S30TRBO Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I need a pick me up, a pep talk and I consider you guys family and I am in desperately in need of a sounding board as I have been down in the dumps lately. Here are the main events in my life lately: 1. The Z has been off the road for 10 months now. 2. I became a sudo parent of my 17 year old niece this past Christmas. 3. I have been fighting low back, hip and neck pain. The Z is 90% done. Here is the list of what’s left: • Swap stock crank pulley out with a modified Euro pulley and Hall sensor magnets. • Install the Taurus fan • Cover the SDS harness with Raychem DR-25 heat shield I bought and re route and install. • Mount additional gauges in gauge pod and wire • Wire fuel pump • Reinstall the exhaust with fresh O2 bung welded on, run O2 sensor harness and install Wideband O2 • Check, Check and recheck wire connections and A/N fittings • Test Fire! • Tune, Tune, Tune! My niece has had it rough the past couple of years and so she asked if she could live with my girlfriend and me for awhile, at least until she graduates from high school. She is from Florida where I am originally from, a senior with a full load now that she’s here to play catch up. In addition to regular school she has 2 evening high school classes and one online class to make up for last semester and she has to get a job at a non profit or a regular job to obtain 135 hours (cut in half from 270 since she missed 1st semester) to fulfill her graduation requirements. She wants to graduate this year and this is what she needs to do to make it happen. I am excited and petrified in the same breath. We are pretty young to take over the care of a teenager, but I am hoping we can give her the love and structure and stability that she needs. She moved in with us and our four furry kids (2 cats, 2 Greyhounds) on December 15th . If all goes well she will be graduating this year. I have no other kids of my own (I'm 34) and I stepped up to the plate in my family and took her in to give her the structure and guidance she needs to help her succeed in life. From Zero to a 17 year old is freaking nuts but we are doing well so far. Now onto the third topic, prior to the accident I had some back pain, bulging disc L4/L5 S1/S2 and I was diagnosed with degenerative disc. I was treating since 2000 and before the accident I was going every few months for an adjustment just to maintain. I was involved in my first ever car accident Valentines Day 2006. I was not at fault as I was t-boned less than 25mph then hit head on. Since then my life has changed. I have been going to a Chiropractor twice a week, I have been to 2 different Orthopedic Surgeons, one Neurosurgeon and Pain Management Specialist. I have had all kinds of physical therapy, lumbar epidural steroid injections, facet block, lidocaine injection, electromyography (nerve test) and now acupuncture. I have been told I have arthritis and bursitis in my hips, the electromyography results were negative and I was told it was muscle and not nerve. I continue to have sharp, stabbing, throbbing, warm at times very painful feelings that alternate down each leg from my low back. The pain is sometimes in one leg or the other or both. Lately I had my 3rd acupuncture appointment and they seem to work for about 12- 24 hours then I am back to “normalâ€. If the acupuncture doesn't work the Pain Management Specialist wants me to have a disco gram performed and I might need to have a single disc replaced (not fused). In the past 2 months, with the increase in stress from being a sudo parent, stress at work, I feel like my hips and lower back are getting considerably worse. I am at the point were I am going to get a third opinion and find another Pain Management Specialist as I believe the pain in my legs and hips triggered by my low back is nerve and not muscle. I tend to take on many chores around the house, Amy and my niece do help out and my Amy says I always overdo it and I pay for it in the end. I am the only man in the house and things need to get done: PM on the cars, Yard, cleaning house to name a few, now add the 17 year old in the mix and multiply how I feel and now you get an idea of where I am coming from. Add the work to the Z in the equation and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of not feeling well and I need to suck it up and get out there. One of my Z wrenching buddies and good friend moved to Vegas and everyone else has other obligations not to mention some live far away so I lost my Z wrenching buds and gear head friends. I have not had the motivation that I had when the boys would come over and we would get some serious wrenching done. Alright let me stop, I’d appreciate any feedback concerning any of the above topics. I just need to get back on the right track as I have lost my focus. Please help me figure things out…. