I have

[Sparks280zt]

I know I seem stupid saying "She's the one for me," but we have almost everything in common. The only thing we don't is that I like S30's and she likes Corvettes. She doesn't like drifting, she is afraid to go high speeds in cars. Which is about it. I already know what I'm going to do for my future. I already have 5,000$ saved up for the shop I want to open. I want to open a tire/muffler shop. I'm going to the Marines, and taking a business class in college, for the shops I open.

 

DUDE, no offense, you are 15. You dont even have a drivers license and in the next few years you are going to change alot and your opinions on things probbaly will too. Just have fun and enjoy life, dont worry about "the one"

[jtmny1999]

I know I seem stupid saying "She's the one for me," but we have almost everything in common. The only thing we don't is that I like S30's and she likes Corvettes. She doesn't like drifting, she is afraid to go high speeds in cars. Which is about it. I already know what I'm going to do for my future. I already have 5,000$ saved up for the shop I want to open. I want to open a tire/muffler shop. I'm going to the Marines, and taking a business class in college, for the shops I open.

 

 

Sorry but 5 g's won't be enough to open any shop, maybe a lemonade stand. Right now you are sprung and that will go away in time. Don't worry too much about her and have fun as you are still young. What are ur intensions with her anyways? what do you guys plan on doing alone since thats what you want?

[MrFancypants]

I think before you know she's "The One" you will have to sleep with her. But that's probably not the best advice for this thread

 

 

 

- Greg -

[Daeron]

Well now you just lost any sympathy you might have had from me.

 

No, at 14 she is NOT "the one". You are going to live 5 or 6 lives between now and the time you are 20. Believe me, neither one of you really know who you are or how you are going to look at life in a few years.

 

Maybe you need to step back from girls for a few years on concentrate on who and what you want to be when you grow up.

 

Hey dude, do not take the quoted post in the wrong way!!

 

His point was that you don't know jack about the man you are gonna be. You have plans, thats great, but what you do in the next five years is going to influence your life more than anything you have yet experienced... (true in 99.99% of 20th/21st century male american situations) Your relationship with this girl will alter you, your geometry teacher will alter you, high school football games will alter you.. and you have no idea what thats gonna be like yet. Thats all he is trying to say.

 

I have been a hopeless romantic my whole life; when I was 9 my crush switched churches to start attending with me.. which entailed her family converting to catholicism, NOT exactly a simple decision, more of a process. A Hybridization, if you will (catholic jokes are the best.. but they come with a limited audience, sigh.) I had similar concepts in mind then; BUT even then, I knew somewhere in my head that to say anything like that was foolish. We moved out of rural north carolina and back down to south florida when I was 12; never saw her again, BFD.

 

The single best piece of advice I have ever heard, bar none: Do Not Get Married Until You Are 25 (or close.) Quite frankly, women do not finish their full maturation process until sometime in their mid 20s.. some earlier, some later, but 25 is a good rule of thumb. Boys don't mature as fast as girls, right? that holds true until high school graduation, then things start shifting. Generally speaking, by the time a man is 21 he has made enough stupid mistakes that he is about 90% of the man he is gonna be.. but a woman at the same age (NOWADAYS, at least) still has FAR more mistakes to make before she really learns what is going on in this whole "society" place.. THIS is why so many marriages will break up.

 

So don't just get defensive; we know your feeling. thats "THE feeling," and I hope you get to experience it more than once in your life.

 

All this talk about going to church....Maybe it was the environment in which I grew up, but the first make-out session I had was in my church's parking lot. Hmmm, Youth Group was indeed fun.

 

LOL, grabbed my first pair at a church lock in when I was 15. (Actually, it was a game of truth or dare.. so there were a COUPLE of pairs grabbed that night.. ahh, the memories.... The funny thing was seeing 2 of those pairs at another pairs wedding last 11/11. The times, they are a chaaang-ing....) Daeron == late bloomer, romantics aside.

