My obsession with these Z cars is killing me

[buZy]

It wouldn't have taken me 6 months to be single, closer to 6 seconds. I would have no problem dropping anyone no matter how much I loved them or thought I did, if they told me that my hobby was only going to be temporary, and that once we were married she was going to make the decisions. That's like cutting off an arm or covering my mouth so that i couldn't eat or breath.

 

Oh totally Yes! Yea but she had a sweet snapper if you catch my drift so why not ride it for a while. I knew right then and there, she was not the one lol. She is gone now. And thank God for that!

 

Glad you found a woman who underestands, they are few and far between..I'm still looking.

[zeeboost]

That's a alot of cars to just maintain let alone complete. Bigtime. I know you hate to do it but sell a few and concentrate on one or two. Ok even then if you did sell a few off you could still spend all your free time on just one car. I admit you are on crack

My advise, if you want it, straight up no sugar coated bs. You are only 23. You have plenty of time to get married. If she can't handle it now.. just imagine married life when she owns you. She should be glad you are not out with your friends, at the bar, hitting on chicks and cheating on her worried. Instead your at home doing what you love, busting your but working 60 hrs a week, making money, learning and developing your mind. Not good enough huh?!.. ..You might have to let her go. Is she really the one? Or just a hottie?, to hard to let go....I have been where you are. I'm 39 much older, my most recent said "for now it's good you have your cars but when we get married we are selling them." 6 months later I was single of my choice. She was also lawyer doing family law so that was a factor too lol. I don't care if I ever get married either, riddles... There are plenty of fish in the sea. You have your Z car hobbie, You are her hobbie.... A recipie for disaster...

 

I don't know you personally, so how can I give you advise..

But will tell you this. Unless you have to means to throw away cars for your enjoyment...and most of us don't (i don't either by the way. ) She sounds like is going to make you choose, which is lame in my opinion.....So prepare yourself for that. Good luck.

 

For referernce I will be single forever

 

I've lost a few GFs over my car addiction, and it's been for the better. No seriously.

 

The girl I'm with now, understands my car addiction, she even supports it, whol heartedly. She is helping me with getting my S30, and bringing it home. I was showing her some rims last week and she said "How much do we have to save".

She owns a house with a garage, and the garage is 90% mine, she needs just a little for her gardening stuff, but that will change with any luck to the shed that is hardly used. Shhhhhh.... don't tell her that I said that though.

The way she looks at it, is that I have a hobby, that is creative, and enjoyable with a planned (ok not always) outcome. She looks at this as something much better than doing drugs or being an alcoholic, it's also something that we can do together, and she does want to learn.

 

I'm also not always in the garage either, in fact we usually spend at least time for dinner together after I get home from work, and as independant as she is, that is usually enough time for her, to keep her happy as well.

 

She supports the Z hobby - she just wants a little attention, which I don't blame her. I came very close to selling my 240zt, but she's the one that talked me out of it, and she told me that she would buy it before I sell it to someone else, because she didn't want to see it go. Out of all of the girls that I know, she's the most knowledgable with cars. She doesn't care how much money I spend on them, because she knows I worked hard to earn the money I have to be able to spend it on them. Also buZy, she's told me the same thing you mentioned - that she looks at it like at least I'm not out at a club or bar hitting on chicks, or wasting my money on drugs (even though these cars are about as bad money and time-wise). We have a lot in common, plus she's the first and only one I've experienced ANYthing with, from being in a relationship to sex - and yes, she is a hottie. Usually when people find out that she was my first everything, they tell me that I need to go out and experience other relationships with other women and...I just don't want that. When I move to Dallas, we were planning on buying a house together - I found one for a decent price with a 4 car garage, and she was asking for one space only if she gets her Mustang GT this summer. Once I go up there, I'll have 5 more years of college to go through, and then I'll have a completely different profession, that will most likely not ask for late hours, so I think she's looking forward to that as well. Plus, since I'm going to be going to school full time and not working for the next few years, she was planning on making the payments on the house - we agreed that I would lay down the deposit and split the bills with her - the rest she would take care of.

 

But, you are right - I don't know how other women react to cars, and spending a lot of time and money on them. I've always considered myself blessed to have her, but I don't think she feels the same way. That's why Sunday's conversation really got to me, and why I made this post. But, what relationship can last when the couple hardly spends any time together. I see these problems as my fault...I'm just trying to figure out a way to balance everything, or how to change my priorities, which I don't see happening.

 

I appreciate everyone's responses. Although it doesn't help me resolve anything, it makes me feel better hearing about the same addiction from others.

