10 Signs Your Boss Is Insane

[GodZilla]

I work with a friend and he came up with this list below regarding our boss. These are all true from our work place. Go ahead and add to the list.

 

 

1. Your boss has no concept of time. Tasks that any sane person would allot weeks to complete are expected to be finished in days.

2. Your boss constantly complains about money while living in a multi-million dollar house, driving a Mercedes SL500.

3. Your boss spends over $3000/month just on wine.

4. Your boss thinks that calling retail customers who ordered through the company website will generate additional sales.

5. Your boss uses terms like “work the Google more†when planning marketing strategies.

6. Your boss uses magic numbers. If you find 10 customers, and they each spend $500, and they tell 10 of their friends…

7. Your boss hires only those willing to work for the least amount of money, even if they are grossly unsuited to the job.

8. Your boss asks you to do something, and then gets angry when you do it.

9. Your boss gets angry when you get sick or have a doctors appointment

10. Your boss thinks that everything is a conspiracy, including microwave ovens.

Edited July 30, 2010 by GodZilla

[jc052685]

Haha, nice list.

[Hybrid240z]

I have one to add about the owner of the last place I use to work at.

 

1. Your boss thinks that it is easy to replace a very skilled employee that quits with another employee with the same level of skills and experience. Quoting him, "If a God leaves, i'll find me another God...for less." Funny thing is that he was never able to prove that true. The replacement employees never came close in skill level.

[Tony D]

Oh, where do I begin. Search "Bunghole Boss" at ZCar.com and you will find any littany of items.

 

I think the two best were:

1) Looks on his wife's GPS and then says that you live the closest to the shop of anybody, at 25 miles away. Second is the guy in Ontario who is at 30 miles, and the furthest guy is in Sanberdoo at 35 miles. As a result of this he will not longer honor anything more than 30 minutes travel time.

 

The Response: When the company provides me with that Helicopter Car to go straight over the mountians and I can skip the 215/91/55/405 Freeway I'll be here in 25 minutes. Until then, it's 2 hours billable time.

 

2) During a three page justification for more pay (including taking his company from 1.5 million a year to almost 8 million in 3 years and not getting the original rate of pay offered--all on SERVICE BUSINESS---including after 9-11) he proceeds to tell you how you're wrong on EVERY SINGLE ITEM. He uses phrases like 'I don't know what it is, maybe your parents raised you wrong.' Or when the service manager (who is there to SUPPORT his stance against you) says "no, that's what you said, I was there" the reply is 'You guys obviously don't know what I said, I clearly said... (service manager looks at me with a blank stare and a look of 'WTF?')

 

3) He shows up at 4AM to the shop when you are loading material for a job in Mexico, and starts quizzing you about black marks behind the shop and the smell of tire smoke in the building. As a result of you brushing off the idea that a stock F350 loaded to within 200# of GVWR could boil the tires for 50+ feet then responds with a 12 page single spaced memo with a lot of 'employee restores vehicle to condition and accepts termination' phrases in it. And when you prove through service records that not only do you have the best tire tread depth, the most brake lining remaining, and the MOST MILES ON THE TRUCK in the service fleet, he remarks to the girls in the office "I swear to christ Tony sits up at night trying to figure out ways to f-the company."

 

The Response: No, I have THREE HOURS UNPAID COMMUTING TIME EVERY DAY TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT!

 

4) He spends thousands on a GPS/Tracking system for the trucks and INSISTS that you use it for your time reporting. Until he gets the time reports generated and they have roughly 70 hour weeks recorded (your ACTUAL time worked, not simply what you were CLAIMING on Time Sheets) Then his codependent wife will determine that the 'logisitcs required for upkeep of the system don't justify the costs.'

 

5) He sues you when you quit after putting up with nearly three years of his paranoid sh*t.

 

6) His BROTHER quits working for him because he can't put up with his paranoid sh*t. He only lasted 6 months. He did not get sued.

 

7) His WIFE's SISTER quits working for me because she can't put up with his paranoid sh*t any more either. She quits with the #1 Salesman and starts a company that competes with him for the same marketplace. Neither of them get sued.