 

Anyhow, regarding your situation.. Give it some time. in a few weeks, maybe try to talk to her parents, or one of them (just speaking to one might make it easier on you) and do your best to approach them as an adult, and address any particular concerns that they might have with you. Make sure that they realize that YOU know certain boundaries need to be respected, and that you aren't just burning to get into her pants. The fact that you are here asking for advice leads me to believe that you are a respectable type guy, and that you AREN'T burning to get into her pants.. yet. In time, if that comes up, well so be it, maybe the parents don't really need to know yet (keep it wrapped ferchrissakes) BUT ONLY LET THAT HAPPEN IN TIME. one of my stock phrases is somewhat appropriate here.. "Patience is a virgin." I substitute virgin for virtue for comical purposes normally.. but here its doubly appropriate.

 

Haste makes waste, and you have nothing to gain and everything to lose by being in a hurry. The most admirable high school relationships are the ones that start early, last a few years, then end before your graduation so that you gain the experience to move on while you are still in an environment where it is easy to bounce back. (ie surrounded by lots of pretty girls that you can talk to and "get to know" Trust me, once you get out of school if you should HAPPEN to go back to your high school in the next couple of years you will be AMAZED at the amount of tail walking around you.)

 

Its like the old man in the ads said: Life is a Journey!! Enjoy the Ride!!

[CalifaThugz]

Now that raging hormones and sex has come up I'd like to say. That I really don't care about that. Might sound funny to some of you, but I believe that premarital sex is wrong. I can seriously wait. And about the 5 thousand I have saved up, I know its not enough, but thats why I'm saving up. I have been saving up for 7 months now. If I want to do something when I'm older I'm not ashamed to do something that will help me achieve what I want to do. I've been going to the swap meet asking people if they need help loading and unloading sometimes I spend a few hours and only get 15$ But thats enough, as a commercial I have seen I give people more for their money. By the way why is it that sex is so important to some of you, or some men?

[auxilary]

here's why i disagree with abstaining from pre-marital sex: what if you and your wife to be are sexually incompatible? Sounds silly, but a lot of a relationship is based on sex and physical attraction. if you can't satisfy your partner in bed, or vice versa, it leads to problems down the line.

 

Hence why I believe pre-marital sex should be encouraged, but not without safety precautions, obviously.

 

By the way why is it that sex is so important to some of you, or some men?

It's like Lay's Potato chips... you can't eat just one. Sex enhances a relationship foundation if applied in proper moderation; it greatly aids physical attraction and helps build a strong bond.

[CalifaThugz]

I didn't know sex was so important in a relationship...

[MatMan]

It's as important as you make it.

 

Some people are fine having it once in a while (Al Bundy) Some want it all the time (Peg Bundy) and anywhere in between.

 

The important part is to find someone who likes it as much as you do, maybe a bit more, so the *snap* never fades.

 

You have to find out who you are and what you like, before you can look for that in another person.

[BRAAP]

From my back ground growing up, I can appreciate, to a certain degree, where Aux is coming from. What I have recently been learning from the good book, Sex is encouraged and to be enjoyed between a married couple, which is most likely what ThugZ has grown up understanding and apparently trying to be diligent in.

 

Combining what I have learned, over all, sex is natural and encouraged, even in the good book. No matter what school of thought you come from, "biblical", or "premarital sex is part of dating", If a man and a woman are not sexually compatible, the "sex issue" then really is NOT the issue, but just a consequence of much bigger, other issues. I firmly believe if one really is interested in getting to know a girl on a deeper level than just playing on her playground, those issues should’ve been learned about or at least noticed before that big step of "bumping uglies".

 

 

This thread started out innocent enough.

ThugZ, as a VERY young member of HybridZ, you have handled yourself respectfully amongst the more adult advice given in this thread.

 

On that note, Politics and Religion are two sensitive subjects that are really too sensitive in nature to be discussed at any depth on HybridZ, refer to Rule #8 in the rules and guidelines, (sex in general seems to be ok, if kept to a PG rating) Many here have strong feelings on all sides, including myself. As a New Admin, it is tough keeping those feelings in check and using that authority to “serve” HybridZ in a manner that maintains its well established, and successful theme.

