New parts arrived. Valve stem seals replaced. Several weren't even fully seated anymore and one was torn! Glad I suspected them for the oil burning when I realized just how much oil I was going through but the compression tested good.
Aside from replacing the rear main seal, I think this is officially the most involved work I've done on an engine.
Got the old cam out this morning and new cam in. Managed to get it out without removing the hood fortunately. Tested wipe pattern on the first two valves. Will try swapping the lash pads to see if it's better or worse. But if it's about the same I'm gonna just send it.