[janaka]

a story from university a few years ago

We had a special time management speaker come into the class and talk to us about how get the most from our day and how to be productive in all aspects of life, work and personal.

He took out a large container and put it on the desk. He filled it with large rocks till no more could fit in and proceeded to ask the class if the container was full. They all nodded yes it was. He then pulled out smaller stones and filled in the big gaps between the large rocks. He again asked if they container was now full. This time again the students nodded their heads and called him sneaky. The speaker then took out some sand. He poured it on top of the rocks and stones and it settled in and filled all the crevaces that were left. He pronounced "now thats full isn't it!" again the students agreed. The speaker laughed. He took a bucket of water and filled the container to the brim soaking the rocks, stones and sand.

The speaker asked the students what they thought the moral of the story was. they said no matter how much work you have to do you can always do more in a given time. He said no. Always put the biggest things into every day first, your family, the work will fill itself in around them.

 

 

 

*steps on soap box*

i too work 6 days a week and only get sundays to work on my Z. thats no a problem. your problem is your time management. period. if you can't set aside some down time for you and your GF you have a serious problem. it has nothing to do with selling a project (or 3) but making time for the things that are important in life. if you put a car before someone that has been in your life for over 7yrs and 'plan' on getting married with i feel sorry for her as she desrves better IMO. A 'car' shouldn't come before a loved one for this long. you dont HAVE to work on the car every sunday, you dont have to work on the car every evening. you choose to. whats worse is you only see your GF every other weekend you say becuase she goes to college out of town...yet on those weekend you still wrench the car while she sits alone? what kind of BS is that? Obviously we are not getting the whole story or she has the lowest self-esteem I've ever heard of a woman having. Just be thankful she hasn't left you.

*steps off soap box*

[RedEvilrps13]

hmm well....

 

i havent had my Z the two years ive been with my GF, but ive had my S13....

 

she has been supportive from the getgo, partially cause i told her like it is. i said clearly that i have an addiction to my car and that my 240sx takes precedent over 99% of other things in my life, and that there were going to be times where the car would be priority over her. she didnt get it at first, but as time has gone on she fully understands my passion (read:obsession) and is very supportive. she doesnt try to limit me in any way shape or form when i need to buy parts, and she was all for me buying the Z.

 

hell shes helped out fixing the damned thing a couple times, which is nice.

[TrumpetRhapsody]

You're lucky. That's how it should be.

 

I'm holding out for someone supportive like that. I don't know about them taking precedent 99% of the time, but I don't want someone that will B$#&@ and moan when I buy a part or want to work on a car. I want them to be right there with me, or at the very least understand the passion.

[OlderThanMe]

I use building my car as therapy... LOL

Unfortunately therapy broke my finger. Thus therapy gets to wait.

 

I've had my Z for 4 years now. Still hasn't complained once through major failure and me beating on the body. Now It's time for a bigger heart and new hips. It could care less...

[mark]

Sell 4 cars and get 3 more girl friends!

[slownrusty]

Cars and houses can always be bought and sold, they are simple material aquisitions.

 

I would never put a "car" before a healthy relationship and we should also aspire to be in healthy relationships.

 

I am a big car guy, but also a huge romantic and that special person in my life will always be my foundation.

 

My biggest accomplishment?

- Not my Engineering PE Degree

- Not the fancy cars

- Not the big house with a 5 car garage

- Not the corporate job

 

But rather my relationship.

 

Life is three things:

1) A fulcrum, find the balance and the equilibrium

2) A Circle - wholeness and inclusive - family and friends always first at the center.

3) A journey, you are the driver and the next bend in the road has what? Its easier to negotiate that bend with someone you love, that loves you, supporting each other.

 

Good luck to you.

Yasin

[Brother Grim]

I don't post very often, but i think I will throw in my 2 cents. I am an avid motocross rider and have been riding for nearly 22 years.

 

 

When I asked my wife to marry me, I told here that me and my bikes were a package deal and that if she ever told me I had to stop riding, that would be the day I left her. Not because I love my bikes more than her, but because no one who loved me would try to make me stop doing the thing that brings me so much happiness.

 

 

She said that she understood, but that in turn, the day that I started putting motocross before our relationship, she would leave me.

 

 

We have been married for 6 years now and I have missed many rides to do something with my wife, and she has spent her fair share of weekends sitting at home while I went to the track. The key is to find balance like slownrusty said. Talk to her and make a plan. If she doesn't understand then so be it. But she sounds like a very reasonable girl, and I think you will come to regret it if you just stubbornly sit back and let her go.

