auxilary Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 "hi, can i reserve a tow dolly to tow a car for saturday?" -no, we can't reserve them "You mean to tell me they're first come first serve?" -kind of "that's retarded." -well sir, you could come by saturday morning and check if any are available. We can rent you one now, they're available now "That's great, except that I don't need it for 4 days prior to saturday. Just saturday. You can't guarantee me the use of the dolly, and I can't get one, so... *click*" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majik16106 Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Paul Vs. Napa Customer -customer enters holding a small fraction of a strut casing,like a 2inch by 6 inch piece, i could barely tell what it was, looks like it has been sitting for 30 some odd years in dog crap, no visible marking or numbers- "hey, can i help you" " yah i need this.." " the whole strut you mean?" " yes" "whats it off of?" "a 60's truck" "what kind of truck" "well its all custom" "ok, well i need to know something about it, we sell OEM aftermarket replacement, so you would have to tell me what the struts are off of for me to find it" " a 60's truck" " right, but a ford, chevy, dodge? Plus if its custom it could have corvette or mustang struts, i don't know what the builder used..." " you cant look at this and tell" " sir, thats a small fraction of it, it has nothing written on it, I cant tell anything" " well great, i didnt know Napa hired idiots, ill just have to find a real autoparts store..." " ok.. bye" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ON3GO Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Mike VS UTI studient We are on lunch shooting the sh!t about cars.. Me: So what do you drive man.. Him: 1990 Civic V6.. " Wow a V6, you swap that in.. ' No i bought it from a honda tech, he bought it new, it came with a V6.. " Are you sure its a civic then because they never came with a V6 ' Yeah they did man, my dad works for honda, he builds them all the time by hand. "by hand, wow thats cool man, where did you park your car so i can see it. we then walk over to a 1988 or so Mazda 626.. with a civic emblem on it. Him: sweet isnt it.. Me: yaaaaa mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZR8ED Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Scott vs Parts counter clerk. Me" Ya I need some spark plugs for a 78 datsun 280z" him (checking computer system) uh nope.. Me" how about a 77?" nope me "a 79?" nope me "a 80?" nope. Sir what year do you have? Me" a 78 but it doesn't really matter to me what year, they are pretty much the same, how about an 81, 82, 83? yup I have some for an 83.. is an auto or stick... me "stick..." nope don't have any for those. Me "ok then make it an automatic" uh does it have turbo or not? me " pick one I don't care man..just find me some plugs from one of these cars..." ( I needed a plug bad..one was totally dead...I just needed it so I could get to work) Hilarious when i look back now, but not at that time...I was like"just get me some plugs for a datsun something!!! ahhhh" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akeizm Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Marc vs Maxi Taxi. Me: "I would like to know where our taxi is. Its been 45mins" Them: "We are busy at the moment, there will be delays" Me: "So how long will it take?" Them (Rudley): "Didn't you hear me, We are delayed" Me (Angry/Drunk): "Fine go F*#@...click" I don't think they will like me now haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auxilary Posted March 4, 2004 Author Share Posted March 4, 2004 aux's coworker vs. dumbass employee: this woman comes up to helpdesk, looking for our coworker Thom. He's not there. She walks up to my coworker holding a blackberry (pager/email device with complete company address book) and says "Hi, Thom isn't there. Can you page him for me?" coworker: you can page him yourself, i'm not your secretary. her: *walking away* that was very rude I'm pissing my pants laughing in my cube, can't believe he just said that. But I can understand where he's coming from: there's this dumbass holding the device capable of doing her request that she owns, and she wants him to do this. We have receptionists that are paid to page people. I also get very agitated when people call the main line and ask to speak to a specific person. Dumbass, call their direct line! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vashe Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Eric Vs. Stupid Staples Shoppers them: hi, i need a modem. mine just died. me: okay, let me see what i have. *brings out a modem* them: no, that's not it. me: well what does it look like then? them: well, you know. me: no i don't. them: the thing where you plug stuff in. me: *getting confused* which thing? them: the big box thing. me: you mean a tower? them: i guess, my modem doesn't boot up anymore. me: Hey Mark! A customer needs your help! This is a typical day at work. And remember, the customer is *always* right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
