MusPuppis

Years back I bought this little '73 Fairlady.. The next two years of my life were spent in a hell of broken and failing parts. It still doesnt run =/ Actual mechanical issue.. Hm, double ringed the oil filter on my 302HO swapped F-150 on the virgin start-up. Oil everywhere but we noticed right away, so no damage or revving thank goodness. Was changing the plugs on a buddies N/A 3000gt and you have to pull the manifold apart some to get to them, long story short, I drop a plastic clip down one of the lower intake runners and cant get it out. I figure.. well, its plastic, lets hope it gets destroyed! That was a year and a half ago, 21k miles later the car runs just fine *shrug* Mounted the ECU in the Festy so the wiring rubbed a metal bracket, severed like 9 wires, who knows why we didnt set anything on fire. Took us a very very very long time to figure out why the damn thing wasnt running worth a ♥♥♥♥, wouldnt idle and couldnt be driven. Ha. I have to replace the water pump on the SHO today so its ready for the new owner this weekend.. so stay tuned for a horror story. =/

No it doesnt run and wont for a few years to come. Just gonna sit on it until I can dump real money and time in to this car and make it what I really want it to be and not some compromised version. Got the car when i was 16, drove it MAYBE 3 months out of the next year (not at a stretch either, lol) and its been down ever since. Great huh?

Yeah I know what ya mean, getting used to this little thing is gonna take some time, till then I hope I dont go ditch diving.. Hitting that pedal is addicting though I'm having trouble keeping myself from doing it EVERY TIME I have to accel. We're overboosting a little which also has me worried.. about 17-18psi. need to get the manual boost controller hooked up and dial the boost in around 16psi. Its a shame, I gotta spend all day today getting a new fuel pump and water pump on the SHO, not gonna be able to work on the Fester.

Oh, haha, we also found an electric defroster that weighs MAYBE 5 pounds, so before long I'm gonna pull the dash out, gut the hell out of and junk the heater core.. Muwhahaha. Maybe if I'm lucky I can squeeze 10-15 more pds out of the car. Didnt I read somewhere its like 7pds = almost 1 hp? Hell yeah! I'll take 1.3-2hp gain for free!

Sure, I'll see if I can give a basic run-down of our costs. Festiva .......................................................650$* Capri/323 (donor car) ........................................1100$** FMIC ...........................................................80$ w. Shipping ....................................................25$ Piping ........................................................120$ w. Shipping ....................................................50$ Reich Racing ECU ..............................................235$ w. Shipping ....................................................15$ Corksport DP ..................................................250$ w. Shipping ....................................................70$ ACT 4 Puck Clutch .............................................300$ w. Shipping ....................................................40$ Radiator***** .................................................150$ Metal for Motor Mounts and assorted this' and thats ...........175$ Walbro 255 .....................................................90$ w. Shipping ....................................................10$ Manual Boost controller ........................................30$ w. Shipping ....................................................10$ Boost Gauge ....................................................20$ Tach ...........................................................80$*** Temp Gauge .....................................................20$ Misc. .........................................................450$**** Ibuprofen .......................................................5$ Bible - Free at the hotel you'll be staying at when your wife kicks you out of the house for cussing and hitting things in front of your children, neighbors and in-laws. Total ........................................................3975$ * We over paid, it took us FOREVER to find a damn Festiva. A J/Y Chasis with title will be fine, you need next to nothing from the car itself the car itself. ** That was our cost. we paid 800$ for the car but had to drive to New York to pick it up, then drive it back, lol. You can do better than our cost. Buying a complete, running car is important if you can help it, you need the motor, tranny, wiring, relays, axles, and if you want the rims and tires, and a number of other things, one complete car wil save you a headache and several trips to the J/Y. *** Thats the cost of a big giant tach and its worth it, you need your eyes on the road in this car, not looking at a little tiny ass gauge. Shift lights are your friend. **** Misc simply refers to all the extra crap thats hard to tally up. Wire, butt connectors, heat shrink tubing, solder, tune-up and oil change junk, the silicon step-down for the I/C piping to the turbo, crap to clean your engine bay, and on and on. ***** Just what radiator you use is up to you. Mount the engine and take your measurements, then just go J/Ying. Our radiator is a mystery unit we found on the floor of a radiator shop and had modified to work, no idea what its out of, haha. Also, please note all shipping prices are approx. and your prices may vary considerably. The list is a very basic one as far as prices go but it gives an upper-end cost estimate for anyone interested in the swap. With some careful shopping, patience and wheeling and dealing you can come in several hundred lower than we did in cost. With some luck and patience I think you could manage this swap for as little as 3300-3400$. A 12 second car for less than 3500$ aint bad! One thing I did not list was rims and tires. The festiva's stockers WILL NOT WORK. Lemme say that again, WILL NOT WORK. I mean, they fit, but put it this way. We're running with a performance tire literally twice as wide on a rim twice as heavy and 2in larger and we can spin through third if we dont peddle it.. Festiva rims and tires are a fantastic way to waste your time and power by spinning through, oh I dunno, 5th. This list is also based on doing the work all yourself ans assumes you have the tools and space available. Other than your usual hand tools you need a welder, GOOD measureing devices, a decent workbench and various metal working tools along the lines of a chop saw, cut-off wheel, etc, soldering iron and some patience.