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowCarbZ Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Well, the first things to get yourself back on track to health physically and mentally would be what fuels you. So eating right, exercise, good social balance etc. will help you greatly in staying motivated. Getting started will be the hardest part but if you make it a routine everything else will fall into place. If you sit around feeling upset and sorry for yourself life will pass you by and you'll only feel worse. If you occupy yourself your mind will naturally stray away from the negative. Think of how you treat your body this way: You wouldn't put diesel oil and cheap fuel in your Z so why put it in your body? Eat right and get healthy to help your body heal. Once you get yourself straightened out that way and motivated you can then start to tackle the bigger things. The Z is the least of your worries at the moment. Surround yourself with good friends and a positive atmosphere, find some sort of exit. I also found myself to be lacking in the motivation I used to have. A friend of mine mentioned that he'd been Vitamin B12 deficient which made him "lazy" so to speak as he didn't ever have energy to do anything. After getting a B12 shot from his doctor annually he's been much better. I started taking B12 Vitamins and I found it helped. Whether it's just a placebo as a mental thing or not it worked. So, something else to consider but it also goes hand in hand with diet. I'm only 24 but i've put my body through hell having raced Motocross for 10+ years and suffered various injuries and brutal crashes. So I know what you mean about daily pain. I have a shouler out of alignment, very little cartiledge left in my one knee, I blew every tendon/ligament and fractured some main bones in my ankle in my later teenage years. That stuff never really goes away. After a while of ignoring it and staying active though you sort of forget it's there. If you ever need anyone to talk to just PM me. I'm that guy that all my friends and even people I barely know seem to turn to for a talk or advice. I'm just approachable I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woldson Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Gluglocimin, conjoinsime SP? That joint crap, I take it once to twice a day, depending. Get it at costco, there brand, kirkland. Found it to be outstanding stuff. What you have is complicated, however, with the ligaments "loosening" up has given me10x relief. Won't hurt to try. Family frist, car second. You see the car will not age, meaning irreparable damage having to wait for someone to get it going. (as long as it is stored correctly;) ) What you can do for her in two years is priceless and rewarding for ever. Most children in distress need order and disciple begotten from love, not a buddy. There life is chaos, mind is confused, they need someone to care, anyone can offer a shoulder to cry on, only few can present them with leadership. One last thing, I know this is VERY controversial, if see models her life around you guys, she may never get married. Now I only say this cause I (meaning ME) will be very sad if my daughters will not be able to find a Man willing to dedicate his life to either of them. If this is not a concern of yours, please disregard, as for others, this was for him and his situation, he can take it or leave it. I"M TALKING TO HIM! BTW, kinda sucks to be soooo close on the car, but, life calls:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slownrusty Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Joe - You are a good guy man! My 280ZX was off the road for 2+years but I was determined to finish it, I never adopt the idea that I will let my car get the better of me. If you are 90% done, you are C-L-O-S-E! Don't give up. Further proof that you are a good guy is the fact that you have taken your niece under your wing to give her guidance, support and most importanty a family member that cares. The rewards will come, if not now, eventually. On your back pain, hang in there bro. Lots of therapy and don't over do it. Listen when your body talks to you. And remember to exercise, get a great therapist and specialist you trust (as there alot of flakes out there). I am assuming you have a supportive and loving GF, that can make any situation so so much better. Having encouragement and love under your roof is very healing. I have gone through a terrible past 7months, that was life changing and trying to stay positive and keep my thoughts focused and on the up and up. A successful person is not measured by how high a ladder they can climb but how high they can bounce when they are at the lowest point on their life. Always. Yasin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZZZeee Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Firstly, I'll say I agree with rusty. You're very kind and generous to take on the onerous task of helping to care for a teenager. However, she sounds mature and hard-working so it should work out fine. Secondly, and I really don't intend to minimize your physical pain nor emotional suffering but, if what's happened so far is the worst it ever gets, then count your lucky stars my friend. Please remember that many folks have had it much worse. I wish I could remember some witty comment or a profound proverb to share with you but my mind is shot so I'll leave it at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philipl Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 God! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZZZeee Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 God! Did I err? I didn't intend to sound unhelpful or unsupportive. Quite the opposite, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skib Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 as far as having your niece there, treat here like an equal for the most part, she sounds like a hard workin kid who can take care of her self for the most part, just have a roof over her head and tell her if she needs a hand to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S30TRBO Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Joe - You are a good guy man! My 280ZX was off the road for 2+years but I was determined to finish it, I never adopt the idea that I will let my car get the better of me. If you are 90% done, you are C-L-O-S-E! Don't give up. Further proof that you are a good guy is the fact that you have taken your niece under your wing to give her guidance, support and most importanty a family member that cares. The rewards will come, if not now, eventually. On your back pain, hang in there bro. Lots of therapy and don't over do it. Listen when your body talks to you. And remember to exercise, get a great therapist and specialist you trust (as there alot of flakes out there). I am assuming you have a supportive and loving GF, that can make any situation so so much better. Having encouragement and love under your roof is very healing. I have gone through a terrible past 7months, that was life changing and trying to stay positive and keep my thoughts focused and on the up and up. A successful person is not measured by how high a ladder they can climb but how high they can bounce when they are at the lowest point on their life. Always. Yasin Thanks for the inspiring words Yasin, you are a true friend. I had a hellish day on Saturday with my back and Sunday was my B-Day; we took a trip to the D.C. Auto Show then for some authentic Italian pizza! She is great man to say the least. We are a united front and I don’t know what I would do without her! Thanks to everyone else for some encouraging words thus far. It's really hard sometimes with someone you didn’t have for the first 17 years and now to try to make them accustom to what you think is the right way and wrong way of doing something. I'll check into the over the counter meds ZedNotZee and woldson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesse OBrien Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I completely agree that staying active and productive keeps me happiest. Some days it's harder than others to stay positive. I had a snowboarding accident a few years back that tore the tendons on my lower hamstrings. After a year of physical therapy, something healed wrong and if I stand still for a long period of time, I end up with excruciating pain. Some days the pain gets bad enough that I can't walk, but I generally stay focused on a task and just get through it. After I've finished that task, I feel better than if there were no pain, because I had overcome something that seemed completely insurmountable. Oh, and happy birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polarity Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 240ztt, something that was said earlier that can't be stressed enough is make sure you're getting the care you need and deserve. Get a second, third, forth, tenth opinion if you have to. Don't settle for one someones solution that isn't working. I hurt my back when I was 16 (got hit by a truck) to this day I have pain (I'm 26), but it wasn't until 5 or 6 years ago that I talked to a therapist about proper things to do everyday that relieved alot of my pain. You're never going to just magically get better, but with the proper information you can make it much more manageable, and once you've done that it's alot easier to get the other things in your life on track. Until you get to that point, take it easy a little, maybe pay a local neighborhood kid $10 to cut the grass for you or other small odds and ends stuff. On a more personal side, I think what you're doing for your niece is amazing. It sounds like you both have your heads on straight and are doing all you can (for her and yourself) to have a happy life. Good luck -William Ronie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S30TRBO Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Thanks for the b-day wishes and the continued support everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckolander Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 It may sound like a lot of phooey, but get Shark Cartiledge. I know that Vitamine Shoppe carries it. I broke my neck when I was 16, was told I would never walk again(I run) and started having allergic reactions to the pain meds. My crackpot mother who I hadn't talked to in 7 years showed up at my foster home and gave me a bottle. It didn't work right away, but a few weeks later I started feeling a lot better, able to move easier. I stand by it. About your neice, relax, in allowing her to stay with you and providing a stable environment, you have literally given her a whole new start to life. and on that note, thats all I got. Chuck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