z-REX Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 an excerpt from an ill-advised career as a waiter.... half-dead looking old lady... "so what do you have?" idiot me in a fish shirt... "well, the lunch menu's on the back.." still old... "no, what kind of food do you serve here..." stunned... "well, you are in a Red Lobster, ma'am." senile... "so, do you have shrimp?" about to piss myself... "no, we're out today." rotting... "oh, *&!t. so what else..." had it... "i really hope you like chicken, ma'am." bad news for her was that we had fired our only decent grill cook the night before... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMortensen Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Jon vs U-Haul "So, do you issue gay porn trading cards with every rental?" "Uh, what?" "Well, you rented me that truck, and there was a bunch of gay porn in it. Since you had me wait until 9:00 to pick it up, I assume that you put it there." "Uh, I'm really sorry about that sir. Your total mileage costs will be $160." "That's kind of high, don't you think? I only drove the truck 11 miles." "Not according to the records here." "Check it again." ....(USES A CALCULATOR TO SUBTRACT MILEAGE, WTF?!?!) "Oh, you're right, you did only drive 11 miles." "Thank you for taking that off my bill. By the way, the ring and pinion in that truck is about to fall out. You really need to get that fixed. Oh, and it had no windshield wiper on the driver's side, and the seat wasn't bolted down properly..." there's more, but I've forgotten the rest. "Oh, yeah, we know. We never rent THAT truck for long distance moves." Needless to say, it's Ryder for me in the future... Jon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeeboost Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Back when I took calls and sold long distance. Me: "Do you make any international calls?" Them: "Uh..yeah" Me: "Okay, what countries do you call?" Them: "Uhhhh....you know. Sometimes California, Texas, maybe Georgia once in a while." or Me: "Is this the only telephone number in your home?" Them: "No, I also got Caller ID" or this one, which is a classic, but I can't really blame her because she was elderly Me: "Do you have an e-mail address" Her: "Yes, it's my first and last name, A-circle, *domain* dot o-r-g, which stands for Oregon of course." (which she lived in oregon, so at least it made a little more sense) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xander Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 now really a conversation but a funny reply found on a pontiac fiero forum: Topic: Can I put 86 doors on a 87 fieroGT? reply: Thats a lot of doors on one fiero. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nic-Rebel450CA Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Her: "Yes' date=' it's my first and last name, A-circle, *domain* dot o-r-g, which stands for Oregon of course." (which she lived in oregon, so at least it made a little more sense)[/quote'] Heeheehee That reminds me of this dumb girl I used to know that thought ".html" stood for "hotmail" and wondered why all of the websites she went to were owned by hotmail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillZ260 Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 bill vs big dumb autozone guy me: Need an oil pan gasket for a sbc... az: what year? me: doesn't matter, the dipstick is on the passenger side of the block, so like any 70's vehicle will do. az: I need a make and model sir. me: (Getting pissed now, walk him through a 1/2 ton chevy truck w. auto trans and some other options, forget) Get the gasket home, jack up the motor ready to put it on w/ silicon, cause it is like almost 9 on a sat night and i should have been done an hour ago.....its the wrong one. I really can't recall being more pissed than at that one single moment, what with all the grease, oil and silicone all over the place. I run the stuff back there like 5 min till close, walk directly to the guy ringing someone up. me: You gave me the wrong shit! az: are you sure? me: oh yeah! (Have to walk him through the same vehicle just to prove my point... az: I am very sorry sir, i must have grabbed the wrong one, take this one and they will ring you up over there. me: ring it up yourself, i am out. Took the gasket and left. Man, to this day I avoid that location so I don't have to see that tub of a waste of man. I think my BP just raied 30pts reliving this story, it happend like 8 years ago! Oh yeah, and U-Haul won't rent towable equipment to Explorer owners. The most popular SUV on the market. I wonder what brain child came up with that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnc Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 John and PepBoys counter person: JOHN: I need 6 Champion 412 RJ12LYC spark plugs. PBCP: What vehicle is it for? JOHN: 1971 Datsun 240Z. PBCP: (typing, looking, typing, looking) We don't list those plugs for that vehicle sir. JOHN: I know, please get me the plugs I asked for. PBCP: But those are the wrong plugs sir. JOHN: They are the correct plugs, I've used them for years on various race Nissan engines and they are perfect. PBCP: Sir, I'm not sure you know enough about vehicles. Our system says (some odd NGK number) are