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Sigh, The P.I. has changed a lot...


Tony D

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Sadly, I get to report that while sitting down at the Makati City Mc Donalds this evening, enjoying my Chicken McDO & Mc Spaghetti I was approached by a very polite gentleman who sparked up a conversation and then indicated that we needed to now go outside to talk some more.

 

When I asked about what, he brushed back his right coat to show a badge of some sort.

 

Whe I persisted and asked what this was all about, he brushed back the other side of his coat to reveal a semiauto... And his partner sitting two tables away also performed another discreet act showing that indeed he, too had a badge and a gun.

 

So we went for a ride. To a dark place. Where they decided they needed my crisp $100 bills more than I did. But always polite and wanting to leave me with enough money to eat, they left me with my 700 Pesos, $15 Canadian, $7 Singapore, and 1000 Indonesian Rupiah.

 

Along with my credit cards, my mobile phone, oh....and my life.

 

How I lament not having my little .38 Derringer to kiss a forehead and chest of these two eminently polite, yet corrupt individuals.

 

Damnit, I knew better. I knew to only bring local cash with me and leave my travel money in the safe in the room with my passport.

 

This trumps the Moroccans stealing a dozen or so dirty socks and my MSA shirts. Then again, when the police (or someone who looks like the police) rolls you...it's not like you go to the police and report them: "Yeah Sgt. Brian over there, and Sgt. Jimmy, those are the guys who robbed me!"

 

Well, until I get my ATM card turned on for Overseas Usage (hey, good thing I didn't do THAT beforehand...they wanted me to go to the ATM...) I guess I'll be living off plastic.

 

:angry:

 

The P.I. has changed a lot.

The P.I. hasn't changed at all.

"It's the same, but different!"

 

:huh:

 

They took all my beer money.

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Manila room service call:

 

Room Service: Morny, rune sor-bees.

Hotel Guest: Oh sorry, I thought I dialed room service.

RS: Rye, rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to ordor sunteen?

HG: I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RS: Ow July then?

HG: What?

RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch..?

HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, Scrambled please.

RS: Ow July thee Baycome? Crease?

HG: Crisp will be fine.

RS: Okay. An Santos?

HG: Ugh.....I don't know....I don't think so.

RS: No? Judo one toes?

HG: Look, I really feel bad about this, but I just don't know what judo- one toes means, I'm sorry.

RS: Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow eengligh mopping we bother?

HG: English Muffin! I've got it! Toast! You were saying toast! Fine. An English Muffin will be fine.

RS: We Bother?

HG: No, just put the bother on the side.

RS: Wad?

HG: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

RS: Copy?

HG: I feel terrible about this, but ....

RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill.

HG: Coffee! Yes coffee please. And that's all.

RS: One minnie. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle aches, crease Baycome, tossy eengligh mopping we bother honey sight, and copy. Rye?

HG: Whatever you say.

RS: Okay, Tenjewberrymud.

HG: You're welcome.

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Manila room service call:

 

Room Service: Morny, rune sor-bees.

Hotel Guest: Oh sorry, I thought I dialed room service.

RS: Rye, rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to ordor sunteen?

HG: I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RS: Ow July then?

HG: What?

RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch..?

HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, Scrambled please.

RS: Ow July thee Baycome? Crease?

HG: Crisp will be fine.

RS: Okay. An Santos?

HG: Ugh.....I don't know....I don't think so.

RS: No? Judo one toes?

HG: Look, I really feel bad about this, but I just don't know what judo- one toes means, I'm sorry.

RS: Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow eengligh mopping we bother?

HG: English Muffin! I've got it! Toast! You were saying toast! Fine. An English Muffin will be fine.

RS: We Bother?

HG: No, just put the bother on the side.

RS: Wad?

HG: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

RS: Copy?

HG: I feel terrible about this, but ....

RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill.

HG: Coffee! Yes coffee please. And that's all.

RS: One minnie. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle aches, crease Baycome, tossy eengligh mopping we bother honey sight, and copy. Rye?

HG: Whatever you say.

RS: Okay, Tenjewberrymud.

HG: You're welcome.

 

That sounds more like Hikone (Japanese) Room Service, not Manila. Then I usually order in Japanese and we figure it out, my Japanglish is better than their Englapanese. Actually, the only thing I got which was laughable was I wanted to make a Long Distance call, but I already knew to tell the operador to connect me to a parparaway pon call to america... Right after jurjur and mas sarap bak bak...

 

I feel better this morning, but the money still stings. I got three weeks left more or less and now have to figure out if my ATM will work here (regardless of what I told them last evening...)

