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Guest ON3GO

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she's in school right now and she has her family and life there.

i dont really have that here in houston as my family is in florida.

even still my parents might move to arizona so florida might be out of the question for me also.

im not so rooted here in texas that it will be a big deal if i move.

 

mike

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Mike, lots of good advice and i hope it works out for ya whichever way you decide.

 

I played around in my hay-day until i was 24, when my highschool sweetheart called me out of the blue after not speaking for over 4 years. Went out one night and 6 years later we were married. Now, coming up on our 10 yr wedding anniversary, we have a 6yr old, a 4yr old and a 1yr old and i wouldn't trade it for the world. BUT, i will NEVER forget the days of your age. Especially since every time the guys get together, those days are always brought up. We had some crazy/reckless times which will never happen again, which in a way is GOOD! lol. Whichever you decide, enjoy the most out of your life. Try to make well thought decisions and not waste too many those "not so responsible" days.

 

BTW, NYC's about 20 minutes from me. Come on up and let's see if i can't get those "settling down @ 22" thoughts outa your head :)

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It’s interesting how age and experience are relative….

 

On HybridZ we’ve got guys in their 30’s giving advice to guys in their 20’s, from a vantage point of been-there-done-that burnished maturity. Meanwhile, at work we have people in their 70’s and late 60’s advising “youth†in their mid 50’s about the pros and cons of retirement.

 

If you’re 22 and you have completed your formal education, but have not yet settled into a career, then this is probably the EASIEST time to relocate. The particular reason to move might be questionable or even specious, but the capacity to move more or less seamlessly is probably the highest in one’s early-mid 20’s. If you continue in auto mechanics then by your 30’s conceivably you would have your own shop, with a network of clients and a presence in the community; then uprooting would be vastly more difficult.

 

Also, much of the “don’t rush into a commitment and stay casual while you’re young†advice is coming from folks who are/were quite adept with the ladies. If, on the other hand, you handle tools much better than women, wisdom such as “there are lots of single women†or “you can hook up with a chick anywhere/anytime†is vacuous. Simply put, one has to take what he can get. I mean really, how many 22-year-olds have wild parties, one-night-stands, casual girlfriends, strings of “ex’sâ€, and a trail of the colloquial “wild oatsâ€? I’d posit that most 22 year olds are either hitting the books, or working 70-hour weeks to build their careers. 80% are fantasizing over the mythical exploits of the remaining 20%; they’re not living the life, single or married – but they persist in dreaming the life. One may not be ready to settle down at 22 – or even at 52 – but the reason is very, very rarely that one would be “missing out†on loose and rollicking youthful adventures.

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Wow, that was brilliant michael. Coming from someone who is not good with handling tools nor ladies, I still don't have a desire to settle down with anyone permanently for a few reasons.

 

First, I'm 22, not net advanced in my career, and feel like a serious relationship would either slow me down or cause me to have to settle for a grind that pays on time, but not partcularly what I've dreamt to do with my life.

 

Biggest reason though, is that...lets face it...50% of marriages end in divorce, and many others stay together unhappily. I figure if I marry the wrong person at 28-30, I'll feel like at least the better part of my life was not wasted being unhappy, which will result in less resentment towards her.

 

Just my .02 Don't rush into anything, and think with the head up top, while factoring in what senses may be loss due to Zcar carbon monoxyde poisoning. :-)

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Michael brings up a few points that I'll entertain... This is gonna be long...

 

Sure, there are guys who have luck with women at any age (For some unforeseen reason I get hit on when I'm out WITH my wife still and I'm about 25# overweight - :roll: ) and there are guys who, for whatever reason, lack a few things. You don't see guys lining up and swiveling heads to watch some plus dress size 14-16 woman walk past, do you? :toetap05: No, we generally make comments about their weight, and comparing them to mammels that we send off to the slaughter. Is it fair? Don't these young women have feelings to? Yet few guys are lining up and chasing them down for their numbers. No, we're all drawn to the pretty women that scratch our particular fancies. But regardless, we shallow men want all our boxes checked off too. Then, we wade out into the sea of lonely people, get rejected a few times, and complain about how these "gold digging" little hot biatches only want guys who drive nice cars, have fancy homes or thick portfolios. :lmao: We're such a pathetic lot, really, and quite hypocritical.

 

On a side note: I have two nieces who are 17 and 19 and both are overweight, and both would knock every guy out of their shoes if they took care of themselves and lost about 20-40 pounds each. Both have no interest in trying. According to the youngest, the competition is to stiff and the reward isn't worth the grief of trying :shock: Maybe this helps explain some of the epidemic of overweight youth. Who knows, but it is telling, none the less.

 

I guess my point in all this is that I see hot women dating, or married to guys who are ugly, overweight, smelly, and rude pigs. These guys "hook up". It all depends on how you approach and play the game. These guys have proven to me that all that matters is the "wrap" you lay on the woman you're trying to bed/ court/ date/ marry (Whatever the goal)! Every woman I've ever talked to on this subject (Including a radio talkshow I was on for two hours discussing the subject :lmao: ) has stated that it has to do with a guys confidence, and the woman's ability to tolerate/ need that level of confidence in a man.

