josh817 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 (edited) Now what do I do? He's up in Rhode Island, I'm here in Texas with school. I want to be at his funeral but missing class is risky. How does everyone else in school do this? It was sad to hear my momma cry. He had a stroke last September and since then the doctors think he's been having mini strokes. When I visited him in January he remembered me but kept saying he had to go to football practice and everything. He wasn't aware that he wasn't at home. Then just 2 days ago he got pneumonia and went back to the hospital. By this point my grandmother said he wasn't the same. You would walk in and he wouldn't even realize you were there. Ask him questions, and he wouldn't respond. I'm not really the crying type. Hard to get tears out. I hope my momma doesn't think I'm not sad about the situation because I'm not cry or showing a lot of emotion but she is. Edited March 30, 2010 by josh817 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snp93 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Missing school can be risky but in the end I feel that family (relationships) takes priority over just about everything. You obviously seem like you were close to him. Paying respects at someone's funeral is a onetime thing while classes happen multiple times a week. Your teachers/administrators should understand your need to be at the funeral. If they don't then I am glad that I am not their kid. If you would regret not going more than you would regret not making it to a couple classes then you should definitely go. Sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rturbo 930 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 (edited) My Condolences. Personally I'd go. School is important, but most of it you can do over if absolutely necessary. I would also think most professors would be understanding, and pardon you. Your grandfather however, will only have one funeral, and that's it. And personally, I think family in situations like this is more important. My $.02. Also, who's scheduling the funeral? When my grandma died, my parents scheduled it to be on a Saturday so I wouldn't have to miss school. Don't know if that's a possibility for your family. Edited March 30, 2010 by rturbo 930 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josh817 Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 I'm not sure who is scheduling. Mom literally called me up an hour ago saying he died. She says there's severe weather on Friday, his funeral will be over the weekend but because of weather on Friday, we'd probably have to leave tomorrow or Thursday. This is the first family death that's occurred for me so I don't know like... how long a funeral can wait before things get bad. Knowing my family, everyone already has their own spot in the cemetery so I guess the ceremony part is all that's left. Mom said she will call me with more information once she finds out. I know my professors will exempt me, except maybe for Architecture because he does a lot of pop quizzes but only counts about 3 of them into your grade. He will always say, if it caught you by surprise and you don't know anything, that's ok, just turn it in and hopefully it won't be one that's counted in the grade book. I could definitely see him saying that to me. Or another worst case scenario is like my Physics class last semester. I was in a car accident and missed a quiz in Physics. The professor exempt me, but he never wrote my name down or anything. Since this is college... you don't really get progress reports with all the grades you made in that class so I never knew if I made a 0 or if it just didn't count. The biggest thing I worry about is my mom. Since she lives at home by herself. No one to vent off to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RB26powered74zcar Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 I was in boot camp when I lost a family member. If the US Military understands, and lets you miss a couple days, I'm sure your school will... Do it, you won't regret it later in life, that you did... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bschiltz Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Sorry for your loss. Like the others have said, talk to your professors. If nothing else, they'll tell you what you will miss ahead of time so you can make it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cygnusx1 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 I'm not sure who is scheduling. Mom literally called me up an hour ago saying he died. She says there's severe weather on Friday, his funeral will be over the weekend but because of weather on Friday, we'd probably have to leave tomorrow or Thursday. This is the first family death that's occurred for me so I don't know like... how long a funeral can wait before things get bad. Knowing my family, everyone already has their own spot in the cemetery so I guess the ceremony part is all that's left. Mom said she will call me with more information once she finds out. I know my professors will exempt me, except maybe for Architecture because he does a lot of pop quizzes but only counts about 3 of them into your grade. He will always say, if it caught you by surprise and you don't know anything, that's ok, just turn it in and hopefully it won't be one that's counted in the grade book. I could definitely see him saying that to me. Or another worst case scenario is like my Physics class last semester. I was in a car accident and missed a quiz in Physics. The professor exempt me, but he never wrote my name down or anything. Since this is college... you don't really get progress reports with all the grades you made in that class so I never knew if I made a 0 or if it just didn't count. The biggest thing I worry about is my mom. Since she lives at home by herself. No one to vent off to... My condolences. Â The weather up here looks nice for the next 5 days. Â I would hop a flight and skip school. Â Just let the prof's know the deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skib Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 (edited) sorry to hear man. let your professors know before and go to the funeral, any class or test can wait, a funeral cant. worst case if one of them decides to be a **** and fail you or something take it up with a higher up, someones going to understand. Edited March 30, 2010 by skib Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnc Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 This is the first family death that's occurred for me so I don't know like... The biggest thing I worry about is my mom. Since she lives at home by herself. No one to vent off to... Your mom needs your support right now - that's the most important thing. Get on a plane. Sorry to hear about your loss and hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
240hoke Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Skip school. I missed my grandfathers funeral to stay at school for exams, wished I hadnt. There is nothing in school that cant be made up and in all honestly it just isn't that important compared to your family. My condolences Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m1noel Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 I lost my mom suddenly while I was at college. Just be sure to communicate with the prof's. They will understand. I think it will be best for you and your family for you to be there. mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tx1021 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Sorry about your loss. I was in the same situation at the beginning of last semester. I just met with my teachers, in person by the way, and they were all more than understanding. I agree with the rest of the people here too... Family is of far greater importance than school, although I really see no problems coming from your professors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete280z Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Go to the funeral. I was in your situation when I was in school and chose to stay for exams. It was the wrong decision and I still regret it. Stop thinking and start making your travel arrangements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodZilla Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Sorry to hear. Go to the funeral man. It might bug you later on in life and you can always work a little her and catch up on school stuff. You're lucky that at least you knew you grandfather better than I did. I was only 7 when one of them passed away. And on the other side of the world when the other grandfather one passed away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DREW RBZ Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Sorry to hear about your loss bro...Family comes first...go to the funeral if you can. As others have said most schools will make allowances for this type of hardship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ModernS30 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Sorry about all that happened. That really sucks, my grandpa had an anurism and I almost lost him recently. He is home by now but I am so sorry. I hope everything works out. Talk to your teachers in advance, tell them whats going on. If they don't understand pull the. Well, I don't care if your son/father/loved one dies you had better be teaching this class no matter what. You know cause that's just wrong if they wont let you have a few classes off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woldson Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Sorry to hear about your Grandfather, if others need you try to be there for them. My view on death is (at least of older fellows) is different then most. I see it as someone hitting the jackpot, or going off to disneyland! Glad to hear he went fast, peacefully? When I go I want a Wake. It is ok not to take death as hard as others, so don't feel guilty just use that strenth for those who need it, peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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