the correct plugs for that vehicle. JOHN: Son, I'm not sure you know enough about life. Get me the plugs, which are on the shelf right behind you, or I'll give you a new life lesson. PBCP: Yes sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumo Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 John and PepBoys counter person: That's not so bad compare to the AutoZone counter person insisting that i only needed four spark plugs instead of six for my 75 280Z. The manager who i knew was smiling and laughing at AZCP until i told him to look outside and see if i only had four cylinders and if it had six cylinders i get the plugs free. Finally Manger Friend told AZCP that i really used six because that's a real sports car not like his Mexican CRX ( it was an Si model, get it? "Si senior") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gramercyjam Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 At the O'Reilly Autoparts counter: ME: I want 6 of the NGK BP5ES plugs please GUY: What vehicle is that for? ME: It doesn't matter, those are the plugs I want. GUY: I can't locate the plugs unless I know what vehicle they are for. The computer doesn't list them that way. ME: Your computer won't list those plugs for my car. How about you go in the back to where you keep the plugs and look to see if you have any NGK BP5ES? GUY: Unhh .... OK. A few minutes later - GUY: Here they are - the last 6 we had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumo Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Laundry Madness We own a Laundromat. Really Irate Heavy mexican accented gay guy (really, his "partner" was there too) RIHMGG:"Jour' Matsin' no WORK" (slamming the lid cussing at me in spanish) Me: " ok, let me take a look" (He doesnt know i understand Spanish) RIHMGG: in Spanish "Piece of crap machine" what kind of place is this? I noticed then that the coins were still sitting on the coin slide. Me: "It would help if you put the coins in the machine" (Sarcastically) RIHMGG"Oooooohhhhhh" Me: "Dumb Ass F*%#ing Gay Guy" RIHMGG " What jou say?" Me: "err, It's a nice day today huh?" Hey he was a good customer until he started cussing me out. Besides that's 20 bucks of laundry just from him alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCZ Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Me (returning truck): When I filled up the truck, a lot of gas dripped out somewhere underneath the truck. You might want to take a look at it. CounterGuy: Oh, they all do that. It'll stop in a little while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest goldraven Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 Me VS Staples Manager Me: I am looking for a stapler SM: hmmm looks like we are all out on the shelf here...let me look in the back Me: ok. SM leaves for like 15 minutes.... SM: Looks like we are all out of staplers sir. Me: Staples is out of staplers? SM: yes, i realise the irony. Me VS Walgreens Manager Me: i turned in my 1hr. photo development in 3 hrs. ago and it is not finished yet WM: well sir, it may take longer than 1hr. Me: well, why did i just pay for 1 hr. photo if it is going to take 3? WM: sir, i dont think you understand "customer flow" (sarcastically) Me: Look, i run one of the most succesful pizza places in town, dont talk to me about "customer flow" WM: look, just because you paid for 1 hr. photo doesnt mean that it will be done in an hr. there are other people in front of you. Me: i understand that completely. thats why you shouldn't charge 1 hr. photo, you should charge 3 hr. photo. because...it is not done in an hr. WM: it doesnt work like that Me: Let me try to put this into perspective, If the next time you order a pizza i say it will be there in 30 mins. and deliver it in 2 hrs. you get upset and call back, i'm going to give the pizza to you for free...because we broke our promise...you sold me 1 hr. photo..it isnt done in an hr. it was done in 3...you should give it to me for free. WM: oh, i see your point, let me discout that for you. Me: Discount it for me and develop the film right now instead of 30 minutes from now. WM: ok sir, im sorry for the inconvenience. I win walgreens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majik16106 Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 its funny, all this XX vs some auto part store counter guy, i work with idiots everyday, whenever someone comes in with either a modded car or knows EXACTLY what they want, they are like a dear in headlights. Most people just dont know how to use the system. However, it should be noted, for every guy who goes in who knows better than the counter person, there is a counter person who knows better than the customer, i get a lot of people who think they know what they are doing with modded cars and are completely lost but wont let me help them, always ends up in a return and apology to me. If any of you ever have trouble with NAPA, give me an e-mail about what you want and ill get the part number so you can go in and just ask for it. Or another store should be able to cross it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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