Mudge Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 This has been around the Net a While, but It's worth a laugh 1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers. 2. You can't drive your car in the rain. 3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car. 4. You are afraid to drive your car. 5. You spend more on tires than on food. 6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments. 7. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash. 8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper. 9. You have to go to the track to buy gas. 10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you. 11. Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave you by. 12. You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. 13. You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office. 14. Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift back to red as you're receding. 15. You arrive somewhere before you left. 16. You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood." 17. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight. 18. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge. 19. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run. 20. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car. 22. You need parachute braking. 23. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car. 24. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am. 25. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...) 26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car. 27. Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon drums! 28. You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn't everybody???) 29. The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???) 30. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph. 31. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner. 32. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" dual exhaust. 33. All the major Tire makers are sending you free slicks in hopes of endorsment deal. 34. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments. 35. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown. 36. All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELLOUT. 37. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart. 38. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right ....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE. 39. The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east. 40. You have to screw your slicks to the wheels. 41. Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline. 42. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course. 43. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel. 44. The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the road. 45. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm. 46. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest livewire23 Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 I can proudly claim the last two rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzette Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Im guilty on three counts +....lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fl327 Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 rule number one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZR8ED Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 guilty on 6! Ohhhyeaaaa. I told you I was sick! :malebitchslap: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZR8ED Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Also need to add.. Tempted to wear my helmet driving to and from work....oh yea...I can just see the look on peoples faces in the parking lot, as I strap on my helmet and get into my car!! Very sick I am.... so make that 7.. :malebitchslap: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim240z Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 WAIT A MINUTE!!!! ".....Too much HP" - Isn't that an oxymoron!!!? TIm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MistressMotorsports Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 There is no such thing as too much hp. Mark Donohue said that you had enough horsepower when could sping the tires all the way from the exit of one corner to the entrance of the next. I contend he was wrong. All that means is that you need more downforce. Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tt350 Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 I guess my car will be guilty on every one of those counts. Hehe. baby ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest livewire23 Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 I thought hp was measured as "lots of hp", "insane amounts of hp", and then "too much hp" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 I don't even have my LS1 Z yet and I was looking through a procharger catalog last night. This definitely is a disease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stony Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 1, 2, 3, 28, and 41 apply to me ;> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottie-GNZ Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 I read the list thinking I would find a lot that applied but was surpirised. 1. Emissions? FL? At least not in my county 8. A couple of times 30. 125mph 33. I wish 42. Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pparaska Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 my experience has been: You know you have enough horsepower when you're afraid to use it all or you are NOT wishing there was more. Of course, once the tires can't hold it, you upgrade those and maybe the suspension settings. Hopefully, you're still afraid to use all the power after that too! My car is presently in the "not enough" category. I'm hoping the 406 will help with that . I figure something north of 450/450 hp/lb-ft (knocking 30-40 off of the desktop dyno numbers) should get me close to the "enough hp" range. Ordering the Canfield heads today... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lockjaw Posted April 30, 2003 Share Posted April 30, 2003 No such thing as to much HP, if you ask me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strotter Posted May 1, 2003 Share Posted May 1, 2003 I've been re-calibrating my speedo, but I'm having trouble getting the words "Ludicrous Speed" to fit without being all bunched up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudge Posted May 1, 2003 Author Share Posted May 1, 2003 No such thing as to much HP, if you ask me. I dont know how long you've been running 12s, and thats certainly respectable, but unless taken in small jumps then I would call it too much horsepower. Every driver is different, some once in a blue moon are naturals, stick most anyone in a race car though - and voila, too much power and car for the driver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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