You know you're Ghetto when...

[BrandonsZ]

The following have occurred: (All true with one place I rented for 9 months during college)

 

1. Two strangers get into a drunken fight with each other (taking out your mailbox is optional).

2. 6 months after you call the water utility out to fix your meter because it's percolating through the valve cover with a perpetual puddle in front of your driveway that is deep enough to splash up on your car every day. They put one of those little signs that say "don't park here from 7am to 7pm" In an hour the sign is tagged, in two hours the sign is knocked down and someone is parked there, in three hours the sign is found down the street in 15 pieces. The next day you get a notice that your address could not be serviced at this time, call again.

3. The cable guy takes one look at the cable connection at the pole... in your neighbor's yard... with the pit bulls, then gets back in his truck and drives away. Later you get a notice that they cannot service your address at this time.

4. A bum walks by every day and asks for change.

5. Someone wants to come in and use your stove to "light his J". - Yeah right dude, uh my stove hasn't worked since... ever, get outta here.

6. The cockroaches run for your front door and in a remarkable triple summersault end up dead just inside your door from the daily treatments of Malathion, Raid and Borax. (you wouldn't want to see the inside of my vacuum cleaner bag back then)

7. When you move out, you leave all your old furniture and mattress... on the side of the house, next to your neighbor's rusted out lawnmower, old TV, and burnt lamp, and faded children's toys... that have weeds growing in them.

8. At 11pm the party starts.

9. At 1am the police arrive.

10. At 1:25am the party starts... with entirely different people.

11. Ghetto bird flies every night, all night.

12. Cat fights aplenty.

13. Strange smell inside... stranger smell outside.

14. At least one window is broken and has tagged plywood and duct tape on it.

15. Dead Crabgrass in the front, dirt in the back... I mean dead weeds, dead weeds.

16. Cracked driveway... I mean spots of intact driveway, and little puddles see #2.

17. Lush, tall, green grass... growing out of the gravel on the side yard.

18. Chain link fence in the front yard, Pit bulls chained to the poles.

19. Gunshots daily.

20. Monthly, the street is blocked due to police activity.

 

That's enough, ahhh the memories.

 

I could have taken all that, but #6 made me move out. It wears on you when you find dead bodies every freekin' morning on the kitchen floor "shudder*.

[innerware]

1.When you walk into the kitchen to find your cat eating cockroaches.

2.When the grease from the previos tenant is so thick above the stove that it is actually dripping.

3. When your neighbor verbally assaults you and your roomates and you almost have to shoot him with your now retreived 9mm untill the cops come and it takes 5 of them to wrestle him to the ground. Apparently this is his strike 3 and it is bye bye for a while. Either way he was going somewhere for a while.

4. You end up helping out the building management sweeping water off of the roofs because they were fermented pools of water and garbage.

5. You can be as loud as you want and it doesn't matter.

6. No one else speaks english all around you.

7. Your car is broken into and old sandels are taken.

8. The cockroaches are so bold as to just cling to the walls on the outside of the apartments in full daylight.

9. You watch people use the ground outside as the garbage can.

10. When people are going door to door selling corn on the cob, cd's, and miscelanious other crap.

[Sleeper-Z]

haha, my house/neighborhood is 80% of that! oh well a couple of good things about living in the ghetto.

 

can do whatever the hell you want, work on cars, have misc. crappy cars sitting around on the street (except for one time my old 4runner got towed), have a air compressor/welder/shop in the garage and neighbors dont complain. but you always have those guys that come around at all times of night blasting and bassing their music.

 

although i did have one neighbor complain about my old z, she said i was revving it and making noise. little did she know, i was just trying to get her to keep an idle without dying.

 

it should be a cycle though, back in the day, it was a nice neighborhood, now ghetto, maybe it'll be nice again! one day...

[Gollum]

Our neightborhood is pretty awsome now by comparison. We use to have monthly drive bys, no biggie.

 

The best was our house getting egged and then a car window shot at, all because my sister is a teacher! And not a single teacher got to flunk a student that semester because of the aministration (it makes the school look good on paper).

 

Ok, i'll contribute my list of things.

 

1. When your lawnmower walks off in the middle of the night... from your backyard.

2. When the neighbor down the street waves to you while mowing his lawn...

3. When mower is thus returned the next night... ^

4. When neighbors have a shoot out over a tyson fight.

5. When a cop stops at a house with a guy working on his car, and the cop busts out his tool kit.

6. When the won't go after a thief that's within eyeshot.

7. When there's grass growing inside the house.

8. When the cops show up and take the 'grass' away but just park up the street.

9. Your neighbors dog gets killed via gun shot.... buy swat.

10. Your neighbot painted his own car... with house paint.

11. If the local bums have gold teeth caps.

12. If kids on motorised scooters are faster than your car...

13. If kid on motorised scooter kills himself, without hitting anything.

14. If neighbors complain because your party didn't leave them room for them to get out of thier driveway at 2am.

15. If a guy walking the street with bloody pants look at you and says "bloody nose yo."

 

 

Yea, my area is so much better now though. I can't remember the last time I actually heard about anything bad going down in my area. Lots of rich people moving in from out of state since the real estate market jumped.