Very sharp car, I love it. Not a fan of the big ass cowls but it looks mean as hell with that air damn and all blacked out like that.. Is that an Iwata I see in one of the shots of it being painted?

I got to drive it today for the first time and we got a couple little video's. Still nothing great, I hope to have some flat out race shots before long, but that will likely be this weekend when 2Fast2Festy hits the streets in the "big" (I use that term comparativly) city and we cart it around to the large amount of poeple we've told about the project but that didnt beleive us, haha. I have to honestly say though, out of everything Ive driven and ridden in, which includes a fair number of vehicles faster than the Fester will every likely be, this one scares me more than any other. Most of its the suspension right now, which Bryan is handeling at the end of this month, new struts, springs, rotors, pads, rear sway, front strut bar, etc, but when you dig the pedal the car is a monster, it will not stay straight and you have to fight it with everything you have to keep it on the road, which is quite fun, but dangerous. The thing is so small, loud and whiny though that you REALLY feel like your in a go-cart, its insane. Little info on the first video. Thats me driving, first time in the car, first launch and never been behind a 4 puck that was that annoying, so my launch is just... um, trash! I didnt hook at all in first and only a tiny bit in second, didnt actually grab the pavement at WOT until third and thats when I start to walk away. Now, the follow car is a '93 Mustang w. 70mm MAF, TB, CAI, Underdrive, Shortys, H-Pipe, No cats, big mufflers, timing pushed forward, short throw, 3.73's, .30 over and a few other odds and ends.. Its good for about a 13.7-9 consistently with Bob driving. He spun in first some but caught second without a problem. Bryan is filming and has the camera zoomed all the way in, so its tought to tell just how bad I left him, but I was pulling HARD all the way, even spinning like an idiot.. ha. I think with our slicks on it and one person in the car we are looking very close to our target times of higher 12's with a decent launch. The rims we have up front are a hindrance though and will be replaced, heavy heavy heavy heavy. Oh, the second head in the Festy is my girlfriend, she happened to be with me, ha. All she managed to do when I got on it was make a high pitched squealing sound, then she looked at me and just said "♥♥♥♥ John you werent kidding". Then we had some sex, but that was later. YukYuk. http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c53/damein17/festiva/?action=view&current=MOV01480.flv http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c53/damein17/festiva/?action=view&current=MOV01478.flv http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c53/damein17/festiva/?action=view&current=MOV01477.flv Couple pics so you can see how odd this thing really looks.. Oh, we have to buy another back bumper, the car hit a pole long before we owned it and we had it on the frame rack to get the ass pulled out properly, we got it pulled but the bumper was toast. Stock festy rims on the back, Capri XR2 rims from the swap donor up front. Soon they get moved to the rear with our spacers and the Capri rims with the drag slicks get put up front. ha.

If it just didnt look so HORRIBLE.. But yeah, that is crazy. I dont care how old the other car is, the Yellowbird is a MEAN car, evil fast and that Veyron just walks.. hell friggen RUNS by it. Sigh. Im gonna go buy one. right now.

VIDEOS! http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c53/damein17/festiva/?action=view&current=MOV01451.flv http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c53/damein17/festiva/?action=view&current=MOV01452.flv http://s25.photobucket.com/albums/c53/damein17/festiva/?action=view&current=MOV01450.flv Watch the cow take off... hahahahaha, and that launch was bogged in first and 3/4 peddle, no WOT and shifting at 5k

