auxilary Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 user comes up, and goes "Hi, my name is _____" and shakes my hand. Whatever, no biggie. I ask "what's going on?" She holds up her blackberry: "well, guess where this went?" me: "goddamnit... in the toilet. I'm not touching that" her: "yeah, so what do I need to do?" me: "You just shook my hand with that hand, GOD DAMNIT!" (*P@&%)(*^(@*&*%&@(*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aaron Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Aux, I have got to know where you work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonfen Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 That does not sound like fun. I have a few stories myself. I'll try to remember some good ones. If you have not seen http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com you should check it out. It is a site put up by a some poor tech that had to deal with an unusual Help Desk guy. There is some pretty funny stuff there. I cried for this guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wagz Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Aux, I have got to know where you work. No kidding. I want to know too. Many years ago I worked as a PC/LAN support tech and never had issues like you deal with Aux. The dumbest question I ever got (only those that know the old Windows 3.x environment will get this) went like this. Phone rings: "Hello, Helpdesk" User: "Uh, I can't open up WordPerfect." Me: "Ok, what happens when you double-click the icon?" User: "Uh, I can't find the icon. It disappeared." Me: "Ok, then. Are you in front of your PC?" User: "Yes." Me: "Allright. Go to the Program Manager." User: [Long pause] "Uhhh, I don't know who my Program Manager is. I need to go ask my supervisor. Me: [incredulous] "No, no. Click on the icon that says Program Manager. [ me - Supressing laughter..] We hung a large banner with the quote with I don't know who my Program Manager is. on our call center wall for months... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Smooth Operator Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Pubes and toilets.. could be worse... I used to be a laborer for a these electricians. We were wiring up a section they were adding onto the school. There was a 4 or 5" conduit than ran from the utility room of the main school building out to the new section for the main power supply. Well we were fishing in the wire and one of the guys I work with gets something on his hand, he thought it was mud at first. Turns out one of the mexicans working somewhere else one the site took a sh*t down into the conduit. That made that whole place smell like a nasty f*cking bathroom the whole rest of the time there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
280Zen Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 ROTFLMAO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMortensen Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 My buddies favorite IT story. There was one woman who asked him about 20 dumb questions a day. Here goes: phone rings... "Yes, can I help you?" "My computer won't boot up. It says something like non system boot disk." "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "No." "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "No." "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "NO." "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "NO!!!" "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "NO Goddamn it!" "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "NO!!! There is no disk in the disk drive." "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH! Do I have to call your supervisor?" "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "Why do you keep asking me that?!?!" "Is there a disk in the disk drive?" "................................Oh, thanks." click... I love that one because I know the woman involved. Sharp as a marble. Jon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gramercyjam Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 My pager fell in the toilet once. ME: My pager doesn't work. I think I need a new one. IT Pager folks: It doesn't work? Me: No. Them: What happened to it? Me: I don't know. It just stopped working. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auxilary Posted November 19, 2003 Author Share Posted November 19, 2003 Trust us, we KNOW where that pager went and why it stopped working. Honestly, if you tell the IT guys the truth, they'll have a lot more respect for you. When I had a short contract at Oracle years ago, some guy brought in a laptop. It smelled of cat piss, and since I have a cat, I'm rather familiar with the smell. I ask him what happened, and he said he came home, and laptop didn't work. I looked at him, and asked "What REALLY happened, because I know what the smell is." He said "my cat urinated on the laptop" me: "you're on your own here" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gramercyjam Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Naw. I washed it off in the sink first and then let it dry off. Besides, I'm their boss so respect is nice to have, but fear works better (just kidding). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonfen Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I had a lawyer bring in his laptop because it was not working. He left in a bit of a hurry. I went to remove the PCMCIA card and it felt like I was pulling it out of honey. I disassembled it and found coffee on every part. Apparently, he spilled the coffee right into the card slot. I approached him about it. I could hardly finish before he denied spilling coffee on it. This guy was a Partner so it really did not matter. He just did not want to admit it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auxilary Posted November 19, 2003 Author Share Posted November 19, 2003 gramercyjam, wanna hook me up with a good job? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gramercyjam Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I don't have any positions open at my account, everybody is trying to keep labor costs down. I probably won't unless somebody quits. Last person quit about 3 years ago. And even then, there's that giant sucking sound of all the jobs going off shore. No one's immune. There used to be lots of small machine shops doing mfg work 20 years ago, and steel mills before that but no more. I see IT going the way of those skilled jobs. When my kids ask me what they should go into, I don't know anymore, maybe a plumber or a teacher? It's hard to predict. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikelly Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Here is what I tell them... Get a clearance... Top Secret is best... What does this require? Don't do drugs, Don't get busted for anything other than moving violations, no petty crime, no battery, No burglary, No removing your ex-wife's head and then getting Johnny Cochran and the dream team to get you off! Stick close by Uncle Sam... He has money... Lots of money! Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 240hybrid Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 The ole pager in the toilet fun happened to me once. I just fished it out (luckily it was clean water), took the battery out and let it dry out. Next day I put the battery back in and it still worked. Chase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aaron Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I love how we get blamed for everthing that goes wrong. Partner at the accounting firm I worked for walks in to my office yelling "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY COMPUTER?" (he had been out of work the day before, not that any less work got done). I say I have not touched your computer in weeks. He says "You had to have, I came in this morning, turn my computer on, and nothing happens." He has one of those power stations that you sets under the monitor and has a power switch for each part of the computer. I ask him what does you monitor do? He says "It is blank and the little light is orange." I ask is the computer turned on? He says "Yes, I never turn it off. I use my power thing." I say go double check that, and if it still does not work, I will come look at it. He says "I'll check it, but I KNOW that is not it, and I'll call you when it doesn't." He was not happy. I never heard from him that day. I found out later an intern had used his computer while he was gone. She had turned off the computer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wagz Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Here is what I tell them... Get a clearance... Top Secret is best... I used to work at a Nuclear site on an IT contract for the DOD and DOE so, I have an inactive Secret clearance. The downside is that the few times I've done some job searches based on security clearance requirements, the vast majority of available jobs are based in Maryland and Virginia. (gee, imagine that). Maybe, I'm not looking hard enough, but I like living in the Northwest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redruM_0381 Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 I used to be a TSR for MSN 2 years ago in Utah. A rep on our floor took this call: http://webpages.charter.net/redrum69/bigblackman.wav hehe.. This is the first time I've ever posted it online. It'll prolly spread all over the net in no time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim240z Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 I used to be a TSR for MSN 2 years ago in Utah. A rep on our floor took this call: http://webpages.charter.net/redrum69/bigblackman.wav hehe.. This is the first time I've ever posted it online. It'll prolly spread all over the net in no time. ROTFLMAO!!! And the Darwin award goes to.....some dumb B!tch in Kentucky!!! ha ha ha. It amazes me that people can be THAT completey stupid! ha ha ha Tim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cusp Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 That tape will spread like wildfire... " I vanted to see da big black man dancin on da screen", jiminy christmas lady, get a hobby! Wait, she may already have one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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