From your description above your car is no where near loose and the few back end stepping out events appear to have been driver induced.
Due to the smoother roads. The anti-roll bar (ARB) has nothing to do with steering kickback.
At that low of a speed you're getting so little load transfer that the suspension isn't taking any kind of set. You cannot make any balance determination from that test.
That's absolutely normal behavior and is a result of weight transfer forward under decelleration. Downshift in a straight line, not in a corner. You also need to use the brakes to slow the car down, not the gears. Lifting off the throttle should let the rear of the car step out in a controllable manner and it sounds like that's what you've got
Not to be a jerk, but based on the speeds mentioned above you haven't gotten close to a medium speed corner, let alone a high speed corner.
Unless there's something mechanically wrong with the car, it sounds like the balance and handling is very normal for a slightly modified S30. You want the back of the car to be responsive to the throttle.
Spend your money on yourself. Go to an autocross. Go to an open track day. Spend money on driving schools.