Yes sir, or maam, whutevah! I got the phone call from Bryan today saying they figured out the fuel issue we were having (bad FPR). We've had it in the shop at school all this week fighting with it and trying to track down the STUPID little gremlins and yesterday we took a major step. Turns out the wiring under the dash from the Capri ECU was rubbing a metal plate we couldnt see, and it had eatin through several wires, we're lucky we didnt set fire to the damn thing. We also had to tap in to the wire for the ECT sensor at the ECU and run it all by its lonesome, the other wire somehow disappeared.. Dont ask me how, but it was flat out gone, LOL. Once that was accomplished we cranked it over and it started up after a few tries and idled like a DREAM! I mean, aside from sounding like a lawn mower that is.. But its supposed to sound that way, so.. *shrug*. But all of a sudden *poof* it died and we couldnt get it to restart at all. The day was close to over so we didnt get it worked out and I wasnt able to come to school today, so I had to leave the tail end of the project in Bryan's hands. I got the call though! They did a little quick fix to the fuel return line to test the FPR and it started up and purred like a.. Well, ok, a lawn mower. He took it out and did some very light driving in it and took a couple poeple for some rides, just half pulls, nothing over 5k RPM's and no hammering on it, but lemme tell you, according to him there are some IMPRESSED poeple in Somerset right now. Its killin me though, it finally ran after I devoted s much time to it doing all the fab work and all the wiring and test fits and fighting and kicking and trouble shooting and screaming (literally.. lol) and I wasnt there for its maiden voyage.. I cant get to the car until Monday either, sigh. Its killin me! Bryan said the throttle responce is just amazing and his harder pulls will snap your neck back. It'll roast em clear through 3rd if he hammers ir from a roll and first gear doesnt exist for traction.. This is running very new, nice tires on the Capri's 14in. 6-ish inch wide (dont remember off-hand) tires. We have some 8in drag slicks to put on. haha. The car still has some issues, bryan relayed as much of them to me as possible and I'll see about getting them worked out Monday. The car is boosting too high.. He said its climbing to 16 psi just fine (where it should be running max boost) but then it spikes up to 18-19 and that little turbo wont take much of that before it craps out on us. We're running open DP and its my understanding that that can cause a spike in boost on occasion. We need to get the boost controller hooked up and turn the boost down to 10 or 12 for now anyway, until we get all the bugs worked and see how everything works, less stress is a good thing right now, lol. we also have to button the wiring up.. We have some temporary wiring happening for test purposes and its not safe, pretty or.. well, safe. We also have to put the front of the car together, no bumper, no cover, no hood, lol. we need to buy a real temp gauge at some point to and hook the alternator up properly, replace the FPR, clean and organize it all.. lol, still some work before its "done" but its driving and drivable! HAHAHAHAHAH. Bryan took some video's and hes gonng send em to me when he gets home, Ill find a place to host em and post later tonight. For those un-familiar with what Im talking about, this is a 93 Ford Festiva with a Mazda B6T and its native tranny and axles swapped in, FMIC w. 2.25in piping all around, TOTALLY gutted, 4 puck, 16psi, deleted intake elbow, HARD motor mounts, Reich Racing ECU, Corksport 2.5in DP w. seperate WG pipe that dumps back into the DP a few feet down and other assorted odds and ends here and there. The end result is something like 220hp (we hope) and with all the weight lightening, a sub 2000 pound car with DRIVER AND GAS. We should be good for a higher 12 second 1/4 assuming traction and me learning to drive. Nitrous is planned for the summer, and with that and some other little tid-bits we could very well see 11's IF traction is possible at all. Im getting ahead of myself there of course, but the potential in this little P.O.S. is just amazing. I have to thank Ulises for posting vids of his car to inspire and show me this even existed and for answering A LOT of my stupid questions along the way to getting this done. Some of the build pics for those that havent seen em:

Actually.. I think it is.

Yup, Ultima Online. As fine a game as will ever exist and finer far than most could ever hope to be. Warcrack is fun, but nothing sinks its hooks in like Ultima.. I cant complain though, I put ALOT more time into that than I should have but I made a stedy side living off the game for a couple years. When Powerscrolls and Artifacts were released I quit my job. I was pulling about 1000$ a month all told from them, not a plush living but it worked! When I finally left and liquidated my two main accounts and arty whore warrior and SDI arty slut mage I sold a little over 2100$ in crap on ebay. BUddy of mine who played with me just got DSL out in bumble ♥♥♥♥ somehow or another and reactivated his account, ha. Hes relapsing. I would be to, only with WoW but I dont have an internet connection except on the weekends and I spend most of those with my girl.. Whenever she dumps me look to see me back online every waking second of the day, neglecting my car(s) and gaining 20 pds from drinking vault and eating crap made of sugar and coffee to keep myself awake for those all night, all day, all morning, all week PvP excursions. I am such a nerd and I suck.. I just know I do.

