealing an exam, is presently - we think - is probably still in possession of three kinds of data, any one of which can send this man, this young boy, actually, to federal prison. Not a good place for a young boy to be.

 

You are in possession of data from a hundred million dollar trial, sponsored by the NIH, for which I'm a consultant. This involves some of the largest companies on the planet, the NIH investigates these things through the FBI, they have been notified about this problem.

 

You are in possession of trade secrets from a Fortune 1000 biotech company, the largest one in the country, which I consult for. The Federal Trade Communication is very interested in this. Federal Marshals are the people who handle that.

 

You are in possession of proprietary data from a pre-public company planning an IPO. The Securities and Exchange Commission is very interested in this and I don't even know what branch of law enforcement they use.

 

Your academic career is about to come to an end. You are facing very serious charges, with a probability of very serious time. At this point, there's very little that anybody can do for you. One thing that you can do for yourself is to somehow prove that the integrity of the data which you possess has not been corrupted or copied.

 

Ironically, I am the only person on the planet that can come to your aid, because I am the only person that can tell whether the data that was on that computer are still on that computer. You will have to find a way of hoping that if you've copied anything that you can prove you only have one copy of whatever was made.

 

I am tied up all this afternoon; I am out of town all of next week. You have until 11:55 to return the computer, and whatever copies you've made, to my office, because I'm the only hope you've got of staying out of deeper trouble than you or any student I've ever known has ever been in.

 

I apologise to the rest of you for having to bring up this distasteful matter, but I will point out that we have a partial image of this person, we have two eyewitnesses, with the transponder data we're going to get this person."

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What an elaborate scare tactic. Its all bull except using the wireless card to find the laptop. Even then it would be hard and time consuming to find it if it was on campus. If it was off campus it would be almost impossible to find.

I'd be more scared of the possible witnesses and partial picture then anything else. But he's spewing so much bull I'd wonder if he even had those.

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Even the wireless card would be near impossible to find, the best you could do is identify which access point it's communicating with. Even knowing the access point doesn't necessarily pin point an area because given the right conditions those wireless connections can be established up to several miles away, not very likely on a college network but still a factor in locating the laptop. If the laptop really did contain very valuable info then the government could be called in and use special equipment to triangulate the signal and find it.

 

Wheelman

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My first thought was that the Professor is going to be in as much trouble as the thief for allowing this information to be so easily stolen and copied. If he had such important data why wasn't it locked up and encripted with the strongest programs available. What is that sort of info doing on a college.

He spoke of a transponder. Once activated it would allow immediate location of the laptop and the Professor would not have to make speach in front of the class. The thief would already be caught as the data is too important to wait for him to come in by himself.

This is either a poor attempt to get stolen computer back or more likely an urban myth.

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Well, its gone, I should have quoted, rather than linked. The jist of the story was that the Prof. exaggerated on all counts in an attempt to scare the thief into returning it, key point they made was imagining Microsoft responding to ANY issue within 15 minutes.... lol.

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No way, what is this, "Enemy of the State"? The professor may as well have said that there's a satellite image tracking system taking pictures of the top of his head at this very moment!

 

"the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers."

...I haven't received any calls yet...!

Owen

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It's all scare tactics. The truth is that laptop had student info going back to the 60's name's, ssi #, parents names addresses etc. California Law if any computer systems is compromised reasonable effort must be made to if form all people compromised. That’s a butt load of money for Buckley to accomplish the task. That doesn't count the lawsuits if the wrong person uses the data.

 

The question is why was this data kept on an unsecured laptop.

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I am a MAC user, maybe that is why I don't get the "remove windows" and "Redmond, WA" references.

 

Microsoft people should find every laptop ever stolen, and charge the police triple for their software since MS is doing their jobs for them.

 

quote:

he was not smart enough to immediately remove Windows. I installed the same version of Windows on another computer - within fifteen minutes the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers.

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