X64v Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Most of us are nerds at heart (or just nerds). Show your nerdy side by telling us your favorite Math/Science/Engineering jokes. I'll start, of course. An architect, a civil engineer, and a mathematician go to a farm. The farmer asks the three their ideas regarding how best to keep his cattle inside a fenced area. The architect thinks for a second, then draws up a circular pen, to get the most amount of area per length of fence, and give the farm a more 'industrial modern' look. The civil engineer looks around, draws up the land (a stream running directly adjacent to the barn), then draws a two-sided fence, with the barn and stream making the other two sides, so that the cattle could drink but would not leave the area. The mathematician quickly draws a very small round fence and in the center writes 'outside'. ------ Officer: Son, do you know how fast you were going? Engineer: Sure do, .2 kilowatts per pound. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rturbo 930 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Is the glass half full or half empty? Optimist: Half full Pessimist: Half empty Engineer: Glass is twice as big as it needs to be Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZZZeee Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Is the glass half full or half empty? Optimist: Half full Pessimist: Half empty Engineer: Glass is twice as big as it needs to be Not necessarily. Must we calculate for expansion due to freezing? What is the acceptable margin of error? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Challenger Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 ---------------- Two cats are on a slanted roof, which cat falls off last? The one with the greatest mue! ---------------- sin(x)=6n si(x)=6 (ns divide to 1) six=6 ---------------- There are 10 type of people, those who understand binary and those who dont. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwi303 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 actually it's more accurate as "There are 11 types of people, those that understand binary, those that don't understand binary, and those that have never heard of binary" You need to ensure one has captured the entirety of the sampling space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughdogz Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Three Engineers get into a car and it doesn't start. The Electrical Engineer says it must be the starter. The Chemical Engineer says it must be bad gas. The Computer Science Engineer says: "Lets all get out and get back in and see if it starts again" ======== A fly made me get an answer wrong on a test. There was an extra dot because it left it's derivative. ======== Simpson's rule is also known as The Homer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josh817 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Observe: http://dumpalink.com/videos/An_engineers_guide_to_cats-jl67.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cygnusx1 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 A mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, and an environmental engineer discuss the human body design. What type of engineer designed the human? ME says it has to be an ME, just look at all the bone structure and statics and dynamics involved. CE says whoaa, it must have been a chemical engineer because of all the chemistries involved in the blood and various other fluids and reactions. The Environmental Engineer says, well, it definitely wasn't one of us. Who would put a dump site so close to a recreational area!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woldson Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Is the glass half full or half empty? Optimist: Half full Pessimist: Half empty Engineer: Glass is twice as big as it needs to be Pragmatist (me) Did you fill it halfway, or, just empty half of it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trevor Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S130Z Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 It's a Nise rock, so don't take it for Granite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlatBlack Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 It's a Nise rock, so don't take it for Granite. For sure, Geology Rocks!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GabeRoc Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 ---------------- Two cats are on a slanted roof, which cat falls off first? The one with the greatest mue! Wouldn't that be the one with the lesser mu because mu is the coeffecient of friction? And to add my favorites ----------------------------- An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were on a train heading north, and had just crossed the border into Scotland. The engineer looked out of the window and said "Look! Scottish sheep are black!" The physicist said, "No, no. Some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician looked irritated. "There is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, of which at least one side is black." ------------------------------ Q: How do you tell and extroverted engineer? A: They look at your shoes when they talk to you. ------------------- -Gabe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Challenger Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 :weird:Ahh, yeah messed that up... I wrote it a first time correctly and then it didnt post. Kept mixing up first and last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughdogz Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Wouldn't that be the one with the lesser mu because mu is the coeffecient of friction? Good catch Gabe! To get even more nerdy, I think if one had no mu it would slide off, and with some mu, it would roll off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMortensen Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Here's a super lame groaner that my wife (who is a registered dietitian) told me: What do you call a parrot under an umbrella? Polly unsaturated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jc052685 Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 here's a super lame groaner that my wife (who is a registered dietitian) told me: What do you call a parrot under an umbrella? Polly unsaturated. ^^^^^^^^^^hahahahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eec564 Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Three statisticians are out hunting with bows and arrows. They see a deer. The first one takes a shot and misses, six feet left of the deer. The second one takes a shot and misses, this time six feet to the right of the deer. The third one starts jumping up and down yelling "We got it! We got it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nismo280zEd Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Ok... A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked to find the volume of a little red ball. The mathematician does some measurements finding the surface area and using some calculus to come up with the volume. The physicist thinking he has a simpler method fills a graduated cylinder with water and measures the water displacement and comes up with the volume. The engineer looks at the little red ball and starts going through his books until he comes across his Red Ball Table and looks up the volume. well I thought it was quite funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GabeRoc Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Good catch Gabe! To get even more nerdy, I think if one had no mu it would slide off, and with some mu, it would roll off. I dare say it would only roll if the center of gravity fell outside the outer support. else it would slide just the one with zero friction (btw, if you find zero friction let me know, we can make some money! ) Also, I find both the statisticians and table engineer jokes to be almost too true to be funny. almost Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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