Ummm... How do I talk to my 13 year old son about the "M" word?

[e_racer1999]

^i just saw that last night!

[Armand]

Honestly I don't see what the problem is. Your son masturbating is completely normal, and 13 isn't really THAT young of an age to start. The only thing I would be concerned about is the underwear thing, that's just a bit weird. But as far as the masturbation goes I'd say let it be. My parents never talked to me about sex or masturbating or anything related. I just found out everything through people or reading stuff on the internet and Im perfectly fine. Put it this way, if there is a guy who doesn't masturbate in his lifetime, somethings wrong with him. LOL

[Wedge]

Talk to him about it a little not too much because having your dad talking about masturbation with you is weird but bring out the facts tell him to do this alone and be clean and let him be . No porn if possible because its not the way 90% of the people have sex . Like some others said let him find the porn by him slef its gonna be embarasing enough

[naviathan]

My father never had any of what would be considered "THE" talks with me. He pretty much stayed out of my life even though we lived in the same house. I'm a little mixed on the don't embarrass by asking or talking about it views. In some ways I wish my father had talked to me about these things when I was younger, but then on the other hand I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder growing up and probably would have felt insulted by it. Of course that chip was probably due to his lack of interest in me or anything I did. One thing I know for sure is, I know I would have been much more comfortable talking to him on a man to man level about women. More along the lines of hey what do I think of this or that or maybe some guidance on how to act with girlfriends. To be completely honest, I've never been good with women. I'm very shy at first and I really have no idea what to say to someone I don't know. I didn't even have a girlfriend until I was 16 and she came at me (guess that supports the whole women are so aggressive men don't have a chance quote). It's obvious he's in the stage that you need to talk to him, but the way you approach it will make all the difference as to whether he comes to you when he needs advice or pulls completely away. Treat him like your equal, as though he's a friend you've known all your life, lost contact with and are just getting back together and finding out what each other has been up to. Dad's can be very threatening to young men that are trying to do their own thing. Especially if there's a control issue there or maybe an embarrassing moment that sticks in his head. In any event this is the time to get involved in his life more than ever. Not invasive, just a friend on the outside looking in. I think back on my life and I really wish my father was around more when I was growing up. To this day I still can't talk to him about anything of a personal nature. most of our conversations consist of "how's work, anything new? Ok have a good day." Just some food for thought.

[CalifaThugz]

Me being 14 myself, 1 year older. I say the best way to approach on asking or telling him about what he is doing, is find something you both like doing. You know have fun start laughing and everything. When it gets quiet all of a sudden. Ask him if he has a girlfriend or something then slowly work up to what you are asking. I wish my father would have had talks with me. Just like two or so weeks ago, he asked me if I have had sexual relations with my current girlfriend. Of course I said no because it was true. I would of said no if I had too. He then said "use a condom" out of the blue or out of nowhere. Since we have been going out for 6 months now. If you read the thread I started I said premarital sex was wrong for me and I didn't go that way until I was actually married. Was getting out of subject there, but yea approach him when you both are having fun. Don't want to rush to the question. Don't automatically say you know he is. If he denies it, say the wrong things that can happen if he does and all. Maybe after the talk you guys have he will think twice before he does it.

By the way what is so bad about masturbation?

[Some-Guy]

Just make sure he doesn't turn out like me having his first born before his 19th bday with a girl thats 17. Altho we did get married eventualy So it wasnt all bad

[proxlamus©]

 

Hang this in the bathroom and the back of his door

[z-hag]

so your kid now is getting hjormones-----what is so wrong aboot that????? you all remember when you were 13-----there IS a physiological cycle guys have----until yer too old to do it anymore, every 2 weeks there is a popoff valve in dudes--they either have to get someone or play rosie palm-----you all know this, as ypu go thru it all the time--older guyz is aboot 1 month--slows down--but the cycle is still there.

this must be addressed or there are too many preggers females in the world......rosie palm has a place in all mens lives----cop to it now or the kid will be more twisted than are you-------figger it out--you are the dudes here--i am just a female----when my kid (boy) turnned 13, i knew he was getting hormones because of all trhe bs boys do when that time comes around and the playboy mags under the bed----and i was a single parent, so there was no dude to blame that on----just the kid-----let him enjoy his time alone--it is much needed----remember?????.....just guide him and he should be ok.......redirecting from sex doesnt mean it is gone or forgotten-----dont try to make things euphemistic.......tell him like it is------rosie palm and her daughters are a very largwe part of a man's life----his first mistress, as it were----let him knowe it is ok and mom's undies are off limits---if he wants draWERS, TAKE HIM TO THE LINGERIE STORE AND HELP HIM FIND SOME.oops.....some guys like stuff like that--it is not wrong--just his way. have fun with your son and remember they all grow up--usually sooner than you want them to.....

 

 

 

 

and all this from a female.............do not sweat the small stuff.........

ps--kittens have 9 lives..........

[260zturbo]

the school should also have a BIG class talk about all that but its still good that you talk to him. hope you get your wifes panties back thats just a little weird.

[SonOfZZZap]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation

[280zwitha383]

Well, there is a point to saying that making him feel like sex is bad and that wanting to look at girly pictures is horrible. It will give him a complex. You should explain that all of the desires are natural but they do need to be governed in some way. People that are raised with the impression that all sex is bad and that it's aweful to want to look at a woman usually turn out to be the worst and it is noted to be a trait in psycho's early childhood. Since it is so bad in their mind but they can't overcome it, they eventually embrace it (I guess).

[woldson]

I agree with 383, no one really said it is bad. As a parent you must always keep the bar a little higher then you think is real life. The reason with this is that they will always fall a little below it. If you meet them on there level the bar will continue to fall. Just give them somthing to think about and a foundation to talk to them later when the ladies come knocking. Children acually desire discipline and a authoity figure to look up to. It gives them focus on problems they can not fully grip themselves. Btw that dose not mean being a dick, it means someone they can look up to, even if they dont like what is being said. This is why children need parents and not buddies to grow! P.S. I am married and father of 3 wonderful kidlets, 1 boy 2 girls.

[z-hag]

remember how you wwere when you were 13 and go from there---my naybore sez he was all little head---hormones --from age 13-20------just as were all of you......remember what you wanted yer dads to talk with you aboot and go from there..........

[CArFAn]

if you want him to stop completely tell him that it will fall off if you masturbate over 50 times

[Careless]

well, i would just be like.

 

"hey, ... what'cha doing in your room?!"

 

"NOTHING!"

 

"if nothing means touching yourself, am I going to come in and see you doing nothing?"

 

just make sure he doesn't say yes. try and talk him out of saying yes. and if he refuses to say no, open the door, and say "i thought you were doing nothing!"

 

or one day when your wife breaks into the door, he might have his shlong in his hand, and pull the old... "uhhh, hey.... mom.... does this thing over here look ok? i was curious so i was rubbing to make it come out"

 

then you know there's a problem on your hands, and his, if he does it too often.... (but at 13... what is "too often", anways?)