Update if anyone cares! Well, the SHO is in color and clear finally and it doesnt look half bad honestly. Doesnt look half good either.. Now, this was a rushed, smash and grab kinda deal.. Gary gave me two days and my budget was essentially nill. I had to make do with extra's, left overs and what little I could afford (one quart) t get the car done. Why am I rushed? Money. I found a buyer for the car, but it had to be in color and it had to be done ASAP. I'm getting evicted here in a couple days and money is just non-existent. I work 40 hours a week and go to school 40 hours a week but my bills got so far behind cause of family BS these last two months.. well, Im toast, so the SHO has to GO, like yesterday. Honestly though, I gave it my all, quick job or not. The color is a black I tinkered around with and mixed that I like, its about equal parts black pearl (Like on the Z! I bought a pint. haha), standard black and weak black. The result is a 'wet' lighter looking black with a littl silver pearl in the base, just a tiny bit, not enough to milk the finish like it sort of does on the Black Pearl 280's (unless their in great light) but it does liven it up.. Then I sprayed 3 coats of good old Omni clear! In the first coat though I mixed a butt-load of Copper Pearl, as i sprayed the first clear coat containting the pearl I went over the car evenly, then angled and gun and spayed along the upper body lines, fender tops, etc, all the way around the car, the result is that the pearl is thicker here, but fades down the side of the car, its a subtle effect, but I know its there and I like it. The copper pearl looks sharp over the black. The paint is WAY WAY WAY away from good though. I had so little material to spray the whole car with the bottoms of the front and rear bumper are crazy thin and honestly, the spoiler needed more work before it was painted. Two runs in the clear thanks to having to stretch it out (very little material again) and lightly reduce it. I sanded them out, but as the clear shrunk over the next few days they popped back up a little, gonna hit them again this week I think. All in all, I give myself a D, but given the circumstances, budget and time frame, I think a B- sounds fair, LOL. Oh, in a little turn of irony.. The guy is bringing me atleast half the money this weekend as a non-refundable deposit on the car, possibly all of it, hes working out finances, and I drive to school this morning and smell anti-freeze.. Pop the hood and see smoke.. do some poking around, WATER PUMP (smoke was from the anti-freeze dripping on a cat converter)! YAY! practically on the eve of it being sold to.. Funny huh? If it aint one thing right now its another.. I stop leaked the little son of a bitch and it should hold till he gives me half the money, then Ill get a new water pump with that and put it on for him. Honestly, I thin its just an odd little leak though.. No shaft play in the pump and the bearing isnt 'acting' like it has a problem. Of course I know that doesnt count for much, but.. well, I dunno! Still replacing it either way, but I think its safe for me to drive for the time being. Ill get some pics as soon as I get a sunny day and have a camera.. Turns out my brand new digi cam got busted some how.. Someone dropped it, set something on it, dunno, but I loaded it up over the weekend to get some pics and.. well, shes toast.

I just took my pants off and pooped on the steps of the Somerset Library.. So yeah, your right, poeple will do anything for attention.. Someone please love me, I am ever so lonely.. Har har.

Used to be called Mouse as a joke by some guys I worked with.. When I work I dont talk, I just.. well, work, so they started saying I was quiet as a mouse, and eventualy it sort of stuck with em I guess.. So I started using "Mouse" and MouseFairlady, etc, as logins and such. Mouse is pretty often taken, so after some thinking I came up with Mus Puppis, which is simply "Mouse Poop" in latin. *shrug*

Hook a brutha up dewd! lol. HotImport, Poeple do what they want to enjoy themselves. I game as a means of stress releif. I ♥♥♥♥ all over the populace of the game Im playing cause it makes me smile. *shrug*. Yeah, Blizzard is grind oriented but for the folks that will do it, chances are they enjoy themselves in some way. I see no reason to knock it. IMO UO (preprepperperperperpepreprperp patch) is the best there ever was or will be. Non gear dependant, totally skill/player oriented, no levels only skills, completely open world.. It was game sex.. Just kinda ugly graphics.

On the account I'm currently sitting on and debating playing again (I am trying so hard not to.. lol) Atrophied - 58 Warrior Atrophyd - 26 Rogue Horde on Illidan. I hve a couple meaningless alts on other servers below level 20 and the account I sold was all based on Illidan. Im giving some thought to starting over on a new server though.. I dont care for the guild landscape on Illidan and I dont really want to play a warrior, so its giving me some food for thought as to starting over on a new server.. Dunno if I wanna go mage or what, but I'll likely be horde no matter what simply because I know the quests and maps better. I wouldnt mind a paladin, I hear with Burning Retard..., I mean Crusade, Horde can do that, but i cant swing the 40$. Dunno though. I tried a hunter and didnt like it, rogues are nice but WAY to gear dependant and simplistic.. Mages seem capable and useful. A shadow preist, once upon a time, was one bad-ass PvPer.. dunno how they roll any more, but a preist would be way different than my usual toons. Shammys are fun, but I played my60 to death and just dont wanna play one any more. Undead mage sounds tempting. Actually after poking around some I think I'll be going Undead Preist, Shadow specced. I get a kick out of the idea of getting in to a group and waiting till we're in the instance to say "Oh yeah, so, I dont heal so well, but I do more damage than you weasels, kthx" and I get a serious kick out of killing poeple on a healing class, that and the DoT's are frustraing and cheesy, which is a REAL point in their favor.. I mean, if I cant actually grief, I need to come as close as WoW will let me, and other than paladins, who dont grief by killing, they just get anoying because you have to kill them bout 9 times before they actually friggin die, I dont see much in the way of a grief class. See, in UO I had a scribe/hide mage. Pre pre pre pre patch that meant I could insta hide right in front of someone practically and scribe beefed my defenses heavily.. So I was a ganking, running, hiding, kiting, teleporting, killing, stealing, looting, pet dragging, blocking, 1 on 10, naked, black sandled, llama riding, purple haired bastard,. Oh the good old days. had a disarm thief to, designed simply to never die, looked exactly like my mage, same name to so ya just never knew what flavor was comin to the party.. but chances were good it wasnt a party crasher you wanted. sigh. See? I take this ♥♥♥♥ too seriously.