 

8) You find consolidated company P&L's for the prior years and realize his cumbucket was on salary as president for $30K the year before you brought $220K a quarter in service business to the job, and afterwards got a nice reasonable raise to $176,000 a year.

 

9) You also realize the two kids he has also got put on the payroll for $30 K per year at the same time. But there is no money to pay for the trucks he promised to supply or any relief of the money you give up hourly to use said truck as a tool to make him money.

 

10) He argues with you about return of technical manuals, and then looses it when you return them to him with all your notes blacked out in dark marker, thereby depriving him of your intellectual property. "You wanted the manuals, you got the manuals, minus my intellectual property, just as I promised!" All hail John Galt, you insane cheap S.O.B.! DIE DIE DIE!

 

(And I just found out his gravy train distributorship got cut off. And of course...he's suing!)

Edited July 30, 2010 by Tony D

[Z-Dreamer]

Oh, where do I begin. Search "Bunghole Boss" at ZCar.com and you will find any littany of items.

 

I think the two best were:

1) Looks on his wife's GPS and then says that you live the closest to the shop of anybody, at 25 miles away. Second is the guy in Ontario who is at 30 miles, and the furthest guy is in Sanberdoo at 35 miles. As a result of this he will not longer honor anything more than 30 minutes travel time.

 

The Response: When the company provides me with that Helicopter Car to go straight over the mountians and I can skip the 215/91/55/405 Freeway I'll be here in 25 minutes. Until then, it's 2 hours billable time.

 

2) During a three page justification for more pay (including taking his company from 1.5 million a year to almost 8 million in 3 years and not getting the original rate of pay offered--all on SERVICE BUSINESS---including after 9-11) he proceeds to tell you how you're wrong on EVERY SINGLE ITEM. He uses phrases like 'I don't know what it is, maybe your parents raised you wrong.' Or when the service manager (who is there to SUPPORT his stance against you) says "no, that's what you said, I was there" the reply is 'You guys obviously don't know what I said, I clearly said... (service manager looks at me with a blank stare and a look of 'WTF?')

 

3) He shows up at 4AM to the shop when you are loading material for a job in Mexico, and starts quizzing you about black marks behind the shop and the smell of tire smoke in the building. As a result of you brushing off the idea that a stock F350 loaded to within 200# of GVWR could boil the tires for 50+ feet then responds with a 12 page single spaced memo with a lot of 'employee restores vehicle to condition and accepts termination' phrases in it. And when you prove through service records that not only do you have the best tire tread depth, the most brake lining remaining, and the MOST MILES ON THE TRUCK in the service fleet, he remarks to the girls in the office "I swear to christ Tony sits up at night trying to figure out ways to f-the company."

 

The Response: No, I have THREE HOURS UNPAID COMMUTING TIME EVERY DAY TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT!

 

4) He spends thousands on a GPS/Tracking system for the trucks and INSISTS that you use it for your time reporting. Until he gets the time reports generated and they have roughly 70 hour weeks recorded (your ACTUAL time worked, not simply what you were CLAIMING on Time Sheets) Then his codependent wife will determine that the 'logisitcs required for upkeep of the system don't justify the costs.'

 

5) He sues you when you quit after putting up with nearly three years of his paranoid sh*t.

 

6) His BROTHER quits working for him because he can't put up with his paranoid sh*t. He only lasted 6 months. He did not get sued.

 

7) His WIFE's SISTER quits working for me because she can't put up with his paranoid sh*t any more either. She quits with the #1 Salesman and starts a company that competes with him for the same marketplace. Neither of them get sued.

 

8) You find consolidated company P&L's for the prior years and realize his cumbucket was on salary as president for $30K the year before you brought $220K a quarter in service business to the job, and afterwards got a nice reasonable raise to $176,000 a year.

 

9) You also realize the two kids he has also got put on the payroll for $30 K per year at the same time. But there is no money to pay for the trucks he promised to supply or any relief of the money you give up hourly to use said truck as a tool to make him money.

