40MPG 10 year warranty Vehicle for nothing down

[Here comes trouble]

Is this an urban myth that there is this 40 MPG 10 year warranty new car for nothing down and $129.95 a month payments...I need one bad !!!!!...All in all , much progress has been made on my 250 GTO project but it seems most of my time has been spent trying to keep the the parts chaser cars running. ....................A lttle background first. I got stuck in the 1970's with a notion that Datsuns were the only cars period and this belief persists till this day and I will not even accept Datsuns made after 1979. My thinking is quite rigid in these matters.. and for good cause......The down side of my personal background history......I lost my driver's license for not paying speeding tickets and driving unlicensed vehicles. I have the historical dubious distinction of being the youngest Oregonian to ever lose their driving permit at age 14 at a time when 15 years of age was the earliest one could obtain a learner's permit. I was creative at a young age but this kind of creativity came with it's own serious consequences when discovered by the authorites but I am still listed by DMV as a year older than I am.....I finally got my driver'e license as most 16 year olds did but missed the learning phase by court order for attempting to elude. The 4 exit guard posts put the brakes on that inexperienced manuever and accelerated learning phase..Clocked at 100MPH and the flashing light was getting smaller in the rear view..... Seems the rear window blew out and left road debris when I rolled down the driver's side window attempting to hear the siren and get a lttle air. Big error in judgement, I found out you could not even hear the radio at 100 mph much less a siren with just one window rolled down. The rear window sparkling all over the road a mile behind you and impeding traffic and more importantly..... pursuit.......... Fast Forward Year's later.... A notion came to me in 1991 to be exact that I cease renewing license fees for my vehicles and quit paying tickets...... resulting in the inability to legally operate a motor vehicle for a number of years. To remedy the situation, I stocked up with many expendable cars or ones that would not hurt my feelings after being confiscated for vehicle code violations and my severe driving restrictions..........My current problems..........My renter named Melody drives me to town in an Oldsmobile for a part for the GTO project. The Olds quits running at 42nd street. I hitch home and get a tow chain and the old 1978 Datsun pick-up which is still unlicesed but I found some spare 2005 tags in a junk yard after a thorough search (good source for licensing needs) but my legal license plate expires for September and not quite good enuff for October 2005 requrements... The Olds is sucessfuly towed home without intervention by authorities despite the expired borrowed tags. The next day, we start to town in Melodie's Buick for Oldsmobile parts. and in a less than a mile the Buick transmission permanently retires near a Machine shop on Jasper Road. Now I do not need the Olds parts because I have the defunct Buick to select parts from since GM has interchageabilty on a limited basis. but still no project parts for the GTO........ Walk home....and then Tow the Bucik home with a Chrysler without much excitement....... But Staryl (another renter) has to pay $60.00 to get home from the airpirt (another story). I still need the GTO parts and the next day we take the Chrysler to town for the project parts. By this time I am so confused, I do not remember where or when the Chrysler broke down but the trouble code sez it is the oxygen sensor. Get the oxygen sensor, hustle a ride home and........ and .... Tow the Chrysler back with the Datsun pick-up but the rubber seal in the Datsun clutch slave cylinder malfunctions near the Pengra Covered Bridge. Manage to get the entire entourage home and intact minus the clutch "in and out" excersize. Spend the entire next day fabricating tools to remove the oxygen sensor from the Chrysler. Fix the Chyrsler and drive it to town for the seal to fix the Datsun slave cylinder. Chrysler runs great but near the vicinity of an IHOP restraunt quits running and I spend about five bucks in quarters at a pay phone to find out the trouble code reading for "bad TB sensor" is false . The primitive computer is telling a lie. I walk from the IHOP parking lot to Carl Jrs. for hamburgers.. and two hours later get a free Pepsi. (another story).....For the rest of the day the Chrysler will run intermittenly and around 5:00 PM, we are in sight of 42nd Street. I flip one of my last quarters and it comes up heads which determines I hustle a ride home with the slave cylinder parts and fix the Datsun to tow the Olds.. er the Chrysler or whatever... leaving Melody, my Rottweiller and her Chow Dog in the parking lot of an automotive repair shop which is no doubt the worst palce to hustle a ride from when the only cars coming in are in need of repair. I get a ride at the water pump shop across the street and get home and fix the slave cylinder with no one to pump the clutch while I bleed the slave cylinder. I finally get the Datsun on the road and pump the clutch as I go with the tow chain on board, a quart of brake fluid and a 10 mm wrench to rescue Chrysler, Melody and dogs. Got a dime left so I do not need a screw driver for any further on the spot repairs..... After about a week of spinning my tires on the parts chaser cars without remembering to get the GtO parts... I want a new car that gets 40MPG for nothing down @ $129.95 or less a month with a 10 year /100,000 mile full warranty because my wife is coming home from Europe in about 2 weeks and will not tolerate being stranded at the airport with 13 cars at home and none operable. I will be getting my license back soon and I may just start going legit again. (Not only was I the youngest person to ever lose a driving permit, I am one of a handfulf in Oregon that lost a driver license without drinking and driving. I have not consumed alcohol in 30 years) So is there a car that will fill my needs as a parts chaser and pick up my wife at the airprt with fot nothing down ???http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/larryjohnson97438/album?.dir=8223&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/ph//my_photos

