DavyZ Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Cripes, did I have a shocker last night and I was NOT in the mood for it. So, ye ask me, "Prey you, Davy, how doeth this relate to yon Z cars?" Well, I was logging in to hybridz.org at the time and... My wife had gone "shopping" for a few hours while I watched the 5 youngsters last night. All seemed to be calm and cozy so I slipped into my bedroom where I keep the computer to log into my favorite site (no, not that one, this one!). Shortly thereafter, a strange smell wafted about when the heater came on. "What be that strange smell?" I asked myself rhetorically. I wandered about the house and came to the family room where we basically 'confine' the 11 month old baby girlie. To my horror, she had somehow reached in her diaper and pulled out a number of "nuggets" or "marbles" (but not the kind you play with). She, however, had played with them in unsatisfactory ways. I openly delared my faith when I said, "God, I hope that's not poo!!!!" There was poo on her little face, poo smeared on clothes, poo encrusted on her little hands, poo encrusted on her little feet.....and I was quickly able to deduce where those poo foot prints came from that were all over the room, the pillows, the throw rug, and the fireplace hearth. This was a two person clean up job for sure! I grabbed the baby and held her away from me, but she managed to put the poo foot on my black (now black and brown) pants as well as my belt. I calmly placed the child in the bath where I stripped her down and hosed her down with soap and warm water. By enlisting the help of my other older kids, I was able to get the baby in her crib while sorting out what to do with the state of the room before my wife came back from shopping. Fortunately we had some pet stain remover that I liberally applied to the carpeting and everything else I could not throw into the washing machine. I let the stains and all soak while I regained my sanity and waited for the wife to come home. After 3 hours, she finally did---it was 10 PM. "Honey, I have a present for you! I'm about to rent carpet cleaning equipment tonight and I'm cleaning the carpet for you." She understood when she peered into the room... I dashed over to Safeway to rent a Rug Doctor and the related equipment when, while I was there, they decided to shut down the registers for 10 minutes (more like 20 minutes) to do their midnight accounting. I thought this to be stupid since it was only nearing 11 PM (I had wasted time in the magazine isle reading Car Craft you see) and now I would have to wait. The funny thing is, the customer service desk was closed and I had to wait in some loooong lines in the regular isle to pay after they wrote me up. After coming back home I made sure I had an adult beverage before embarking in the cleanup duties. I swear (I'm not making this up) it took me almost two hours to get everything cleaned up and normalized. The bad part is that I logged back into HybridZ.org at about 1:30 AM and read the post someone made about those giant sandwiches (wife was taking a turn at the machine by then) and I was hungry! After eating, I was in bed by about 2 AM. I had work that morning--this morning actually--but hey, my carpet was clean and I gave my wife a Christmas present! LOL! At least I'm laughing about it today... Davy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gollum Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 The good news is that you're already laughing about it. That's a good sign your sanity is still intact. Probly damaged, but intact. I once babysitted a kid that got real sick in the middle of the night with a bad flu and had diarrhea and couldn't control himself. I spent all night cleaning up puke and other stuff. The worst part was getting sick 2 days later from it and then in turn my whole family getting sick. I don't really laugh about it, but mostly becuase it doesn't seem like a big deal. I think back about it and I think "I only got paid $20 for that..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZROSSA Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Davy, You tell a great story. My wife any I have been through many forms of poo art over the last few years. Now the kids are 4 and 6 and are a bit past that now, However another one is due in March. I had kind of forgoten about all that. Guess I had better get used to it again. Happy X-mas, Douglas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pop N Wood Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Three words: Little Green Machine. Saved my marriage I kid you not. Also sounds like you got off easy. In my house the lecture about leaving the 11 month old alone that long would have outlasted the clean up job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auxilary Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Dave, I have great news for you! I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikelly Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Oh CRAP!!! Literally! That was an AWESOME story! Kids indeed do the DARNDEST things. Smell what she was cookin'? Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavyZ Posted December 23, 2005 Author Share Posted December 23, 2005 Also sounds like you got off easy. In my house the lecture about leaving the 11 month old alone that long would have outlasted the clean up job. Hey, I didn't leave her alone *LOL* I left her with the 7 year old! Yeah, I did get off easy, but notice how I played my cards right and offered to clean up the carpets! You young guys take notes. Davy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auxilary Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 LOL, you left Ethan in charge of the baby? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavyZ Posted December 23, 2005 Author Share Posted December 23, 2005 LOL, you left Ethan in charge of the baby? Actually, yes I did! He was caught up in a book while safely on the couch and must have not noticed the smeared fudge all over the place. I get to have this day off work and help the wife with a buttload of errands, cleaning (did I mention the amount of laundry I'm responsible for now?), and cooking. Good thing there is a party tonight we can run off to Davy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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