 

In short, This thread will continue, but if it goes much further into religion, it will get locked and tossed in the tool shed.

[auxilary]

To clarify, I didn't imply that people should have sex first and then pursue a relationship. I meant that sex can play a relatively major role, and both people have to be on the same page of understanding and fulfilling each others' needs.

 

Love is great, but it does not always hold relationships together solid without help of other influences (financial stability [not implying gold digging], sexual compatibility, being able to stand each other)

 

that being said, thugz, you're 14. You've got a LONG way to go ahead of you in life. With this, I want to give you a piece of advice: picture what will happen 10 years from now if you think this is the love of your life.

 

you'll date her throughout highschool, get married at 22-23, and around 25-26, either you or she will wake up one morning thinking "holy crap, I haven't experienced anything else!"

 

Why am I saying this? Because I've seen this happen to people around me all the time. My coworker married his high school gf, they have 2 kids. He's 23, she's 22. They constantly fight, half the time he comes in without a ring on his finger (this is how we tell he's having problems at home), and he himself has stated that he wants to go out and experience life and not be tied down with kids at home.

 

Of course, this is a generalization. It does not apply to everyone, and everyone is different. But it's a good point to think about, and you will never forget your first love

[dr_hunt]

I know I seem stupid saying "She's the one for me," but we have almost everything in common. The only thing we don't is that I like S30's and she likes Corvettes. She doesn't like drifting, she is afraid to go high speeds in cars. Which is about it. I already know what I'm going to do for my future. I already have 5,000$ saved up for the shop I want to open. I want to open a tire/muffler shop. I'm going to the Marines, and taking a business class in college, for the shops I open.

 

You sound like me when I was your age. Had a hottie GF and a $20/hr job as a finish blade operator when I was 17. I thought much the same as you are now. Here I am 27 years later, Masters degree, registered professional engineer, self employed, lost my wife to cancer in '06 and back in the dating game. Oh, BTW, the hottie back then turned out to be a ho bag even though I thought she was perfect at the time. Who would have thought? Anyway my point is that "LIFE IS ABOUT CHANGE AND NOTHING EVER STAYS THE SAME!" Read that a few times and remember it. IF WE KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE, LIFE WOULDN'T BE WORTH LIVING! So, who's to say that you don't find another even hotter hottie, that likes z's, going fast, drifting, everything you do and is better in bed than your wildest dreams! Neither of us I'm sure. Don't settle on the latest model only to find out 2 years from now that there is a better one or even worse, that yours is like my old GF was.

 

ALL YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE TO SHARE WITH OTHERS IS YOUR TIME. MAKE GOOD USE OF IT AND YOU'LL NEVER BE SORRY!

[CalifaThugz]

Thank you Dr hunt, but appearance doesn't really matter to me. I only really look for personality. If she has the looks though that is definitely plus. We have been together for two months, we always have something new to talk about. I guess now that I'm heading to high school we'll have new things to talk about. She's a sophomore now I'm a freshmen. We both have that personality that if someone doesn't like a certain thing about us then thats their problem, they should learn to like new things. We went to six flags about a month ago, and that is where we both found out we also fear the same things, which was clowns and roller coasters. We both took off fast when a clown popped up behind us. I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I too have lost loved ones and its hard to deal with it at times.

[Daeron]

Hey man. You are an upright guy; good principles. The personality you have shown in this thread speaks volumes, and I hope you read all the grains of salt shown to you here and do your best to see where everyone is coming from.

 

I think that overall, you've hear about the gamut of decent advice there is to give; however, I do agree that it has gone as far as it needs to (by that I mean, relative to boundaries regarding use of the forum) Apologies if any of my comments pushed the envelope a bit closer to that edge.

 

In short, we are all trying to say that planning for your life is good; but in the end you cannot always count on reality to match your plans.