datsunlover Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Ok, here's the rundown: About 6 weeks ago, a good friend buys a 96 monte carlo for his girl friend (of about 2 months) and the deal is he'll (well, him and I) fix it up and she'll pay him back when her tax's come back. My efforts will result in a case of beer. Fine by me. It definatly needs tires for the safety check and MY girl frinend happens to have a set from her old car that will fit (and are almost NEW I might add!) A deal is made that my friend will give her $125 for the set of tires, in two weeks when he gets his next pay cheque. No problem... So we start working on the car, and it turns out, the rear end is rusted badly, but the guy who sold it to my friend feels bad and is going to give him some cash back. My friend says "Well, I'll give your girl her cash when this guy gives me back some money." Ok.. sounds reasonable... but we're going on 3 weeks now... I do get my case of beer though, so let's let it ride... I KNOW he got money from the seller, but I didn't hear anything about it.. the next thing is "Oh.. well, I'll give her the money for the tires when I get paid for the car which should be next week when her taxes come in." Guess what.. She didn't get back as much as she thought, she paid him for MOST of the car/parts, and she's broke now. Week 4... Well, the car is on the road, changed over to HER name, and she's driving it around town! So I politely ask my friend: "Hey.. uh, my girl's wondering if you can give her any money for the tires yet?" and he says "Oh man... Well, I'm really broke this week, but she is going to get $100 FROM A SCRAP GUY for her old car.. (a rusted out 91 honda civic 4 door.. apparently scrap is up?) Oh, and he spent close to $500 this week on new brake componants for his dually/hotrod truck (summer toy, not the daily driver 06 Cobalt SS that he leases... ) Week 5.. Now my buddys girlfriend has quit her job. She has two small girls (not planed, their father is a dipshit farkoff drug dealer, not really in the picture anymore, but still 'around', ect.. getting the picture?) and is bringing back all her 'rent to own' stuff that she can't afford anymore. Still driving the car though... Enter Week 6.. Today, my buddy shows up around 11am while I'm working on the garage and his girlfriend shows up a few minits later. She is VERY hung over from partying at the bars last night, (and jokes about it, yada yada.) We shoot the poop for a bit.. Boo hoo, she has to move back in with her mother for a while, and then I hear talk of her going tomorrow to get a tatoo done!?!?! So she leaves (to go back to bed I guess..) and I ask my friend.. "So... is she getting that car towed away soon then?" "Oh yah, some time this week I think" Well, I've heard that before... Basicaly, this is really getting on my nerves, and MY girl friend is NOT happy, as you might imagine. It's only $125, but it's the principal of it.. and well, it's $125!!!!! I can't see any other way to resolve this stupid issue, other than freaking out at him, and loosing a friendship in the process... (Him and I basicaly worked for 6 months straight on his truck, and he's helped me quit a bit with my house.. he is/was one of a very few 'good' friends I keep) Although, he's not a stupid person and I'm SURE he's thought about this.. so.. I guess maybe he just doesn't give a shite and I shouldn't worry about 'losing' anything? Just venting really... I think I can see where this is going, just wondering if anyone has some thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbk240z Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Just be straight up and honest about you concerns. If he is really a friend, he will understand and do something about it. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillZ260 Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 its 125 bucks, let it ride. Someone here has put it better than this here before but money and friends don't mix. If you ever give a buddy money, consider it a gift. IF he gives it back then your good, if not then oh well, you were helping out a friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikelly Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 You're learning a valuable lesson about friends and money... I've got one or two good friends on here I've helped out, and would again in a heart beat... I've got one person besides my wife and kids (and of course my parents who I give money every month to help out) who I'd give money or the keys to my porsche. He has the capabilities of paying me back, would, and would never hang me out to dry... What you'll find is that you have a lot of friends who you might think are like my friend described above, but when the rubber meets the road, few are there when it truly counts... That's why my best friend is also my business partner. We trust and can count on each other... And we're under no illusions as to where we stand with the rest of the world. Figure that one out early enough in life and you're well on your way... Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelToad Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 ... I can't see any other way to resolve this stupid issue, other than freaking out at him, and loosing a friendship in the process ... Newsflash ::: You've already lost the friendship. Give your girlfriend $125, appologize to her for involving her in the whole mess, and continue on with your life. Just drop the other couple off your list of people to worry about. Who knows, maybe someday you'll see your money back, but dont hold your breath, or stay upset, till then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quicker240 Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Count yourself as EXTREMELY lucky it only cost you $125 to find out what kind of person your aquaintance is.I use that term because a real friend wont do you that way,ever! Just let it go,and get back to living happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datsunlover Posted April 1, 2007 Author Share Posted April 1, 2007 Well, perhaps a little more background here.. I HAVE had issues in the past with 'friends and money' and under most circumstances do NOT let the two mix. I've chased people for $$$, lost my shirt on deals, ect.. You see, I do have another friend that I've known for almost 10 years; I've lent money to him, and I've borrowed from him (In fact, he actually lent me over $400, when I bought the Z!!) and we always conclude our deals with no issues. I sell him something, he pays for it. We've worked out weekly payback plans, trades, ect and are still 100% good friends. Now, this guy who owes my girl $125, I THOUGHT he was now one of 'those' friends... I've known him for about 4 years, we've done a lot of work together on his shop and truck, my house, snowmobiles, ect ect, and it just BUGS me how this whole thing has gone. It's either one of two things; He doesn't see it as a big issue, or he just doesn't care... Oh, and yes, at this point I think it goes without saying that I'm likely going to give my girl her money and take the hit, cause hey.. I thought this guy would be above board and really, it's my fault she's out a set of tires easily worth twice what she asked for. (funny that she set a cheep price cause it was 'for my friend' don't you think?) Maybe I'll tell him thats what I did, and see if it motivates him to pay ME back then.. maybe he has a little more respect for me? Hmmmm.... Well, I guess I have to buy an engine stand now too, as my 355 is sitting on this guys stand that I borrowed a few months ago. He said "Yah, sure, I'm not using it right now anyway. Just bring it back when the motors in the car, in case I need it this summer" Well.... The way this thing is going, I'm sure he's gona want it back suddenly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZR8ED Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Yup. Consider it a gift. Tell him (calmly) that it was a big deal to your G/F and that she was trying to help out and gave him a deal. Tell him that you have now covered her off, and he can now repay you when he's got some cash. Don't make it into a big deal with him. You now know where he stands with you. Don't burn a bridge over 125.00. ya never know when you may need one. Cut your losses, and distance yourself from any $ deals with him again. Cheers. Scott. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexideways Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 I would go and ask for the tires back... she can take the money for her stupid USELESS tattoo and go buy herself some tires and maybe skip a drinking night or two Ho! Yeah, maybe she should get a job instead of relying on her "boyfriend's friend's girlfriend" to get around. My $0.02. I've lost so much money to so many "friends" (one of them alone owes me $5000), that I don't mind to much about loosing contact with people that take advantage of my good heart and natural tendency of wanting to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeeZ Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 YOU pay your girl friend, because it is not her fault and she trusted you and get a new BEST friend. Forget about it. It is a life learning experience. Two absolutes in life (in my life): 1. NEVER rent to friends or family. 2. NEVER hire friends or family. 3. NEVER lend money to friends or family (Whoops, there's 3) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
typhoone Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 i do a good bit of computer work on the side and i have found that giving a person's computer back before they have paid me is a nice idea, but i have to turn into dick tracy to find them and then do it again and again to get the money they owe me...BUT i have found that keeping their computer until i get full payment, things go MUCH smoother. My solution for you, you have his engine stand, he owes you $125, he gets engine stand when you get $125. i know that $125 is a good bit more than the cost of an engine stand, but hell, why waste your time buying one if you already have a perfectly good one already holding up your engine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TONY C Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 I'm sorry to hear about your so called "friend". I personally would not worry about burning the bridge. Finding someone to STEAL your money or tires is not hard to find anywhere. A REAL friend is. Cut your losses while that is all he is into you for. Heck, it sounds like you got better friends in this forum than this guy. Oh yeah, keep the stand. Your girl payed for it anyway. Remember. there is no honor among thieves. And you have been robbed. tc. I also say post his phone # and we will all call him out on it. I hate people that take advantage of others good nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