Pepe isnt a horndog, hes a rapist, ha. Funny little bugger but clearly a sexual predator. Ill bet he has to register. My fav? So tough.. New era, I love Stewie and Peter.. cant go wrong with Family Guy.. Old school? I dunno, BUgs was pretty hard core, I mean, the guy was the meanest, most cold hearted dude ever. Speed Racer is a closet homosexual IMO. He looks way too young to drive to, I'll bet the NAMBLA guys get a kick out of him though *shudder*. Same goes for the Johnny Quest gang, those guys were up to something.. As to individual cartoons.. Does anyone remember a WB from way back with a big ass bulldog monster and a little tiny kitten? The dog tried to take care of it and keep it safe.. That ♥♥♥♥ was COMEDY.

Yeah, luckily I cant afford it, so thats a little less in the way of a healthy life for now. On a plus note a bud of mine has been playing my old account, I had no idea.. got my warrior to 58 and has him well geared for that level.. hoorah. Hes also done some AV grinding which saves me the time and trouble. Senior Sergant, so pushing for the uppers will be a tad quicker, IF I manage to get re-immursed, ya never know.

Hope its ok to post requesting info on another forum.. I'm looking for a good forum with a good community based around Trans-Am's/Firebirds/F-Bodys in general, specificly the LT1 cars. Now, google.com can give me the links but I dont have experience with the poeple or community on these random forums and was just curious if we have any folks here who know of a good forum to poke around in. I ask because I'm giving very serious thought to buying a Trans-Am in late february. Still looking at a number of cars, 1st gen DSM's being one of them, but for my 4k-ish budget the Trans-Ams are looking pretty stout. I posted about one a little while ago asking opinions and such and I've been talking to the guy, who is indeed a lunatic, but we may have come to an agreement price-wise on the car if he still has it in about 4-5 weeks, crazy as he is I like his car.. lol. I'd get it with about 1200 to spare, maybe a tad more, and if I sell my SHO around the same time I'll have something like 2600-2700$ total to put in to it.. Which will get me the ram air setup his doesnt have and either paint it or get me everything I need to 6 speed swap it, which I actually do remains to be seen. If my projected budget holds out at all remains to be seen, lol. Anyway, just wondering, I need to do some research and such.

How fast could a little N/A 4 banger really be? Dont get me wrong, I know you can do some radical stuff with em but after a certain point you get something thats undriveable and non functional for any real street driving.. So unless hes running one crazy build and its essentially drag-only I wouldnt think there would be THAT much trouble in the car. Hell, find a Zer with something really nasty under the hood and set that race up.. Someone lend me a 125 shot of nitrous and I'll run him in my SHO.. hahaha.

haha. Yeah, when I was actually playing I had an assload of crap but I sold everything that was soulbound to a vendor, pooled my gold and mats and gave em to some of the guys that were still playing when I left. I also sold my second account with my 60's, so all I currently have is a lv 52(?) warrior, who if Im not mistaken is comletely naked except a Lord Alexanders Battle Axe and blank guild tabard. I think I have a rogue and druid somewhere in their 30's.. but screw that, with the new level cap I'll be damnded if I'm starting that young. I'll respec Atrophied and see what I can accomplish. I like hitting poeple in the face with a big ass axe anyway, something terribly satisfieing about throwing finesse to the wind and just smashing poeple in the mouth. Sadly you cant greif in WoW like you could in Shadowbane and UO.. Sigh.

This doesnt look good.. Downloading the WoW client since my CD's are elsewhere. Gonna reactivate tonight after work and play a little bit.. Ayone else play Illidan? (PvP or nuthin baby) If so, mail Atrophied some gold, haha, im broke.!

