Phantom Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 MatMan, I've been counselling young men about their current or impending marriage for over 30 years now. Yes, I was around when God created the fossils for fossil fuels. The one thing that I always start out with is that the husband is the head of the family - like the captain of a ship. Because of that everything that happens in the marriage is his fault. No ifs or buts. That's the way it is. Once he recognizes and accepts that - because deep down in side the wives & kids actually feel the same way although few of them will readily admit it - he is on his way to being able to deal with anything in a marriage. That being said - I'll adopt a corollary and say that in nearly every case - no one is blameless in an accident. Everyone bears some of the responsibility. I don't care if someone is in the proper gear, in the proper lane, going the speed limit and have a great scan going on. If Scottie beams a Mac truck down in front of him to crash into it's at least partly his fault. He obviously did something to piss Scotty off. What I've seen is that a person who repeatedly stands on the "It's not my fault" platform is someone who is not capable of fully realizing and taking responsibility for their own actions. That may seem like a hard philosophy but this is a hard world and you have to be tough to survive it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MatMan Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Good points, to be sure. And I am nowhere near old enough to know a fossil while it was living. Please let me say that I understand and accept that being married and a father is a HUGE responsibility not to be taken lightly. I did not mean to imply that laying blame elsewhere by not accepting responsiblity (it's not my fault) was the way I live my life. that was not my intent. That's the main reason I do not ride on the street...I accept that I am a speed freak, and that I will get smeared by someone not expecting/looking/fully under control/caring that I am going to pass. That said, my wife is ok with my choices, if we can afford it, because I am worth 3 times more dead than alive!!! I was trying to offer a solution to BigPhil's woes by offering the suggestion that a change in venue (house location) might do him good if he can afford it. Then he can have his adrenaline thrill without as much potential danger for the general public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_hunt Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Oh, phil, BTW after watching all the vids it is no doubt that your crazy! Just thought you would like another opinion! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gollum Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I won't pretend to know Phil more than others here, but I don't think he'll buy the bike unless he get's at least a semi-blessing from the wife first. I seriously doubt Phil wants a divorce and shared custody of his precious girl. But he still sees something he loves and is passionate about a his heart yearns for it. Right or wrong, that's the reaction he's developed to some toys. Is he wrong for this? Not necessarely. But he might be wrong for buying anything that suits his fancy. I wonder if it would be better for Phil to stop riding all together. Sometimes it's tough for some people to only do things half way, it's just too tempting. Again, that's SOME people, not all obviously. I'm the type of person that jumps in head first obsessed with most things I do. I spread myself VERY thin across my hobbies and people see my passion in all the things I do. I very rarely do something casually. I know what it's like to want something and know it won't happen any time soon, if at all. I really want to own all sorts of things, but I have to understand that other things in life need to come first. Being a good husband should come before anything else. And sometimes being a good husband is about communcating the desires of your heart. If big phil was the next big stunt rider of our day then he needs to figure out how to lead his wife while following such pursuits. He needs to show her how much something means to her if she's ever to follow him in it. Most women, once they truly understand how much something means, and see that he's thought it all through will allow their husbands to do something they want to do. If they don't then the thing in question is seriously questionable (like going to a strip bar), or she has control issues and wants to be the head of the family. I think Phil will get it all figured out though. I sure hope he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m1noel Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 There are a lot of good serious responses here. Not so seriously, Phil, just because you like to dress up like Elvis and ride a mini bike around in parades-why would you even think that you might be crazy? Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big-phil Posted August 28, 2008 Author Share Posted August 28, 2008 wow guys thanks for all the advice. I read every single post here and can hear the heart felt response. I have not yet bought the bike, and not sure if I will or not. So far what saved me was: I went to my bank to get $5500 cash. I'm self employed owning a Pepperidge Farm route, and Motorcycle Escort. My credit score is 810 (not joking) I could not get the cash with out lots of paper work. Last 2 years 1040's to prove I make money (being self employed rocks until you get to this sort of stuff) So I have not been back to the bank with those papers. I no deep in my heart that I SHOULD NOT buy that bike, I no me, I'm a crazy a$$ mother. No two ways about it:roll: When I finally sold my stunt bike, It still ran great. I sold it because I knew I HAD to. I think its more that my wife said basically " if you don't do what I say, you can leave" that really pissed me off. Its just been a year or so that I sold the stunt bike, so I miss the pump I get from it. Chris and I compared it to, my st1300 it like driving a bigger pick up truck, and a sport bike is like driving his 403 whp Z. So having a nice motorcycle now makes me no difference I miss the rush of the sport bike. So all and all I'm trying to not buy the bike, the bank saved me so far. And now I'm trying to not think about it. "SO" Yesterday I bought Arias forged pistons that have been bored to a turbo block, "H" beam rods, A ported p90 head with springs and a big cam, 2mm head gasket. And today I looked at a T66 "P" trim turbo with a .58 T4 hot side. And took my blown tranny appart to get the bell housing machined for a KA 5 speed swap, and the Lonewolfe intake from 280zforce set up for a 90mm throttle body. http://www.cardomain.com/member_pages/show_image.pl?bg=000000&image=http://memimage.cardomain.com/member_images/11/web/827000-827999/827044_155_full.jpg If she don't want me to buy a bike thats probly for the best, she better not say anything about the BEAST of a motor I'm about to put together. I will be selling my motor and the tranny maybe the intake and webber 60mm TB?? more on that later I'm still driving my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeatrpi Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Well now I am embarrassed by the lightheartedness of my earlier post. I misinterpreted your earlier message. I don't "know" you but I feel like I do through your videos. If you have to get a loan to afford the bike, maybe you should rethink the decision based on that alone. Its one thing to get a loan for something you need - education, medical, housing - but for another toy? I