I dont' know what you guys are doing if your spool-up is over 3k. with my stage 3 turbine, and H3 compressor, I was at full boost, 20+ psi by 2800 rpms. Now with a stage 5 I am still there by 3200 rpms, so you should be checking something.
My personal position is you will get much better spool-up by ditching the stock Wastegate actuator, and running a dual port, and using a boost controller to introduce boost to the lower port for raising and lowering your boost.
Also, you can put any wheel you want in a housing, but I would put an E housing on my car, and run an E wheel. If you want better spool-up, consider a .48 ar turbine housing, I had one, it will make your car brutal from a dead stop, you notice it will fall over in the upper rpms. Also you could go to the stage 2 turbine wheel, which has less mass, and as sleeper pointed out, it is the turbine that really determines spool up.
I would run a 3 inch exhaust, and convert over to a mass air system, like a 300 ZXT VG30 arrangment, alot of people have that down now, and the MAF is way more responsive then the AFM.
Sleeper, your issue with upper rpm power could be your turbine wheel.