attworth Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I'm not sure of the situation with your niece but I will offer you what I went through and continue to go through with my step-father. My dad died in 06. He was my best friend, but not the type that just let me run wild. We had a true respect for eachother that went deeper than anything I can even explain. My mother was re-married a few months following his death, and I was basically forced to live with another man I barely knew. I ended up leaving and doing my own things for about 6 months before I ran back home. It was a wonderful healing experience not having to be subjected to both the pain of losing my father, and the pain of my mother marrying this "other guy." But it was possibly more rewarding coming back home to my mom and her husband. Here I sit, almost 3 years later, and I've come to really respect and love my step-dad. It's not because I had some enlightening experience, or have even fully healed from the pain. It's because he was patient with me. I think that is the key to any "new" relationship. He knew I hated him for a while, because truly I did. I loathed his very being. But he was still patient, still willing to listen to me. I fought and I fought and no matter what I did, he was always patient. He slowly pushed his rules on me. Not forcefully, and not all at once. Little by little, he showed me how things ran in his house. I still have little quarrells with the way he does things, but ultimately I've come to respect everything that he has to say, even if it's outlandish. I've since gotten married and moved on, but I still go to my mom's house to see her and her husband. The point I'm trying to make is that you should try to be patient with your neice as she gets acclimated to her new environment. Just remember that we are all primal on the inside and if given the chance, we can and will act on those primal tendancies. I wouldn't say you need to play the ultimate dicatator in her life - she's beyond that at 17. The best thing you can do in my opinion is always be a sounding board, always be open to her thoughts and ideas, but don't be afraid to tell her how things are supposed to be done. In that note, don't get angry if that's not how it gets done - at least not outwardly. You're not looking for a friend, but you are looking for a strong relationship. I feel that anger doesn't do anything but hinder that process. I wish you all the best in your situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S30TRBO Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 Well we made it through. My niece gets back on the plane tomorrow to return to Florida. It has been a very long road for all of us. Let me tell you, she cut it close. She barely made it through graduation after failing her final online government test twice and running out of retakes. The high school and school board bent over backwards and allowed her one final chance to pass. They allowed her one shot to take the first semester government final that she wasn’t even here for as she started school in the second semester. She took the pre-test and passed with an 80% and the teacher said that’s good enough you don’t have to take the final. Let me tell you this generation expects everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. It’s all about me and what you can do for me… /rant. Well I think Amy and I did all that we can for her. She is going back to Florida with a better understanding of life in general, a high school diploma and a plan. Hearing from the rest of the family and her friends she has changed more than we thought. She will be working towards getting her license, a job and a car. I gave her the tools for signing up for financial aid and all the links possible to the local state college and what she needs to start familiarizing herself with. Amy and I are exhausted, stressed and broke. I just started a new job with more money; she starts a new job with more money in a few weeks so hopefully our cushion will come back to normal. We are planning a vacation later this year. I received my court date for my personal injury case in November. I have to go to an IME independent medial exam next week. Wish me luck! I was able to work on the Z a little bit during this time, but I hope soon will ramp up. I am so worried about starting the Z since it has been down almost a year since taking off the SUs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLSHLE Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Exhausted, stressed and broke Welcome to parenthood. You did a GOOD thing. Take pride. It was a selfless act in a hard time. You change a life for the good. I hope as time goes by you can appreciate the good she has brought and will bring into your lives. I'm glad my 6 kids are grown. Now it's fun with grandkids. (Wind-up, buy annoying toys and send home) I hope your back is better, or at least it's manageable. Good luck in court. You always have friends here, maye we can't help wrench, only inspire. Good Job Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavyZ Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Wishing you the very best, Joe. You did do the right thing and I hope you are rewarded for your efforts. Nice to hear someone is making more money nowadays too Davy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S30TRBO Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 Thanks for the kind words Randy and Davy. This weekend was weird. I kept looking out the front door waiting for her to come home or the phone to ring. Even though I didn't have her for the full 18 years, 7 months felt like years. We are slowly starting to adjust back and both have grown from where we were...... On another note, we had our 3 year anniversary this past Saturday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trowa47 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 lol i think diesel oil is the best oil you can put in your z zddp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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