wouldn't get into debt and cause a rift with the missus... you must like punishment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikelly Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Smartest post I've read in this thread so far... Mike Well now I am embarrassed by the lightheartedness of my earlier post. I misinterpreted your earlier message. I don't "know" you but I feel like I do through your videos. If you have to get a loan to afford the bike, maybe you should rethink the decision based on that alone. Its one thing to get a loan for something you need - education, medical, housing - but for another toy? I wouldn't get into debt and cause a rift with the missus... you must like punishment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m1noel Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Phil, Two years ago I talked my wife into letting me buy another street bike. A harley this time. I sold me suzuki before I got married because honestly I couldn't control myself on it. One of my dealer accounts had taken in a 05 road king that was really nice and he gave me a great deal on it. But when I went out to get it, check book in hand, I really started to think about my responsibilities and how much time I would really get to spend on the bike. I have 2 boys in college, and now a year old grand son. Except for the Z's, all of our toys are family toys. Things that we use to get away together. So, I used the money to finish my Z. And I don't miss the bike hardly at all. Since then, I have lost two friends on bikes because people in cars didn't see them. I know you are much more talented on a bike than I am, but things happen. When I was 19, my parents were doing pretty well and decided to buy a plane. My step-dad, mom, and I were all learning to fly. That year while I was at school the plane with my mom and an instructor pilot went down in a freak storm. I am living the life with my kids and grand son that my mom would have loved, but things do happen. Just think about your wife and daughter before you make your decisions. Take care, Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavyZ Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 That was very well put, Mike (m1noel). I gave up bikes almost as fast as I started them. I crashed a Triumph Speed Triple doing a 70 mph stoppie, but without stopping, and gave my body a number of lasting injuries. My wife begged me not to get another bike and wanted me to only do cars instead. I wasn't really broken up about it and, with 3 little kids at the time, I considered them more important than my own wants and desires anyway. I'm not sorry I made that decision and I have no regrets. Think hard about what you value, Phil. Davy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cygnusx1 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Phil, I can't wait to see the killer turbo motor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gollum Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 That motor is going to be a beast. I'm kinda surprised to see you doing the KA tranny swap though. I'd assume you'd move to something a bit more tough, like the Z32 tranny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Purple240zt Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Phil, if you get the itch again maybe a dedicated track bike is where its at? Evan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyZ Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Hey Phil, I totally understand getting pissed off about the ultimatum. I am exactly the same way, that kind of attitude from my wife gets me more angry and frustrated about the relationship then I ever would be about whatever petty thing is being discussed. You seem like you have your head screwed on right though, it sounds like you understand the emotional response she has is rooted in not wanting you to get hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikelly Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Angry? frustrated?? Uhm, who wins in a confrontation with your SPOUSE? Nobody... I can count the arguments I'd had with my wife on one hand... We've known each other 9 years... If you have to "win" an argument with your wife, you might want to ask yourself why you're married... Phil, You might be suffering the 7 year itch... Here's something to consider... You have a commitment to W-I-F-E and C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N... "stunt riding" on motorcycles doesn't exactly give "confidence" in their future or stability. It became about them, and not about you when you got married... To add insult to injury, Your bank said "no" to a "loan" for a "toy"... Sorry to spell it out in such blunt terms, but maybe you want to prioretize what's important in your life... Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yessir Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Lol This Is Funny To Me. Opposite Side Of The Argument, Selling My 04 Zx10 To Fund My Z Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Challenger Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Yeah, I would neeevvvveeerrr go into debt to buy another toy if I already had a Z. You have to think about your kids going to college, unknown future expenses, etc. Not trying to be rude but even having one toy is doing well (and a nice one at that), I know ALOT of fathers that have nothing for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big-phil Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 Well now I am embarrassed by the lightheartedness of my earlier post. I misinterpreted your earlier message. I don't "know" you but I feel like I do through your videos. If you have to get a loan to afford the bike, maybe you should rethink the decision based on that alone. Its one thing to get a loan for something you need - education, medical, housing - but for another toy? I wouldn't get into debt and cause a rift with the missus... you must like punishment? True, the wife has the money but wont let me have it, so thats what brought me to the bank. We have separate bank accounts. She has control of the savings, and her checking, and I have my checking. Obviously for the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big-phil Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 That motor is going to be a beast. I'm kinda surprised to see you doing the KA tranny swap though. I'd assume you'd move to something a bit more tough, like the Z32 tranny. to much cash, $300 + for the plate, then I'd have to find a z32 tranny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big-phil Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 Angery? frustrated?? Uhm, who wins in a confrontation with your SPOUSE? Nobody... I can count the arguments I'd had with my wife on one hand... We've known each other 9 years... If you have to "win" an argument with your wife, you might want to ask yourself why you're married... Phil, You might be suffering the 7 year itch... Here's something to consider... You have a commitment to W-I-F-E and C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N... "stunt riding" on motorcycles doesn't exactly give "confidence" in their future or stability. It became about them, and not about you when you got married... To add insult to injury, Your bank said "no" to a "loan" for a "toy"... Sorry to spell it out in such blunt terms, but maybe you want to prioretize what's important in your life... Mike yeah I no. Its just hard to admit that the sport bike thing should be over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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