280zwitha383 Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Well, it sounds to me like the guy has helped you out before with your house, projects whatever. You have his engine stand that he's letting you use. It's not like he's a complete leach. Some people see owing other people money differently than we do. Say if I was to borrow $200 from someone the next $200 I got would go to them. HE on the other hand might not see it that way. It might be to him that you have a good friendship and he can pay you back when it is comfortable to him. A few years ago I built one of my friends a pretty nice computer for the time and asked $250 for it. This was before you could go and get a brand new almost top of the line computer at best buy for $300 (after rebates). I gave hime the computer and he replied, "when do you want the money"? HUH?! I thought, I want it now! You can't pay for a computer that you just bought from me? We agreed it would be the first of the month. About 5 months past and finally we worked out a deal to where he paid for something else for me. I asked him MANY times about the money and of course it was always some sad story and something or someone else needed the money more than I did. Some people just don't see things the same. Now with this guy it makes it even more interesting because it's his girlfriend and to him it's probably more of her responsibility. I do really hate it when someone owes you something and they're talking about going out and spending it on something that is hardly needed though. That's really annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pop N Wood Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Maybe if you tell him you had to make good on your debt to your girl it will prompt him to make good with you. If not, well then what they said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datsunlover Posted April 2, 2007 Author Share Posted April 2, 2007 Thanks for all the replys folks. A strange thing though, I told my girlfriend I'm gona give her the money tomorrow (payday for me) and she says she doesn't want me to!?!? She's saying it's her problem cause she let him have the tires without getting money up front, and took his word that he'd come good in two weeks. I respect her for thinking that way, but I am not willing to just let it go like that. Obviously, if I hadn't asked her if she wanted to sell them, the tires would still be sitting in her parents garage! Which by the way, is FULL of 'stuff' and there will be a huge garage sale in a few weeks.. but I'll bet SOMEONE would have ponied up some cash for these tires and no way in HELL would they leave without paying! Hmmm.. I agree with the 'differing thoughts' about re-payment of monies.. seams some people figure the closer you are to someone (or the better you know them) there is more leaway and flexibility in pay back time.. And to boot, buying frivolous things instead of paying me back.. Like this morning for example; driving 15 mins into town (this guy lives a ways out) to buy a coffee, and smokes, and a case of BEER!!! And then complaining to me how broke he is?!?! Oh well.. I guess I know where I stand with this guy now, and if I never see the $$$ so be it. I'm not getting involved with him and money anymore, and frankely, my point of view is I could do evrything 'we' have done, by myself, it just might have taken longer. So I'll probly remain 'accuainted' with him, as there are times when it's good to have some extra help on something, but sad to say I think he's off the list of 'true good friends' now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillZ260 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Of course you can keep the engine stand in leiu of the cash as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jwink25 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Well, I too learned that friends and money dont always work out. I got burned for over $2000 and lost a best friend over it (now my brother-in-law). I still can't believe that it happened the way it did. To make a long story short... I leant him $$$ over 5 months and gave him a place to stay. I was helping him through a tough time. I ended up getting him a job where I work that paid alot more than what he had been getting. And guess what the first thing he does is...he goes out and buys a truck for $2000 cash instead for paying me anything! He already had a truck and a car. He in no way needed this thing. Grrr....sorry I'll stop while I'm ahead. I have yet to see my money and it's been many months now. I am glad you only lost $125. I hope it works out for you. Jason Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperPickle Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 If it makes you feel any better, I'm out almost $6,000 in a broken lease, and lost a house's worth of stuff (furniture, library, clothes, etc.) because of a 'close friend'. He actually once stated that friends are there to be used. Sounds like him and your friend would get along famously! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datsunlover Posted April 3, 2007 Author Share Posted April 3, 2007 Well, I just talked to the guy on the phone.. he's pretty drunked up at the moment, so I'm not sure if he even comprehends what I just told him (I gave my girl her money today, so now he owes ME) but whatever. I'm too buisy with evrything else in my life right now to waste energy being pissed off. Work's getting buisy but there's not enough manpower, my garage roof is leaking/falling down and the front porch is coming off the house, the truck and Z need attention, and I'm not gona add MORE stress just for the sake of $125. Oh, and I believe that the engine stand is in MY garage, on MY property, so and this point, its as good mine anyway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeeZ Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Like you said: " Wisdom is knowing what to overlook" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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