johnc Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house - mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes, T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, shorts with holes, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following: In your 20's Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register. In your 30's Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. In your 40's Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy. In your 50's Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog shit in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms'. In your 60's Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog shit off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure. In your 70's Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather. In your 80's Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. In your 90's & beyond What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19762802+2 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 I hope I can live that out, that was great my dad is turning 51 in a few days and this is totally how he is he still acts like he is forty though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodZilla Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 That sounds about right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xonix_digital Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 I wish I could say I cared that much (20s). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony D Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 apparently I'm 55 or so... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woldson Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Ya I must be pushing mid sixties... One time I went to Ziggies wearing my climbing boots and shorts. They go up to my knees... When I returned my wife was very embarrassed, strange though, she was not even their?! GIT ER DONE!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjhines Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 I must be 50.. **** I'm gettin old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
proxlamus© Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 haha.. after working at Home Depot for the past 5 years.. I will completely agree with this thread =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete84 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Wow, in my family the dirt and grime of a project was a badge of honor to show off to all the interior decorators at Home Depot. And to show the ladies that we were useful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAG58 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Interesting. Apparently I'm in my mid 50's if you discount the chick at the register thing. 'round these parts, most of the fodder at the register look like they could do with a dental visit and some exercise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeeZ Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 I resemble that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cygnusx1 Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. Â Priceless. "The Fart Whisperer". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ModernS30 Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 I'm 40? Wait... I have a daughter? Boy do I have a lot to learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwi303 Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Hmm, just make a run to home depot? well, for me that would be to Bunnings... But nope, nothing like that for me, trips like that get scheduled a week in advance, since I'm an hour and a half from town and burn $65 or $70 just on filling the tank in the van on a trip to town. it's not like it's a 10 min trip just to grab one widget! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ModernS30 Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Hmm, just make a run to home depot? well, for me that would be to Bunnings... But nope, nothing like that for me, trips like that get scheduled a week in advance, since I'm an hour and a half from town and burn $65 or $70 just on filling the tank in the van on a trip to town. it's not like it's a 10 min trip just to grab one widget! HAHA that sucks. Just make a list as you go through out the week of everything you need! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossman Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 (edited) Here's me. I go to Home Depot and realize that they don't have what I'm looking for. I realize I need to go to a REAL hardware store. I go to that store, find exactly what I need, plus several things I didn't realize I needed until I got there . While standing in line I look around. Everyone is dirty and sweaty, wearing greasy, holey shirts...I feel at home. Why did I go to Home Depot again??? Edited April 21, 2010 by rossman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woldson Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Ever notice that their seems to be a lot of women, together, that frequent Home slutpo? I do like the place, although, I try to go to Zigs more often due to it being more local. Costco.....Accost the hoe Winco....Wanko Mcdonalds....splatdonalds Burger king....Burst your spleen Office....Orifice Rush on this one: school...Screwal Walmart...walfart For some reason I like to make up names, it is even funnier when my children copy me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjhines Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 (edited) Walmart= Mallwart (since they anchor the ugly strip malls). Target= Tarshjay Make it sound French Home Depot= Homie De-pot McDonalds= McDougals (from some comedy from the 80s) Harris Teeter(Grocery Store)= Harry Peter(away from kids) and Tajma-Teeter (because they were some of the nicest stores back in the 90s) Chick-Fil-A= Chicken flogger (Those cows bust out some baseball bats off camera) Taco Bell= Taco Smell (my 6yo loves that one) Best Buy= Breast Spy(I know, I know) Harbor Freight= Harbor Fright Toys-R-Us= Toyasaurus Bruger's Bagels= Booger Bagels Burger King= Booger Cream Koolaid= Bug Juice ...Kids love that one too When my 6yo asks, "where did you get that?"(snack or whatever) I respond "The Gettin spot". If she asks for some food other than what we are serving. I respond "I can make you some Roach soup and sawdust crackers." I actually had to follow through once... I pulled the cover off the light over the sink and swept some sawdust off the gargage floor. That was as far as I had to go. Fried Worms are also on the menu because I have a copy of a tweenage book "How to Eat Fried Worms" to back it up. Convicing enough for a 6yo anyway. I have to watch my names for popular personalities around kids. That is a big list. Edited April 21, 2010 by bjhines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bschiltz Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Hmmm... I guess I'm about 50 or 60 (21 actually) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanzerAce Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 50 or 60 something here.....even though I'm 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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