Its long, sorry. Its quickly written and the spelling, errors and general mess are actually intended. Few were done on purpose but the idea is a general feeling and flow in relation to the events Im ranting about and the style Im ranting in. Of note is the fact its true and not really dramatized much at all. Just a rant on a crappy crappy week before school started, today being my first day back! So, lets talk ego? I have one. You have one, we all do. Some are larger than others. Some are so damn big they preceed the person they belong to and in a fair number of those cases ownership goes the opposite way. I am not one of these poeple, but I do have pride, i am confident in my ability to handle certain things and situations and it does manage to get me pretty well fucked up on average of once or twice in a typical week. 3 or 4 times if im drinking, maybe only once if I'm under house arrest.. But it happens.. deary me it happens. Lets talk about my week shall we? So, Im sitting with my girlfriend and we're discussing the deeper meaning and social undertones to.. um, so, I wanted to sound smart but I got nothin, I think we were watching skinimax porn and giggling like loonies cause that ♥♥♥♥ is comedy, grade A beleive me. If your a watcher for purpose and pleasure, please oh please tell me how you can stop laughing at these poeple long enough to handle the dong, I honestly want to know. Seroously. But, back to the point, Ok, so were slightly inebriated and laughing like an alzhiemers paitent stuck in the 40's and remembering Vaudville or something and I notice my throat is a little scratchy. Not like dry scratchy, but that ominous itch the preceeds something really nasty, like the flu. Since it just so happens to be flu season I should be worried right? I should take precautions and hit the doctor, or buy some FluEaze or whatever the fork its called. I should take precautions. I know what your thinking a responsible adult (quasi adult anyway) should do and I swear i did exactly that, if you were thinking a responsible adult should grab another beer, say nothing and keep laughing at cheap porn, than we ARE SO ON THE SAME PAGE. Cause p'ahtnah, dats what I dun dun, dunny. Now why on earth would I play so fast and loose with my own health? Why? Because Im a goddamn tank. I'm wrapped in kevlar studded with used uranium backed by titanium and surrounded by pissed off snipers on Adoral, with nothing to do. Nothing gets past me. Seriously. I can shake off a bad case of death by coughing once and eating a cough drop. I am iron clad. Flu season? I laugh at flu I laugh. I get it every year, my throat will itch, I'll cough like twice and almost feel out of sorts ALMOST for about an hour one morning and I snap out of it and walk on unhindered and unharmed. My anti-bodies are big enough to see. They bad to sucka. They smack bitchs in public for kicks man. I'll be in Wal-Mart and some dude will be like "Hey, man, did on your white blood cells just hit me" and I'll be like "Hey guys, did one of you just punch the yuppie in the Dockers and Duckhead?" and then one will speak up and be like "Dude, yeah, does he have a problem essay? I cut him up good." only like, it wont SAY it, cause ya know, its like a cell, I dont think it has vocal chords. Its like a gurgling sound then I think it splits or reproduces.. Ya know, whatever cells do, but I know what it MEANS, and thats all that really matters. So I'll be like "Look fella, Spike just said he did, but man, yo dont want no peice, its just you man, and theres.. (counting) 65million of them.. Just walk away, go home to your family". Seriously, happens all the time. But thats why I aint skurred. I got some hardcore immune system. Havent been any kind of sick in who knows how many years and I take every kinda risk. Unafraid and unconcerned. So my throat itching? Aint worried. Fast fo'ward a day. Pay day, which translates to weep quietly and die a little inside as bills and life suck all the money out of my wallet before the smell can even work itself into the leather a little. But, I always keep enough to take my girl out to eat someplace decent (thank god she likes decent and not nice.. I like nice and I cant keep swinging 60$ a plate ♥♥♥♥ to please myself.. aint workin). She likes casual so we do some Logans, they have bangin steaks, cool atmosphere and good drinks. I dont feel correct. I figure it was cause I drank the night before, never mind it was like 5 beers and I'm a 10 beer 8 shot kinda guy.. But im a little off, dunno why, not a feeling im used to. I thought, well, your getting old.. Maybe its menopause. I here some men in there 24's get that.. Its genetic I think. So, Im good. Well, Im dressed in a sweater thingy and my GAINT 6x Johnny Blazy Hoody. Rags has seen it, its just huge. I have that on, plus my mechanix gloves and Ive been a little cold all day, which is weird for me, cause I love the cold and normally if it aint below 35 it flat doesnt bother me unless I have to stand in it for hours. Its not windy, its not wet, its in the lower 40's, chilly, but not cold. I can short sleeves all day and not flinch. Im shivering, weird huh? My girl weighs about as much as a rice cake and like a whole lot of women likes it somewhere between 100 and 130degrees before shes confortable and shes handling this better than me. Dont matter, its menopause again. I hear you get hot and cold flashs when that ♥♥♥♥ hits, so i write it off and we do Logans. So, Im sitting in this resturaunt, close to the bar, mid day on a weekday so its everything but busy, its nice and normal inside, 70's ya know? Im shaking like a leaf and Michelle is getting concerned. Little alarm bells are starting to tinkle in my head, but that pesky ego keeps slapping the little kids ringing the bells and yelling "Bitch, John dont get sick homes, you bettah chiggity check yo'self naw" and chasing em away. "No Michelle, Im