[Pop N Wood]

Why do I have Alice's Restaurant running through my head?

 

Seriously, if you find something like that I could use one. About the only way you will come close is to buy a used Escort or Neon, something no one else really wants. But the no money down will be an issue with a used car.

[dmyntti]

I don't think mopeds come with ten year warranties, but I could be wrong.

[skipzoomie]

The next time I'm feeling that my luck is down I'm going to think of you.

[quicker240]

Hyundai Accent.Probably the cheapest new car on the planet(for good reason).Hyundia has the 100k warranty,and I cant imagine the payment being much more than your stated needs.Bad news is it will likely spend considerable time in the shop getting those warranty repairs as the car is a steaming P.O.S.,but hell,who cares?you have 37 other cars to tote you around while it gets fixed!

[Sleeper-Z]

kia rio is like 6800 brand new and i think they get a 100000 mile warranty as well!

 

you can always buy a civic (early-to-mid 90's). those are pretty reliable and get good gas mileage. if you needed to make payments take a bank loan for the cost of the car which should be around 2000-4500.

[auxilary]

I stopped reading after 2 sentences. Punctuation and paragraphs are key.

 

So are Cliff's notes

[dr_hunt]

Well, now we know why you are noted as "Here comes trouble". The kia is about as good as it gets, I think they are around $6800. If you can trade in 3 or 4 of the "old" ones, you'll be about where you want to be.

 

You remind me of me, just I'm older.

[dsommer]

Hate to do this but....

(I'll delete it shortly haha)

 