 

10) He argues with you about return of technical manuals, and then looses it when you return them to him with all your notes blacked out in dark marker, thereby depriving him of your intellectual property. "You wanted the manuals, you got the manuals, minus my intellectual property, just as I promised!" All hail John Galt, you insane cheap S.O.B.! DIE DIE DIE!

 

(And I just found out his gravy train distributorship got cut off. And of course...he's suing!)

 

But you're not bitter, right?

 

DEATH to steaming piles!!!

[Tony D]

But you're not bitter, right?

 

DEATH to steaming piles!!!

 

Make sure to note the explanation to the below on You Tube. One day, he will see this. You can see 'I had a co-conspirator' to participate in the filming. My only regret was those Go-Pro HD Herocams were not available so Joe could get someone from the internet calling him to 'report me'...

 

He could slide under a gas truck and taste his own blood in slow immolation and I would smile. I can PM you my perfect death fantasy of him. It involves dry impaling on a pintree whilst skiing, and large carnivorous felines eating his extremities while still concious. I smile every time that image crosses my mind. There was no call for the torture he put people through. He is a bad person. No good comes from his existence. I wish him ill.

 

[Z-Dreamer]

Tony D,

 

He sounds like a real piece of work!

 

Be comforted that it will ALL come back on him... someday.

 

Mark

 

p.s. Nice burn out with the service truck!

Edited August 1, 2010 by Z-Dreamer

[Tony D]

Actually my biggest regret about going to work there was not taking 'Option 1' regarding the work truck. Had I done that, based on mileage alone driven on company time and billable, I would have paid for my 1998 Dodge Quad Cab the first year, and reaped the rewards of mileage till I left. I would have been paid over $56,000 for that truck. Which I had a done deal price of $19,800 (ready at the back of the lot to go to auction late in August 1999!) Then when I left, I would at least had a truck to my name.

 

And then, if I was doing smoking burnouts with it...it was my own business!

 

This guy and his wife were BIG on transferrence---putting THEIR motives toward other people's actions. Like I said, they were bad people. I wish them ill, and any misfortune that goes their way makes me smile. Including their spoiled spawn.

 

I mean, you know a guy is raising an ******* for a kid when.... I'm not even going there. It's intergenerational. It's perpetuated. The sad thing is I can't figure out why his two other brothers are seemingly decent guys. For sure his younger brother. You know, the guy who quit working for him after 6 months and MOVED ACROSS THE COUNTRY to get away from him?

 

I'd forego him any misfortune. He seemed like a decent guy. Clueless, but decent. "I only know Joe the Brother, I don't know Joe the Businessman."

 

My reply: "Oh you poor bastard, I regret your awakening. I give you 6 months and you're going to quit and go back to where you were, and it won't be because you can't do the job, it will be because you are going to find out your brother is the biggest ******* on the face of the planet."

 

I got a text (seriously) about 5 1/2 months later: "Tony-I had no idea. Sorry about what I said, you were right. Chris" When I called the number (kind of recognized the exchange) it was voicemailed. I think it was his last message from the company phone before turning it off and giving his notice!

 

His apology was for his comment "What is it with you guys, one rat quits and the rest of the rats follow him off the ship?" I think he thought he offended me by referencing me as a rat and wanted to apologize! Decent enough, but no offense taken.

 

Curiously he was the only person at the place that didn't have a statement in the legal proceedings. He did not bear false witness. For this, I spare him ill will or resentment of any kind.

 

The rest of that ilk? When I start polishing up the SKS and putting on the lipstick, be sure to know they are on my list!

[Blitz21]

Wow.....all those reasons sound like my boss. Constantly bitching about money, cutting my hours and my pay, while spending $3,000 on 2 (two) rotors for his personal car on the same day. (and that's rotor as in rotary engine.) Our computer system is: we use XP machines, with a virtual windows 98, just so that we can run our DOS program for inventory and invoices to print on dot-matrix. When confronted by salesmen offering programs that can do the same inventory and printing invoices that can run on vista and even windows 7, my boss' reply is "It'll just be outdated in 10 years" ....while we're using 20 year old mickey mouse computers.

[auxilary]

Wow... Tony, you have an SKS? Norinco, russkie, albanian, or yugo? Pics?