[innerware]

Forgot to add.

 

11. When a full half keg of beer walks off between noon and 12:10 on a Saturday when we were still drinking from it. It was on the back deck and we were just inside the house.

[BrandonsZ]

Forgot to add.

 

11. When a full half keg of beer walks off between noon and 12:10 on a Saturday when we were still drinking from it. It was on the back deck and we were just inside the house.

 

Check behind the bleachers in your local park (just don't go there at night).

[BrandonsZ]

We got it easy, at least our roaches don't hiss or fly! But yeah those buggers climb the walls to avoid the half starving stray cats.

[b__sosick]

a full half keg?

 

is it full or is it half full?

 

 

WE SHALL NEVER KNOWWWWWWWW.

 

 

Yeah I live in a ghetto, and have had hundreds of hundreds of dollars worth of crap stole.

and some idiot spray painted a tree once.

[dr_hunt]

It wasn't even half full, oops, well I heard anyway, burp, uh, yeah.

[b__sosick]

HAHA

 

 

durnk

[innerware]

It was full. We had two half kegs and went through one the following night and only just tapped it that afternoon. Those things aren't light. And we had no music on and the windows were open. It was like aliens beamed it up or something.

[grumpyvette]

my old neighborhood/.

(1)next door neighbor arrested for

selling drugs (THREE TIMES) finally,

got seroius jail time! only after punching a detective.and attemping to shoot him

 

(2)gunshots usually mean drug or whore dispute over money

 

(3)cars racing down streets at 2am almost nightly

 

(4) cars stolen almost weekly, calling cops is a waste of time

 

(5)muggings of old people fairly frequent

 

(6) partys are not comon and parking problems are cause for fights

 

(7)comon conversation is about who got arrested lately

 

(9) people try to avoid each other, I knew 3 people on my block after 20 plus years, not getting serious jail time when your guilty is a STATUS SYMBOL

 

(10)having a fenced yard is ODD

 

my new neighborhood/

 

(1)neighbor has 6 horses,5 large dogs and carries a pistol in a hip holster and everyone considers it normal, in fact almost everyone has a shotgun in their trucks rear window(even the women)

 

(2)gunshots normally mean raccoons in the trash or gators in the yard

 

(3)almost everyone drives slowly and cautiously in large 4x4 trucks

 

(4) anyone "not from around here" gets pulled over and asked if thier (LOST, then told to LEAVE, if they can,t explain exactly WHY there there. and WHO called them) by BOTH cops and neighbors,tend to follow,non-resident cars, and wave and talk to locals,non-locals licence plates get photographed,calls get made if they look suspicious

 

(5)robberys very rare! muggings are almost unheard of

 

(6)bar-b-ques and partys are weekly affairs and damn near everyones invited

 

(7) comon conversations about whos buying/trading, what truck or horse

 

(9) trucks and cars RARELY pass each other without pausing and exchanging small talk, guys riding horses vs driving are comon, owning a BACKHOE or BULLDOZER is a STATUS SYMBOL

 

(10) your considered (ODD) if your fenced 5 acre MINIMUM yard does not have several large dogs

[Gollum]

Sounds like you new place is a nice little town in the sticks grumpyvette. But that's not a bad thing really.

 

A person on my street got a ticket for parking on the street between 8am-5pm due to street sweep (it's odd that a cop even came by to give the ticket) and then the street sweeper never came by....... Wow... I would take THAT to court.

[dr_hunt]

Well, I have two houses, so we'll go with the one in town first.

 

You know your in beaner ghetto when;

 

1. the monte's and impala's have chrome or gold wire spoke wheels that cost twice as much as the car they are on.

 

2. Nobody wears a shirt or pants, just boxers with a gold chain around the neck, many tatoos, must be cool. I'm not cool, so don't go there.

 

3. Police come down the street with siren's on 3 or 4 times a night all weekend long.

 

4. Mexican music plays loudly all night long even when they are all passed out.

 

5. Whaaassssssuuuupppp is on the menu at the mexican restaurant.

 

6. Everyone calls you "Bro" even if your white.

 

7. Instead of trying to race you the lowriders pull up next to you and want to have jumping contests.

 

The house in the boonies where I spend 85% of my time.

1. I know all the neighbors for 40 miles in any direction and they number less than 30.

 

2. The only music I hear is the elk bugeling in the fall, had one doing it tonight, or coyotes.

 

3. There is never a party and the bar here is called the "NO SCUM ALLOWED SALOON"!!!!

 

4. Nobody races except on horses

 

5. The cops don't come out here, even if I need them.