This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and therestaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice'sRestaurant.You can get anything you want at Alice's RestaurantYou can get anything you want at Alice's RestaurantWalk right in it's around the backJust a half a mile from the railroad trackYou can get anything you want at Alice's RestaurantNow it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago onThanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at therestaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in thechurch nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray andFasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot ofroom downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn'thave to take out their garbage for a long time.We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd bea friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. Sowe took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VWmicrobus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headedon toward the city dump.Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across thedump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dumpclosed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove offinto the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of theside road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of thecliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pileis better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up wedecided to throw our's down.That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgivingdinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until thenext morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton ofgarbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." AndI said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelopeunder that garbage."After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone wefinally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go downand pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at thepolice officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with theshovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward thepolice officer's station.Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done atthe police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal forbeing so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, andwe didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us outand told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's stationthere was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we wasboth immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think Ican pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.Get in the back of the patrol car."And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to thequote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town ofStockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stopsigns, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to theScene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted toget in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds ofcop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station.They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, andthey took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circlesand arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what eachone was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not tomention the aerial photography.After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to putus in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want yourwallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting mywallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do youwant my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." Isaid, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?"Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out thetoilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he tookout the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll thetoilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obiewas making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and with a fewnasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went backto the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-tencolour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the backof each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossypictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and hesat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at thetwenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrowsand a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circlesand arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of Americanblind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and thejudge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossypictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of eachone explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. Andwe was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats notwhat I came to tell you about.Came to talk about the draft.They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination oneday, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, soI looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted tolook like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wantedto feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and allkinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gaveme a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, Iwanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore andguts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," andhe started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and downyelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."Didn't feel too good about it.Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to meat the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, fourhours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nastyugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they wasinspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving nopart untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see thelast man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only gotone question. Have you ever been arrested?"And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and allthe phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you evergo to court?"And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-tencolour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph onthe back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I wantyou to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W'swhere they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army aftercommitting your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty uglylooking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Fatherrapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! Andthey was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on thebench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanestfather raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to meand said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the benchthere, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till Isaid, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on thebench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds ofthings, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held itup and said."Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked forforty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we hadfun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote itdown there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down thepencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on theother side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else onthe other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read thefollowing words:("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall toask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'msittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me andsaid, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprintsoff to Washington."And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is astudy in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'msinging you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similarsituation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in asituation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk intothe shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can getanything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And walk out. You know, ifone person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick andthey won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them.And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking insingin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's anorganization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I saidfifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant andwalking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, andall you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on theguitar.With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here andsing it when it does. Here it comes.You can get anything you want, at Alice's RestaurantYou can get anything you want, at Alice's RestaurantWalk right in it's around the backJust a half a mile from the railroad trackYou can get anything you want, at Alice's RestaurantThat was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing itfor another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four partharmony and feeling.We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.All right now.You can get anything you want, at Alice's RestaurantExcepting AliceYou can get anything you want, at Alice's RestaurantWalk right in it's around the backJust a half a mile from the railroad trackYou can get anything you want, at Alice's RestaurantDa da da da da da da dumAt Alice's Restaurant

[Trevor]

I think you need a tow truck.

[cyrus]

You can not live like this... How in world do you get to work, etc....Sell all cars but the GTO. Buy a newish 98 or newer for cheap. And pay off all tickets fines etc... And walk the straight and narrown so the law forgets who you even are.

[BrandonsZ]

You can not live like this... How in world do you get to work, etc....Sell all cars but the GTO. Buy a newish 98 or newer for cheap. And pay off all tickets fines etc... And walk the straight and narrown so the law forgets who you even are.

 

Sounds good in theory...

[dr_hunt]

Yeah, but he'd be missing out on the "thrill" of being an outlaw! The boy has a need, he just hasn't fulfilled it yet and until he does, he'll always be an outlaw.

 

Z, the need for speed, still awaits those who just can't get enough.

[Z-Gad]

Thanks dsommer!!

I look forward every Thanksgiving to hearing the 30 minute version of Alice's restaurant!! It is an odd tradition of sorts for me ...

[Guest Battle Pope]

well larry, I don't know what to tell ya. Kia or Hyundai are going to be your best bets I think, if you require a warrantee.

[TheNeedForZ]

Do we have Lada in North America? If we do then it's the cheapest new car available.

[Here comes trouble]

My wife in her last phone call vetoed the new car buy. She warned, " I left you key for my good running Oldsmobile Rocket 88 and it better run good when I come home " I would go for a Russian Lada...It has even a mechanical fuel pump that is rebuildable. but with all this car trouble I have had a great time meeting new people and I am getting out and about out more often. I recieve an adequete income from rental property and my wife wants all the money for more property.

[Moridin]

Mid 90's Civic VX. Has an econo-Vtec that will get you into the 50MPG range on the freeway. You can get a good deal on a decent running one. Won't have a warranty, but parts aren't expensive and it should run for at least 200,000 miles without any major problems.

 

Otherwise, a newer Kia or Hyundai is a good deal for the money. I also saw an ad at my local Saturn dealer for a $99.00 a month lease on approved credit (no idea how much down) for a new ION.