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Tough Times Need Support


dr_hunt

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I am the product of a single mother household and I like to think that I've turned out fine. I did and still do love my mother, and think she was great.

 

BUT, there were (and are) a lot of things that I've had to learn for myself that would've been much easier had someone been around to teach me, including things that you probably wouldn't think of. I had no idea what the hell 'credit' was or how it worked until I was 18. I had no idea how to repair anything other than a computer. I did not know anything about responsibility or finances. I didn't even know how to handle myself around other men.

 

It took joining the Marine Corps to get a little backbone.

 

My father never really took an interest in our lives until after his second wife left him in '04. I finally met the guy 6 months ago, and I must say I'm not impressed.

 

All that said, I really do wish you the best of luck in this ordeal, and I hope it does turn out for the best for you and especially your son. Boys really do need a dad.

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Got him in high school here, today is his first day. Got connections with the drivers ed teacher so got him in that also. Basketball game today after school so I will go check that out and he and I will talk to the coach and see if we can get him on the team.

 

He still says it is the best decision he has ever made and he is happy and content with it. He says it is better than he thought it would be. Hopefully his first day at a new high school is a good one and just one of many more.

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Congratulations Doc! I'm glad everything is going smooth for you.

 

Oh, there is noise going on in the background, rest assured. My main focus is that he is in school and that he is happy. It is his decision and I am supporting it. I have never asked him to choose. Living with me or his mother made no difference to me although I always thought it would be better for him to live with me as he would have more opportunities to learn more.

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Kids can make you pull your hair out huh? Part of "growin' some balls" needs to include the knowledge that its tough to raise a kid even in a perfect world. Pressure and stress and worry can make people do strange things. The goal here should be to get through the bad current situation with an eye on the future. That future including a relationship with his mom. One that he can control the terms of. If she stays crazy, it can be a long distance phone call with best wishes for a happy whatever. Family is really all you got in this world and having a civil relationship, even with crazy family, IS important. My mom is totally disturbed but I love her because she is my mom. Thats it. Period. I am also glad she lives 3 states away. I wish you the best of luck with your custody situation and hope the result is best for you all. The smartest thing you can do is remind him that even though things are crazy right now, there is the possibility that in the future, when everybody is an adult, things CAN change for the better and even if they don't, he will be the better man if he lets go of the hate, whether she deserves it or not. And I can not agree enough with what has already been said before about it not being your place to badmouth his mom. He can make his own decisions about that. Having some understanding and forgiveness in your heart is my definition of "being a man and growin' a pair". Got to let go of the past and move on. If you weren't a hero to him before, now is your chance. I have faith. Best wishes.

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He loves school here and the teachers and everything, he says he has never been so happy. Got him in drivers ed and next week he will start on the football team and the golf team. Court here next week, and then court again the week after that. Judge wants to talk with him in chambers before the hearing. I would imagine things will go his way but you never know. At least finally someone is willing to listen to his voice and his wishes, it is not a tug of war, just what is in his best interest IMO.

 

The principal had some nice things to say about him today, he is enjoying life, real life that is.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, it's partially settled out of court. The criminal charges are still pending against his mother and on hold till this gets done. He stays with me, she doesn't pay child support in the interim, we go to a psych expert (waste of time), she gets 3 weekends of visitation a month starting with supervised visitation and gradually working into regular visitation but only if he wants to see her which he does not at this time. If he has sports, then she doesn't get him at all. She brings all his belongings tonight or the deal is off.

 

When the psych expert determines if the abuse is real or not then we go to court later and then she has to face the music then but my son doesn't have to testify against his mother, only the psych moron.

 

Best I could do and the best in my mind to end the trauma for now for my boy.

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What your going through is a small price to pay. Hopefully all the payments have been made. Soon enough you'll be sitting at an Isotopes game with your son, eating hot dogs and explaining the finer points of base stealing.

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