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Funny Skyline Craigslist ad


MikeBZ

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http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/pml/cto/2619410616.html

 

Copied from Craigslist

 

 

Skyline! 1990 GTSt - $5000 (Maple Ridge)

 

This isn't your normal skyline. This motherfcker is the skyline God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.

 

Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a ***.

 

Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for ******* so we got rid of it. Manly as ***. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.

 

Seats? this ******cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your **** after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.

 

Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.

 

This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yes.

 

Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you ****** covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your ****** back and I blow charlie to kingdom ****** come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright ****** green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.

 

This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.

 

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so ****** fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was ****** rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.

 

I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.

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Edited by MikeBZ
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Seats? this ******cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your **** after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.

 

 

HAHAH i would say best line on here lol

 

....It's getting serious. hahahaha

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