[JMortensen]

He could slide under a gas truck and taste his own blood in slow immolation and I would smile. I can PM you my perfect death fantasy of him. It involves dry impaling on a pintree whilst skiing, and large carnivorous felines eating his extremities while still concious. I smile every time that image crosses my mind. There was no call for the torture he put people through. He is a bad person. No good comes from his existence. I wish him ill.

Uh, wasn't that Sam Kinison's bit about his girlfriend who spent all his money ? Just makes me question the nature of your relationship, and why you're so upset about it. Did you get your records back?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV1dyV9d_1k

Edited August 4, 2010 by JMortensen

[Tony D]

Actually, when I get talking about him, I SOUND (as well as resemble) Sam Kinnison.

And no, I DID NOT get my records back, there are still 10,476 of them floating somewhere in some lawyers pocket that make me PO&B about this whole thing.

 

If you have money, and are willing to lie (salesman) you can cost people you want to hurt a lot of money. I would have MUCH rather spent that money on something else. Sure, because I was 'victorious' (i.e. adjudicated the winning party to the lawsuit HE brought) I got my court costs back, but LAWYERS FEES? Not a chance in hell if they're willing to lie (and they are)... So what's your option, spend $50K to get $10K?

 

I wonder who 'negative checked' my post. Perhaps Joe has been here reading...

 

But yeah, "sliding under a gas truck and tasting his own blood" is a Sam Kinnison line, and only partially conveys my feeling for him. Like I said, that would make me smile. What would PLEASE ME MOST is that he is dry impaled after going off-course on a ski run, dry impaled on a jaggy old pine tree limb right near his solar plexus so he can't cry out in pain, but remains concious. That way he can hear the searchers for him, but can't direct them to where he's suspended, just off the ground. And then, frustrated that they searchers have moved away and stopped looking in that area, full of dispair and loosing hope, he sees this thick, furry tail of a cougar in his perpiheral vision and starts feeling a tugging at his leg which of course gives him a searing, tearing feeling from the impalement...

 

And then he realizes that a mountian lion is slowly eating him alive, he's concious and can't cry out for help. And then, I want him to think about all the times he did wrong to others...

 

I don't want him found until springtime, when his stink draws kids to the edge of the slope and they find his half-eaten desiccated carcass still stuck high up in a tree, even more pecked over by carrion-loving small birds than what the cougar ate.

 

And like someone recently replied when they heard this, 'The cougar would probably get sick from bad meat!' and I heartily concur: The cougar that eats his legs in a gorging meal then walks a few paces and regirguitates everything so that Joe can see it, and realize all that pain and suffering he went through didn't even give nourishment to his unseen tormentor, that his pain was all for naught. Pain with no good cause whatsoever.

 

My only regret is that he can't undergo that for 3 years running. Then he would know what it is like to work for him.

 

Like I said, I was willing to leave it at 'slide under a gas truck and taste his own blood' but since you asked...That's how I really feel.

 

He is a bad man. I wish him ill.

[Tony D]

Oh, and the SKS is not a 'stamped import' of recent vintage. It's a 'never fired only dropped once' Viet-Nam era war souvineer, complete with DOD paperwork. I bought it off the 'repatriator'

 

I got some photos buried somewhere on my Cardomain Page of the Chinese one my kid shoots. It for all intents and purposes looks the same. I think they are both Chicom Type 56's (?)

 

All I know is I lament burning through all that LAPD Academy Chinese Copper-Jacketed Steel Core ammo when it was available. I should have saved a case. Or two.

[GOTHALOSISM]

Just read any Dilbert comic and see what signs are of a bad boss.

[JMortensen]

I wonder who 'negative checked' my post. Perhaps Joe has been here reading...

Actually I did that on accident. Once you click, you can't unclick.

[Tony D]

Suuuuuuuure...

[zgeezer]

Suuuuuuuure...

