women problems.. yes NON Z related lol

[Guest ON3GO]

ok for the people who dont know me TOO well, which would be werid since i post whore so much.

 

im 21 years old, done with Auto Tech school but starting Autobody and paint in december. Live in Houston, Texas but from Tampa florida.

now heres the story. ill keep it very short.

 

This girl i have known for awhile now like 10 years, dated her also in that time for like 3 years if not more.

she was always a awesome girl to be with, but then somethings happened in her personal life which changed her. seems here father abused her. when i found out i paid her father alittle visit and my feelings got the best of me, his face got the best of me also.

we were still going out, but things were getting werid... just wasnt the same.

not soon after we went our own ways with us still talking alot, still being friends.

one night i got a call from her, i was just about to race this one guy in Tampa... about a good hour or so away from where she was.

she told me she just had been raped... my heart dropped and me and a buddy went to go see her.

well turns out she was seeing this guy for a bit, a guy i knew pretty well.

they were messing around and she said she wanted to stop, and well he said fine and left like a gentleman. BUT in her mind SOMETHING happened and to be hoesnt I dont no what... some words were said between us and blah blah blah.

we didnt talk for a few months, then we bumpped into each other at my friends party. that old flame shot back up and we started going back out.

Things were AWESOME for awhile, and she was planning on moving with me to Texas for my school.

just before that time came she started acting werid, i guess she didnt want to settle down. fine with me.

i went to texas and tried the whole long distance thing out... didnt work.

so we desided to part ways, and if something ever happened between us when i came back we would take it from there.

 

Well im in florida now for a month, i saw her the other day..

things went right back to where they were.

thing is, she NOW wants to move to texas more then ever, and she tells me she now KNOWS she wants to spend her life with me, or atleast try it out right now.

 

now this is freaken me out sorta, as i might move back to florida when im done with this year of school..

 

she is a beautiful girl, with some known problems in the past, seems she has passed them up abit but im sure they are still there.

I do LOVE her, but i just cant take any more crap from her old ways, i got hurt way to much.

 

anybody ever run into a problem like this?

 

and yes Vince i know what you said but i really got caught up in the momment the other day when i saw her and it got me thinking.

 

Mike

[datsunlover]

Doood.. tough spot to be in.. I've been in a similar situation.. (actually.. scarry how close to your story mine is... ) And to tell you the truth, these kind of thoughts never 'go away' but.. trust me man.. be her friend, but don't get involved "like you were" again.. Either she's still 'messed up' (not trying to insult here..) or she might be ussing you as her..ah.. back up plan? You know.. you're always there to fall back on so to speak..

And judging from MY previous experience, and frends of mine who have delt with similar issues, women DO know when they've 'got you' and ARE aware of feelings they bring out in you... but the saying goes.. "Do me wrong once, shame on you; Do me wrong TWICE, shame on ME" Some times.. two people just don't work. Just MHO man.. good luck with this one.

 

Matt

[MrWOT]

Does she like cars and is unopposed to spending money on them to go faster?

[mark]

Tell her if she means it, she has to get some counseling first. Not some new age crap but some real faith based (read christian) counseling and that after she has gone for a while, offer to go with her to a few sessions. If she is serious about you, she will do this and it will be great for both of you. If she balks, you walk. I speak from experience. Age does have a few advantages.

 

Mark

[Synlubes]

Whats the head (brain) say?

Whats the heart say?

 

You know the history.

It`s all up to you!

Don`t ever be affaid to take a chance, you are a young man with lots of life ahead of you.

 

Good luck!

 

(edit) What Mark said! Very good point Mark.

[Tim240z]

You are too young to have a girlfriend.....have one night stands and booty calls until at least 28 years old....SERIOUSLY....you will likely regret it if you don't.....

[CruxGNZ]

8) Tim, that is the best advice I have ever heard!

 

!M!

[Tim240z]

I'm dead serious too....WTH would you want to be tied down at 21!!!?

[Guest ON3GO]

omg.. great advice tim.

thing is i cant be like that, i get to attached to easy (cant you tell lol)

 

and Mark i already asked her about that, i even offered to pay for it.

 

mike

[datsunlover]

Hell I'm living with my girl friend.. and wondering WTF sometimes!! She's ok with me spending $$$ on an old Z though...

[COZY Z COLE]

Here's my two cents......... People who are abused, physically or mentally, have a lot of issues to be resolved and one of them is a committed relationship. I also agree with MARK that counseling would be a great idea and your involvement in that process would be a good thing seeing that you got involved with the situation. If I understand it correctly you are going back to HOUSTON for at least another year of training, so just maybe after that, it would be the best time to sit down and focus on your personal life's goals as opposed to your career goals. You've got lots of time left in your life and it took me into my 40's to find the " right one".

