For all my Floridian Hybrid Z'ers

[S30TRBO]

I moved to Florida when I was 2 from Western NY and lived there until I turned 18 and joined the military. My family is still there and I visit but I know you true Floridians can relate to this and if not it's still damn funny, yet so true:

 

You know you're a Floridian if....

 

• Socks are only for bowling.

 

• You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

 

• A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

 

• Your winter coat is made of denim.

 

• You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

 

• You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

 

• Anything under 70 is chilly.

 

• You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

 

• You could swim before you could read.

 

• You have to drive north to get to The South.

 

• You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

 

• Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

 

• You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

 

• You dread love bug season.

 

• You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

 

• You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

 

• You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.

 

• 'Down South' means Key West.

 

• You think New York driver’s licenses should only be valid in New York.

 

• Flip-flops are everyday wear.

 

• Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

 

• Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

 

• An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

 

• You smirk when a game show's 'Grand Prize' is a trip or cruise to Florida.

 

• You measure distance in minutes.

 

• You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

 

• You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

 

• A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

 

• You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

 

• You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

 

• It's not soda, cola, or pop. It's coke, regardless of brand or flavor, 'What kinda coke you want?'

 

• Anything under 95 is just warm.

 

• You've hosted a hurricane party.

 

• You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. (Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)

 

• You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

 

• You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Itchitucknee , Withlacoochee and Micanopy.

 

• You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than to own a boat yourself.

 

• Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.

 

• You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.

 

• You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

 

• You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

 

• You recognize Miami-Dade as ' Northern Cuba '.

[Jeff]

• You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Itchitucknee , Withlacoochee and Micanopy.

 

So you mean everyone doesn't know how to pronounce those?

[jeffer949]

Lol ive only lived here for like 5.5 years and those things are SO true. Its the start of love bug season...... man i hate those little critters

[JSM]

Can relate to almost all of those. I've been in FL since I was 18 months old, now almost 39.

 

After Charlie, we get out of the State now. Nothing like a forced vacation.

[speeder]

As a native Floridian I can say that's an excellent list!

 

One of the finest experiences ever is tubing down the Itchitucknee.

 

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you (and on my truck) include: Go Gators!

[BayAreaZT]

Good stuff. I've only been here a month and I can relate to almost all of those either first hand or from stories people have told me.

[S30TRBO]

Great responses thus far. BTW I grew up in Port St. Lucie.

[Guest loudzigen]

haha, born and still here in miami, #3 is so true lol

[cygnusx1]

Been there a few times but I can really relate to the New York drivers license thing. I think the New York license should be banned everywhere and I'm from NY. On the other hand there is nothing worse than encountering a Florida plate on the twisty backroads of NY. It's about as funny as it get's watching the driver learn what the steering wheel and brakes are really for. Can you say: "20mph in a 45mph". Ughhh it's painfully slow. Honestly, they are afraid of curves and dips in the road.

[ShaggyZ]

I only lived there from 2005-2006 and I know all that stuff quite well. I was in Orlando. It's strange how none of it seemed strange to me until I moved back to Austin and thought back on it. I actually lived in Kissimmee and commuted via Econlockhatchee Trail, avoiding the alligators and old folks, nearly every day.

 

Good times....

[cooks240z]

Lol.

[JSM]

I say this everytime to my wife and experienced it first hand again recently, but when coming back into FL on the return trip, people get stupid.

 

I don't know if people are excited to be in FL or what, but courtesy and common sense go out the window.

 

They completely forget how to get out of the fast lane, drive slow and make dumb decsisions. No other state that I've driven is as bad as FL.

 

I look forward to driving outside of FL when on vacation. I loved driving in Chicago, I fit right in w/ the taxi drivers!