fine, just cold, thats all". we order. She knows something is wrong and is doing that polite, 'I dont wanna fight right now but were about to because your a buffoonish asshat' kinda nag some women will do when they dont wanna fight but are about to get into one because your being a buffoonish asshat. Well, we order and by the time the appetizer gets there I'm still shaking, im getting REALLY sleepy, really dizzy and Im starving but lookin at my food is making something in my stomach say "Dont dude, please.. please dont, you will regret it," So I eat a little, manage my salad and a couple bites and doggy bag the thing, along with the meals of the poeple behind and in front of us for my dog (common practice, it gets weird looks, most poeple wont let me do it but 'Chelle is a soldier, she'll go to war for Big Jeffry (my dog)). I gotta work that night and its a big pan up (I move bread around and they pay me.. who knew?) and I got up after like 4 hours sleep to do the check and out to eat thing, so I need to get home and make me some bed time for a few hours.. Michelle tells me to go to the doctor as soon as I get off work if not before I go in at all and I just smile. I know im sick now, but Im still stuboorn.. Still big ego. I go to Wal-Mart and by some TheraFlu and like tylenol and shyte and head the rest of the way home, drink some and go to bed. I wake up a few hours later, 15 minutes before I have to be at work. Freaked out, I jump outa bed start throwing on my clothes, that bread wont move itself, I dont think.. It has yeast which is alive, but i dont think it'll work for a wage.. and if it does.. well, Ill be out of a job. Cant be late, gotta move, how the hell did I sleep through my alarm? Oh wait, whats that? Its the floor and Ive fallen on it! Oh whats this! Its vomit! and sweat! Ahhh! THATS WHY I SLEpT THROUGH MY ALARM! Im SICK! Really sick. Its too late though, i cant call in. I feel dead, literally. My throat is just closed up. A swollen mass of damnit that hurts, no color in my skin, nothing in my stomach now, its on the floor, big red mark on my face where I hit the floor and a bitchin full body ache. Oh! and my skin is so sensitive my shirt hurts and my toes are numb.. Makes since to me! I fight down some TheraFlu and go to work. I do a 6 hour pan up I can finish in 4 hours normally in 8:30 min and they let me leave. As a quick note, Im not gonna say where i work, but if you happen to live in the Lexington Ky area, dont go to any trendy bread-based resturaunts for a little while eh? Really, why the hell would you go there anyway? Shame on you.. yuppie. Ok, back, sorry. I get home I manage to text my girl and let he know I'm not dead but I think I may have died and come back at some point during the night, maybe more than one actually and then just fall flat on my face in bed and pass clean out for about 5 hours. I wake up and somethin isnt right in my stomach.. Somethin is very very wrong. I make it to the bathroom, during the olympian run through hall, over the baby crap, around the small pile of dog crap from my moms rodent/canine hybrid I realize I am even more sick than I was and this run is based on adrenaline and not one ounce of anything else, its all gone. I make the bathroom, its like 8am or so maybe a little later. My house doesnt wake till, I dunno, 2pm, so im safe from intrusion atleast. I manage to throw off my clothes and then begin to vomit for about 132 hours. Ok, so it was more like 10 minutes, but 10 minutes of uncontrollable vommiting is a little bitty lifetime lemme tell you. I finally finish and go to stand up.. and cant. I dont have the energy to stand, Im laying on the floor, naked in a cold ass bathroom, my cellphone far away, and literally do not have the power to lift myself off the floor or do anything. I kinda lay there and debate calling for help but Im naked.. The weenus doesnt need to be seen by any of the poeple currently in my house. My girl is at her place, crap. I lay there a few more minutes, trying to get the energy to stand up and cant do it. I say screw it and drag myself to the bathtub and manage to get myself in, it took some effort beleive me. I turn the water on, gosh gee golly its cold! But, I get it worked out, having worked myself into a sitting position I just sit there and eventually pass out. I wake up over an hour later, hot water nothing but a memory, shaking uncontrollably. Not just cause Im cold either, like muscle spasms. Like Ali. Im a human vibrator. Wholey ♥♥♥♥. I can walk though.. I stumble out of the shower and do what any good, upstanding young man does in such a situation.. I call my girlfriend, wake her up, gibber and rant about how sick I am but IM STILL NOT GOING TO THE DOCTOR and how I'll be ok Im just gonna hang up and play a few rounds of golf or something.. all clever code for "Baby please come over and help take care of my stupid ass cause if you dont I will manage to hurt myself, Im not built for this, im too stupid to survive when im in good health and on a more stable mental foundation, I didnt come from the factory with that 'self preservation' option most of you did.. Im a bare bones model damnit, no frills, your lucky i dress myself willingly". She understands cause she knows me pretty well and heads over. So, the rest of the day is spent in a battle of wills and wits with my girl, my Mom, my sister, random poeple and my cat who was as mad at me over the mornings events as anyone and likely more than most cause she didnt get her 10am hour long Im half asleep leave me alone you whore of babalon petting. All over going to the doctor. I spent HOURS fighting these poeple. Ill snap out of it! Good old John will WIN THE DAY. Yeah, my ass. I hold on until I actually stand up to get a drink and then wake up over and hour later with no memory of being half dilerious for the hour after falling down AGAIN and ranting about new cars. They