 

 

 

 

LARRY

[hanomon]

My 0.02,

I'm not too sure on what works as I'm 0 for 2 and on wife No.3 now.

What little I have figured out I'll share here. Not trying to sound too sexist, Its kinda' like our vehicles. How much time and money are you willing to invest? How well did the PO take care of them? How strong dose it run now? Can you trust it with your life? and or the lives of your family?

There will allways be one of you who is emmotionally stronger, and its not necessarily the guy! If in this case it is you, how long are you willing to let her lean on you before you resent her? Tough call bro. Calculate the risk. No guts no Glory. The bigest successes in my history have been the other people I've invested in! God speed brother.

[Sumo]

Dude just do what Tim said and take it from someone who is ol....already been there. I hate to be blunt but that kind of emotional damage on your chick is lifetime damage no matter what kinda therapy she gets. There is always someone better out there, besides your only 21 live a little more.

[Tim240z]

omg.. great advice tim.

thing is i cant be like that' date=' i get to attached to easy (cant you tell lol)

 

and Mark i already asked her about that, i even offered to pay for it.

 

mike[/quote']

 

Time to snap out of it then......trust me on this!

[Guest ON3GO]

I hate to be blunt but that kind of emotional damage on your chick is lifetime damage no matter what kinda therapy she gets. There is always[/b'] someone better out there, besides your only 21 live a little more.

 

i agree with you but then what for her? if she is damaged for life then who is right for her? nobody?

i cant see that, she is so beautiful, very smart, kind, funny, and .. i dunno.

 

and Tim while i do agree with you, its just hard, been hard for over 5 or so years now with her.

ive gotten over so many other girls, just this one i cant.

werid

 

mike

[Guest DiZeased_240]

The only advice I have is to take your time. DON'T rush into anything. Whether you are 21 or 31, you have plenty of time to let this relationship play out for better or worse.

 

You don't have to turn her away, but if you care for her so much then give her some space to deal with any issues she's having. You can still be there to give her support when necessary. If the two of you are meant to be together then time will allow the relationship to grow and happen.

 

There are very few relationships that don't end painfully. It's a risk you take by investing yourself in one, and no relationship will ever go 100% smoothly. It's something you have to work at. It took me a while before I met my wife, but after 3 years of marriage I can tell you it was worth the wait. I'm now 28.

 

Enjoy your early 20's... you only get them once!

[Guest Magnum Rockwilder]

I've dated girls like the one you're talking about, and I have the scars to prove it. Don't touch her with a 10 foot pole. Put her on the "ignore" list. Chaotic women will ALWAYS bring nothing but chaos to your life. Move on and let her "find herself", or ruin someone else's life.

 

I'm 24 and happily married to my 22 year old wife, but we've been together for almost 7 years and have never had any of that chaotic bullshit.

 

PS, I'm in Tampa Bay as well.

[Guest 240zJake]

Wait... freeze the relationship before it goes any further, give yourself time. Time will help clear the haze.

Asking us may not be the best thing, we're car guys who take rusty hunks that are probably too far gone and try to coax them into wonder cars, many succeed but regret not waiting for that car with the clean frame that would have saved so much trouble.

However, IMO, you already know what your going to do, even if your not willing to admit it yet...

 

8) Jake

[hanomon]

.02 cents more or should I say .03

It seems basically most things are tri, check it out;

 

Time, space, matter.

past, present, future.

water, earth,sky.

protons, neutrons, electrons.

solid, vapor, liquid.

red, yellow, blue.

child, adult, senior.

height, width, depth.

body, mind, spirit.

the trinity (for people of faith)

boy, girl, one common goal.

compromise, sacrifice, dedication.

 

So...whats love got to do with it? Good question from Tina T.

Not much after many years of togeatherness. The Love runs thin over time and the last three elements mentioned are what has (for my wife and I) proven to work!

 

Giving up something you want, to get something else you need, or want, is compromise.

 

Giving up something you have for (possibly) nothing in return is sacrificing.

 

Dedication is determined by how long and well you do the first two. Removing any of these three concepts will make it difficult (if not impossible) for any relationship to be healthy and strong enough to stand the test of time.

[TOMAHAWKZ]

Dude, been there done that at the same age. I got 2 words for ya "run away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dont get all caught up in chicks, finish you school first so as to obtain a good paying job, this you will not regret I assure you. Then go find ya good lady friend. I had some of the best times of my life, so far while in my mid 20's. Theres lots of stuff to see and plenty of people to meet in this world. You will always have something in your heart for her thats just the way life is but the good memories will always be there and the bad ones will make you wiser!!

 

Tim I dont know how old ya are but do you remember the Australian Beach Club or Geckos in H.B. ?Lots of good times to be had and plenty of Girls Girls Girls....