[Michael]

Please consider:

 

1. She’s your girlfriend, not your wife.

2. You don’t have children (right?)

3. You’re not caretaker for a relative (elderly parent, ill younger sibling, etc.)

 

That pretty much discharges your responsibilities to your family. Continuing…

 

1. Your car hobby doesn’t cause your performance at work to suffer.

2. It’s not adversely affecting your health (breathing paint fumes or skinning knuckles doesn’t count).

3. You seem to have plenty of money to spare.

 

And that pretty much discharges your responsibilities to yourself.

 

Now I agree that you should trade quality for quantity and reduce your stable of Z’s to something more manageable. Nor is it wise to harbor a dismissive attitude towards your friends or girlfriend. But in the end, you already have the basics covered. And therefore there is no reason to be kicking yourself.

[RedEvilrps13]

You're lucky. That's how it should be.

 

I'm holding out for someone supportive like that. I don't know about them taking precedent 99% of the time, but I don't want someone that will B$#&@ and moan when I buy a part or want to work on a car. I want them to be right there with me, or at the very least understand the passion.

 

HEHE one more thing, she grabbed a sawzall and helped me chop up a parts car i had....that was damned cool to watch....i didnt go near her while she did it lol

[cygnusx1]

I am just so glad that I pretty much finished my car before we had our child. At that point, everything changed. It's not a question anymore what my priorities are. You know what though? It makes me appreciate the car even more when I get some rare quality time with it. It's all about time sharing and knowing priorities.

 

Because the Z was like therapy for me and since the child came, I don't get the therapy anymore, I started building RC planes. It's something I can do with the kid, in the house, with my wife near by. Then we all go out together to fly the planes. If the weather is nice, I can even negotiate some alone, Z time, for later.

 

Figure about 20 diaper changes buys an hour of Z time.

[ZR8ED]

I told my wives to be (ya I've gone and got married again) That I will not stop playing with cars, and I do not want to ever sell my Z. I agreed to a yearly budget, and except for major life changes/disasters etc I do not want to hear any complaints. I also told them that I intend on attending several events per season and attend my monthly club meetings. We will work planned events around these as much as possible, as long as it does not seriously interupt major events in our life. Ie I will give up going to a Z event if it gets in the way of our summer vacation trips.

 

I made these arrangements very clear BEFORE getting serious, and it has worked perfectly, and has not been the cause for any arguements. I include my wife in Z events, and she helps me work on them from time to time, even helps me strip down junkers! A good woman in coveralls with a sawzall! Yeah!

 

The budget has been the biggest help, as it keeps me from going crazy with the car, and with only a few projects on the go per year, I have no trouble finding time to spend time with my wife/family and friends.

And I can speak to going crazy after I was divorced and single again....I went way overboard, spending tens of thousands of dollars, practically living at my local Z shop, and going to Z events all over the place some even thousands of km's away! It was good therapy, kept me sane, gave me focus and something to look forward to, it was great fun, made some mistakes, learned alot, and I made tremendous progress in a very short time. BUT It is not sustainable to focus 24/7 on Z cars. I have toned down the last few years, due to the "been there, did that before, have the scars and the trophy's to prove it".

 

I don't want to get bored with my Z. If you do everything at a young age, what do you have to lookforward to. It seems that in the past, the average "Car nut" only completed a few major car projects in a lifetime, now it seems that a lot of people want to complete several major projects at once, or every few years. After a while, you start to think, "what's the point"

 

Ok I'm stopping now, before I get too distracted and off topic, as this is a very complex and involved issue with hundreds of variables and solutions.

 

Peace

Scott.

[zeeboost]

Sorry for the late reply, I've been really busy at work.

 

your problem is your time management. period. if you can't set aside some down time for you and your GF you have a serious problem. it has nothing to do with selling a project (or 3) but making time for the things that are important in life. if you put a car before someone that has been in your life for over 7yrs and 'plan' on getting married with i feel sorry for her as she desrves better IMO. A 'car' shouldn't come before a loved one for this long. you dont HAVE to work on the car every sunday, you dont have to work on the car every evening. you choose to. whats worse is you only see your GF every other weekend you say becuase she goes to college out of town...yet on those weekend you still wrench the car while she sits alone? what kind of BS is that? Obviously we are not getting the whole story or she has the lowest self-esteem I've ever heard of a woman having. Just be thankful she hasn't left you.

 

I agree 100%. I always tell her to do what makes her happy, and she says that she just wants to be with me.

 

Cars and houses can always be bought and sold, they are simple material aquisitions.

 

I would never put a "car" before a healthy relationship and we should also aspire to be in healthy relationships.

 

I am a big car guy, but also a huge romantic and that special person in my life will always be my foundation.

 

My biggest accomplishment?