told me this and I beleive them. I stood up, fell down, hurt myself (again) and this spiralled my ill at ease brain into a ran about new cars thats lasted about an hour and made no sense. Sounds like me, I do that ♥♥♥♥ in good health, more or less, why not in bad? I'm defaulting to my basic programming, which is to bitch about stuff I dont know enough about to bitch about. Good 'ole me. So, heres me, wrapped in two pairs of sweats, a shirt, a sweater, my super hoody and a big ass blue blanket I took from my house by force. I look like some kind of retarded, zombie/hiphop artist/gyspie/homeless man. Oh, I was wearing house shoes cause my Nike's hurt my feet. House shoes. I cram myself into Michelle's Firebird and we head to the emergency room. She has now moved on from her previous bitch mode to the "I won and you knew I would so Im gonna gloat withouth literally saying m gloating, ahahahahahahahaha you suck and your stupid" mode but I'm really in and out, so Im not even paying much attention. We hit the emergency room and perform that shuffling mumbling bitch and walk im slowly learning but quickly perfected. I walk into that thing like I was a king, wrapped in royal blue with a female escort, dressed well I might add, 'Chelle goes no where not lookin sharp enough to cut by god.. Not enjoying it today though, Ya know, cause Im dieing. I get the paper work filled out thought and sit down. 45 minutes and some more bitching (her at me and me at them) Im back and waiting on a doctor. Now, we all know emergency rooms take a long ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time. They just do. This wasnt a bad visit by any means, it was done in under 3 hours, which was lovely, next to these AMAZING pains in my guts (not stomach, guts, guts is more visceral and deep than stomach mind you..) but it still wasnt quick enough for Michelle. See, Michelle takes her friends and me, her odd and random boyfriend very very very seriously and shes freakishly protective of the people in her life. I was too weak to keep her under control, I just couldnt do it.. and so she was loosed on that poor hospital for like an hour and 30 minutes that I was back waiting on tests and ♥♥♥♥.. The horrors they endured defy imagination, they honestly do. I was brought a steady supply of warm blankets. I dont know where she got them, but she would bring me a new one whenver the last one started to go cold. She brought me gloves and other manner of hospital impliment and ornamentation that I expressed any child like interest in and when the medicine poeple didnt bring me the little pill that was supposed to stop my stomach from cramping and my guts from stabbing each other with forks she went out after and in search of the culprits behind such negligence.. She found them and a doctor from a WHOLE DIFFERENT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ DEPARTMENT brought me the medicine personally, THANKED ME FOR COMING and sat with me a few minutes before finally having to leave. Not a nurse, a doctor. Most of us know how doctors in big hospitals are.. Michelle just scared this guy that bad. im not kidding. A nurse finally makes it to me, and Michelle LEAVES to find the doctor on call to yell at him/her for not coming personally while the nurse asks me this and that and tells me my flu and strep tests came back negative and it looks like its some kind of very very very nasty throat injection thats wanting to spread and sell peices of me on ebay and ♥♥♥♥, killing me in the process. I get a lecture about just how bad I let this get and how it could really do sme damage, blah blah blah. Michelle comes back at some point to stand behind the nurse and nod knowingly like she too is an RN and has seen it all before and I should have listened. She is not an RN. She has some kind of dental training I dont pretend to understand but she currently moves bread with me. Well, thats not true, she got promoted, she now makes the bread that I move hot. But its ok, I got that promotion to, but the guy that teachs me how to make bread hot is busy teaching Michelle, so until shes done, I still move the bread.. (who knew?) Anyway. I get some bitchin stuff called Phenogram, Prednisone and good old Penicillin. Spend my rent money on my prescriptions (they werent that bad honestly, but I had JUSt enough to cover rent =/) and go home. I feel better now. Within 6 hours of gettng doped up I noticed a huge difference and now that a couple days have elapsed Im still a little off, but only a little and Ill likely be healed by tomarrow morning of the tiny ills that remain. I ended up missng 3 days forking work over this garbage and am out way more than I can afford to be between that, whatever my e-room visit costs me and my meds. Why? Cause my ego said "Dude, we've seen it before, we got ya, we yer boyz dawg". Put too much stock in a peice of me I had no literal control over and it kicked me hard and long and dangerously. So kids, dont do drugs. That sounds like a moral.. It has NOTHING to do with anything ive said, but dont do em, unless they look fun. Or someone tells you to, you should always do what poeple tell you to do. Like ride with strangers, thats good to. Some of my best friends are poeple that pick me up on street corners in the middle of the night. They always sit real close to me and talk all nice and stuff... Im gonna go find food. I know its here. I hate my apartment.

Damn, after seeing those pics, for some reason my pants got a little smaller.. No.. No, wait.. Ok, nevermind, they didnt shrink.. It was.. um, something else. Ok, do you remember that time we got really drunk together and you blacked out? Remember how you promised to give me an EVO IX MR as soon as you got one? Yeah, I didnt think you'd remember, so I just thought I'd take the time to remind you of your obligation. Thanks, Im a available any time, day or not for title transfer. sigh.