 

Example: Some women I've dated have commented that my confidence was what drew them to me (My wife is a prime example). Other women I've dated claimed I was "Cocky" and that it was a turnoff at first (This ubber hot pain in the *** woman I dated was in that court, and she was very independant) . Some women I've dated have been biatches to me, but to other men the ratio or mix of BS was tolerable or not even an issue.

 

If you're not willing to play by the rules, then you'll strike out every time. I liken it to fishing. Different bait works on different fish, No? You've got to undestand the type of woman that attracts you, and the type of woman you attract mentally as well as physically. Once you understand that aspect of the opposite sex, you can better select the women you pursue to date, and better understand when not to try. You've also got to be fair with your own assessment of yourself. If you're not giving Brad Pitt a run for his money, You'll likely crash and burn in a competition over Jennifer Anisten's replacement. Doesn't mean you should be a bottom feeder, but if you're gonna aim high, prepare for the rejection and be pleasently surprised if the door cracks open for you.

 

This is a fact of life. It also expains why some of the ugliest men on the planet attract some of the truly hottest looking women on the planet. And remember, regardless how hot they are on the outside, no matter what the measurements or how good she looks on your arm, that is just the first layer of the onion. If there is Zero spark when you kiss, houston we've got a problem... No Sustainable FIRE in the "hole". :shock: We spend a LOT more time out of the bedroom than we do in it. How many hours does a date last before you're both in compromising positions under the sheets? 2-3 hours? For what, 30 minutes and a good nap? :lmao: Point is that if you two have little in common other than headboard gymnastics, then it won't last! :lmao: If you try and force it to "work", then you'll both be miserable and you'll have wasted more time with someone who isn't truly a good fit. If you're just dating and padding your scorecard, that's great. If you're looking for your soulmate, do not walk, but RUN and get out. Don't compromise for the one you plan to be with forever. It'll cut down on your own misery level, and it will also make a truly long lasting relationship last that much longer.

 

Michael's situation was not unique... He moved to Dayton Ohio, relatively small town with factories and an Airforce base. He was a new guy in an unfamiliar town, where the pickin's were slim and the competition was fierce. I bet a lot of you guys are in that very same boat. There's still plenty of opportunity there. You just have to understand the rules, and draw from your strengths, and develop your weaknesses. It also may require you to make some personal changes as well. Again, fair self assessment is the first step to success. A willingness to make the changes to offset those less than attractive areas will go a long way to helping your chances. We don't attract flies with gasoline do we? And again, we don't swivel our heads at that size 16 dress swishing by, right? There's your answer... Know the rules of the game, or call it a day. I hear the catholic church is looking for men of Celibacy! :lmao:

 

Back to ON3Go's dilemma... No chance in hell I'd pick up and move for a girl, not without being 100% happy in my own life first... Personally, spiritually, and professionally. You've got a lot of growing and learning ahead... Good luck! :2thumbs:

 

Mike :cool:

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Wow' date=' that was brilliant michael. Coming from someone who is not good with handling tools nor ladies, I still don't have a desire to settle down with anyone permanently for a few reasons.

 

First, I'm 22, not net advanced in my career, and feel like a serious relationship would either slow me down or cause me to have to settle for a grind that pays on time, but not partcularly what I've dreamt to do with my life.

 

Biggest reason though, is that...lets face it...50% of marriages end in divorce, and many others stay together unhappily. I figure if I marry the wrong person at 28-30, I'll feel like at least the better part of my life was not wasted being unhappy, which will result in less resentment towards her.

 

Just my .02 Don't rush into anything, and think with the head up top, while factoring in what senses may be loss due to Zcar carbon monoxyde poisoning. :-)[/quote']

 

Move to the front of the class! You "get" it. :2thumbs:

 

I got married at 35, after dating for 2 years. I knew I wanted to settle down when I was 28 and I still went through a LOT of women until I met Donna shortly after turning 33. I'm SOOO glad I treated it like shopping for a car. I'd have never met her otherwise. :2thumbs:

 

Mike

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who said i wasnt happy in my life?

i am, as much as anybody at my age can be, hell im as happy as the rich guy down the street with the ferraris and big house and super model wife.

im thankful with i have and what was given to me in this life, i have no regrets and everything i have done has made me a better person or stronger in some way some how.

im not just gonna up and move there, like i said i wanna go visit a few times and see whats it like.

ive dated this girl before and ive been friends with her for years. i "get" her, she "gets" me... ill take it from there and see whats up.

 

i gotta finish my blue Z 1st anyways.. lol.

 

thanks

 

mike

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We're safe guys, he's not moving anywhere for a loooong time after that comment... "i gotta finish my blue Z 1st anyways.. lol"[/i'] hahahaha. j/k Mike ;) BTW - you know you and the situation best. Good luck and have a good time on your visit.

 

haha! its funny because is true!

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Oh, there's no doubt mike is a smart young man. That long last post was for the board in general, as I've had a number of guys contact me offline about their personal woes...

 

Mike, you may be happy with yourself, and that's great. I'd still wrap up all your projects before you move anywhere (WHich means he'll be drawing retirement from somewhere in Houston before he every moves! :lmao: ) so you don't have all that hanging over you as well.

 

This has been a fun discussion. :2thumbs:

Mike :cool:

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