- Not my Engineering PE Degree

- Not the fancy cars

- Not the big house with a 5 car garage

- Not the corporate job

 

But rather my relationship.

 

Life is three things:

1) A fulcrum, find the balance and the equilibrium

2) A Circle - wholeness and inclusive - family and friends always first at the center.

3) A journey, you are the driver and the next bend in the road has what? Its easier to negotiate that bend with someone you love, that loves you, supporting each other.

 

Good luck to you.

Yasin

 

You always have great words of wisdom Yasin...I just hope I'm wise enough to listen to them.

 

I don't want to get bored with my Z. If you do everything at a young age, what do you have to lookforward to. It seems that in the past, the average "Car nut" only completed a few major car projects in a lifetime, now it seems that a lot of people want to complete several major projects at once, or every few years. After a while, you start to think, "what's the point"

 

Peace

Scott.

 

I figured I'd start getting into kit cars after the Zs. Modifying Zs seems so simple, I think by the time I'm older I'd want something more challenging.

 

I picked up my Z addiction after we began dating, so she didn't exactly know what she'd be getting into. But, like I mentioned earlier, it's not the cars, it's the time. I've been trying to compromise a balance with the two. So far, my compromise has been getting her to help me out while working on the Zs. She helped me prep the garage today:

 

[Careless]

Amen. Ever see a U-haul behind a hearse?... me neither.

 

that puts a lot of things in perspective.

 

glad i ran out of money before attempting to buy another z.

[hoov100]

why not get her into helping you with the z's? it may not help you in any way, but atleast you will be spending time with her.....your girlfriend that is (and having an extra set of hands is always usefull)

[zeeboost]

That's what I'm trying to accomplish. I've asked her before, but she says she always feels like she's in the way. I'm working on it though...

[hoov100]

(keep in mind i neither know you or her on a personal level)

 

you should make her feel more comfortable around the cars, let her do some work on it. start her off small (bleeding brakes/clutch changing fluids....etc)then before you know it she will have a faster car then you

 

got to lube it up before you can stick it in!

[alexdeprat]

Cars and houses can always be bought and sold, they are simple material aquisitions.

 

I would never put a "car" before a healthy relationship and we should also aspire to be in healthy relationships.

 

I am a big car guy, but also a huge romantic and that special person in my life will always be my foundation.

 

My biggest accomplishment?

- Not my Engineering PE Degree

- Not the fancy cars

- Not the big house with a 5 car garage

- Not the corporate job

 

But rather my relationship.

 

Life is three things:

1) A fulcrum, find the balance and the equilibrium

2) A Circle - wholeness and inclusive - family and friends always first at the center.

3) A journey, you are the driver and the next bend in the road has what? Its easier to negotiate that bend with someone you love, that loves you, supporting each other.

 

Good luck to you.

Yasin

 

amen!

[ShaggyZ]

Lance, I'm a little late on this, but since I rarely see you and only just met your woman a week ago, I thought I'd add a little to the heap.

 

Some of these guys are morons (yep!) the way they discount a quality relationship with someone, even if it is ONLY a girlfriend. I had no idea you two had been together for so long.

 

I just married my wife 3 months ago (Dec. 15). She's been incredible about wanting me to keep my motorcycle (I'm still jacked up from my Sept. 12th crash...stupid BMW's pulling in front of me) AND wanting me to keep my Merkur and the 280Z. She knows I really like each of these vehicles; but I think what helps most is genuinely being willing to get rid of those things for her, which I've suggested a couple times. She sees that and probably appreciates it more than she realizes. We just found out we're 11 weeks pregnant and I've again told her I should probably sell the Merkur and the motorcycle but she disagrees. We'll see. Looks like I'll definitely be keeping the Z project going, though.

 

Get yourself to a place like that. Start with getting rid of the 2 Z's you're looking to sell as quickly as possible (you pretty much never get the money back for what you invest in a car - shoulda sold them as they were). And then widdle down which two of the other three you should be keeping - the funky-green 240Z had better be one of them.

 

Be sure you continue to communicate a desire to have a good balance between her and your cars (which may weigh heavily towards her) and try to plan fairly fixed times/days you will work on the cars or spend time with her.

 

 

I need to go weld or something... it's too mushy in here!

 

On a side note, my wife's helping hands have been the only way I can work on the Z right now, pretty much, as my left hand is nearly useless right now. She's never worked on cars before but she's very mechanically inclined somehow and she's found she really enjoys taking stuff apart. Plus, amazingly, she's able to have long nails and not break them working on it. It's the super hotness! She did just trim one hand's nails so she can play bass and guitar again

 

I think we should double-date or some crap sometime!