M3 friend is wrong. They are nice, but one of the favourite cars to stomp, just because of some of the drivers have that 'nose in the air attitude'. It also depends on which year of M3 he has. Has he done any work? How heavy is your car? You should have a substantial weight advantage.
HX35 would be a better choice, but an HX35/40 hybrid (IMHO) would be even better. You also have to be aware of which hotside you have, as the Holsets come with a large variety of hotsides. The Holsets are individually balanced, so you can take the compressor wheel and compressor cover from an HX40 and bolt it right on without any balancing or indexing. Search youtube for an RB25 HX35/40 spool level example. I have a 35 but intend to eventually get a hybrid when I get EMS figured out.
On one of the threads (I think it was on HZ), I posted an application chart for Holsets. I think it was a sticky.