 

Oh to be able to freely travel with my mini .38, I could drop it in the river and never miss it.

Edited by Tony D
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Reminds me of a family trip to Mexico many years ago...

 

That was the Manila tourist protection squad in action.

They knew you were planning on using that money just to drink and have fun, (they could tell by those other fun country currencies you had with your Benjamins). So to prevent you from causing a public disturbance in one of the nicer areas, like Olongopo/Subic, they circumvented any possible travesty by holding your beer money for you.

 

Nothing has changed.

Manila was where my grandmother gave me the lecture of bribing/tipping everyone to sail through situations with less hassles.

Many folks have their own private security and never travel alone day or night.

Corrupt then, corrupt now.

 

Common denominator for the Philippines and Mexico is previous rule by Spain...

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I was there in the mid 70's. One morning after leaving a girls house, I got a ride by two nice youngsters back to the base in a side car on a motor bike. They relieved me of what was left over from the night before (just a few bucks), via a shinny revolver... :cuss:

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I was there in the mid 70's. One morning after leaving a girls house, I got a ride by two nice youngsters back to the base in a side car on a motor bike. They relieved me of what was left over from the night before (just a few bucks), via a shinny revolver... :cuss:

 

BAH! Internet ate my response to that...

 

In any case, I know now these guys were likely not 'on duty' at least. They were not in posession of proper service weapons. The guys here have a double-stacked magazine auto pistol, and these were definately a single-row mag variety.

 

There was a chance at the top of the stairs in McD's where they separated and got out of line/line site where Villian #2 could have went down. Then I could have waited for #1 to reascent the stairs to 'christen him' with his mate's pistol... or I could have come downstairs and dispatched with Villian #1.

 

Nobody would likely notice, the fryer was apparently in flames downstairs, as the place was filled with smoke and everybody was busy with counter-immolation procedures.

 

But hesitation over that badge and uniform top (belt was wrong, pants were wrong, looking closely yesterday) was what stopped my counteractions. Beating up local cops is not a good policy and leads to problems...

 

Hindsight is 20/20 at this point. And now to return to the scene of the crime and get some more Mc DO & Mc Spaghetti.

 

Hell, in the 80's I spirited SSGT (Name Witheld) back to the front gate of Clark AFB after he almost tore the male parts off a 'girl' he was snogging in the Nipa Hut. At least he got the satisfaction of inflicting great bodily pain and injury before his shakedown (where everydoby kicked in their remaining drinking money and ended up near $400) to pay off any 'imperial entanglements' for the noob. As an A1C you would think an E5 would know better, but only having been stationed at Wright-Patterson, he was unskilled and innocent in the ways of the world.

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Anybody who has seen my wallet knows it's a "Seinfeld Special"...really thick looking.

 

Most of it is receipts, very little of it is money as these guys found out!

 

But if they spied it when I was paying for Mc DO & Mc Spaghetti...that may have been all they needed. When the 'cops' ask you to come outside to clear it all up, you generally take them at their word. It was all very low-key to start with, like I said, hindsight is 20/20. I have been walking the area today and don't see hide nor hair of them, and the local Mobils have Mossberg 500's, the Doublestacked 9's in holsters, and one had an AR doing traffic stops. All much different than what I saw. But the uniform top they had IS an official uniform for this area. I have seen at least four different uniforms now that I'm looking.

 

I think it was just one of those 'big wallet, big payoff' kind of targeting. That's all I can figure. The most I did between the hotel and the McD's was laugh at various nightlife scenes and decline numerous 'independent salesmen' along the way.

 

I swear to christ the English Language Instruction here must start with rote:

 

Rolex? Cialis, Viagra?

 

RayBan? Cialis, Viagra?

 

TOOTHBRUSH? Cialis, Viagra?

 

Save for the Toothbrush, which likely was just generic, I'm suuuure all the rest are 'the genuine article' for sure! :rolleyes:

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That uniform caused hesitation. Like I said, hindsight is 20/20. The pistol isn't that big an issue if they aren't cops. If they are, and I get carried away not only do I have a dead cop, I'm the foreigner that did it.

 

If they were in T-Shirts I would have given it a go at the top of the stairs and gone from there. That was my opportunity. After you're in the car, it's not like Arnold and Sly movies, especially with a rotator cuff that's questionable.

 

But freestanding and within 4m on a holstered gun and civilian dress... I'd have taken my chances, the odds were far more in my favor than most people would think.

 

Speaking of criminals, anybody see that Rodney King got arrested AGAIN for driving 'under the influence of PCP'?

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