Please take what I say with a grain of salt. I feel my wife can do much better than me. Not just because she is incredibly beautiful, but I think she deserves the best person in the world.
My insecurities make me exceptionally paranoid, even more so after the affair.
Anyway, these two specifically are too broad of a statement, unless of course you’re oversimplifying them. I understand you may have because of the internet.
There is no meat (real answer) in the two above statements.
#1 is a statement for her to get out of the relationship to do what she wants to do.
#2 is her way of blaming it on you while you’re away and not being there for her. It is very easy for her while you’re on deployment to talk, seek and find someone else and that is just her side. There could be the snake in the grass person, friend or not, trying to weasel his way in, knowing full well you’re no where around.
Again, this is just what came to my mind because I experienced it. You may be 100% right. It could be your both young. Who knows, but you need to do a little more careful digging from my perspective.
The "Why" in your above statements is what you need to figure out. It may be you, it may not.
Knowledge is power and will help you make better decisions.