 

Interesting thread.... .., but let me add four comments:

 

• About all you need to know about bad management is in "Dilbert".
• About all you need to know about non-involved employees is in "Dilbert".
• If anyone reading this blurb would like to move a step beyond belly aching and generalized bitching, take at look at this diagnostic tool to evaluate whether or not your boss is a psychopath. Read the entire article, before you take the test. Works for ex's and politicians as well.
• After two years of listening to AM radio rants, I convinced myself that THEY would invade my quiet little valley at the next 7.0 earthquake and I'd better be prepared. Hit a gunshop in San Berdoo and purchased two unused boxed and "cosmolined" Norinco SKSs, 4 wooden cases of Russian [i think.... wax paper wrapped, "green" rounds, 4,000 rounds to the case], and one California Highway Patrol decommissioned parkerized Remington 12 gauge. Pump with a very very short barrel and about 400 rounds of various 12 gauge loads: from bird shot up to rifled ball [actually wrapped in a plastic sorbet] I was ready for anything that might find it's way over the pass into my little patch of desert. About 400 rounds into one of the SKS I tore it down, cleaned it up, reassembled it and headed back out to the desert to play with a new plastic folding stock and a "large... very large capacity magazine in place... about 40+ rounds. Loaded that magazine with some loose rounds out of pocket and pulled down on that big abandoned burned and, probably, stolen car body..............it ran off three rounds as in "automatic fire". WOW, I got a select fire SKS.... now where in hell is the select lever. Not there. Ejected one live round and when the bolt returned it double fired. I got religion real quick. I traded both SkS and ammo to a gun shop in Nevada for High Standard Military with 6 inch barrel. I was told that "slam firing" was a common experience if some bozo didn't assemble the mechanism correctly. Something about a firing pin that fit only in "one" direction. Have any of you had such a experience with SkS. The gauge is still with me and I love it.

G

[cygnusx1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8CrvGndKzE

[Tony D]

Curiously my Remington is also parkerized, with "HBPD" on the stock. Looks like the ramp was loaded and unloaded every shift for years, but the hammer had not a single mark from peening against the firing pin. Probably never fired. Gave my son GREAT confidence shooting trap at Boy Scouts

 

Never had an issue with either of my SKS's here in CA, nor elsewhere. Pretty reliable, I don't know how you would get the pin in wrong to induce slam-firing. More likely on the Bushmaster back in Michigan.

 

Don't worry Geezer, they got to get through my pass first, before they get to Palm Springs.

 

Thing is, I saw 'they' during the 93 Riots, I had to go into the restricted area to pick up our compressor housings from a company that was going bankrupt and move them to another shop off SantaFe and 47th street. We could smell the smoke. I had an M1 Carbine, loaded with 90 rounds jungle-clipped together in banana clips, with another three identical mag sets on my front seat. I dallied too long in the area, and the onramp checkpoints were erected. There I was with 270 rounds 'loaded,' round in the chamber, safety off carbine rolling to the LASD uniformed Deputy. Kept both hands on the wheel, and watched his eyes get BIG. He calmly asked me what 'that on the front seat was for' and I said "If I don't get on the freeway right now, and that ramp closes, it's how I plan to get back to O.C. by surface streets. After a pause he asked "The bolt is closed, is there a round in the chamber?" Yep. "Safety on?" Nope. Petty tense, and he just had me eject the clip, rack the round out of the chamber and leaned forward as he instructed me to "Place that behind the seat, you won't need that on the freeway." All I could say was 'I sure hope not, sir!'

 

"They" aren't as far away as you think. The only saving grace is like New Orleans, likely there won't be busses running to get them to us! Having to go into the lions den was not a fun time. I felt more secure in Nigeria...

[zxtoy]

Tony, I think that ex boss of yours was probably cheating on his federal taxes. Yeah thats it "cheating the IRS". I'll bet there is some way to anonymously report that cheating bastard on some whistle blower IRS site. He is cheating every single honest upstanding hard working taxpayer. Why it would be your patriotic duty as an American to turn that low life scumbag in. You would be doing every fellow American a huge favor by sending in this "steal the candy out of a babies mouth" worthless piece of dung's name in to the IRS. Why I've heard once they start investigating and auditing it can drag out for years and years. The stress alone will probably give him a heart attack. That is almost as good as the death you described. Especially so if the find any problems with the books. It's a huge disgrace when the IRS shuts down your business.