dr_hunt Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Ever since my boy was little he always wanted to live with me. But for reasons unknown to me he stayed with his mother and I saw him every other weekend. I missed alot of his life and he missed alot with me, but that's life. We went to see the movie Grand Torino with Clint Eastwood. Man what a great movie! It hit home though with a little boy about 14 and Clint telling him to grow some balls and be a man. Went to take my boy home tonight and guess what?!! He grew some balls and he doesn't want to go back. Cops have been here almost all night talking with him and his mother ranting and raving in the background too trying to get me arrested for custodial interference. First she called the state police, they didn't do what she wanted so she called the city police, they came over and same story, so she called the sherrifs office and they didn't even respond. The state police came back afterwards and have been here 'till midnight. Never ending phone calls and text messages, just a barrage of his family and friends back home trying to talk him out of staying with me using various ploys and sympathy moves. Long story short, he is still here and tomorrow we go meet the lawyer working on things and then on Wednesday we meet with our DA. This is rough, really rough and there is more than I can say here until this all unfolds. I need some support guys, both me and my boy Bryce, but mostly him. I had no idea the crap going on and what could make a boy hate someone so much, especially his mother. Thanks in advance! Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdsk8ter Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I hope the best for both of you From what I have seen your a great guy and He is in good hands but he may also be in a transition phase and may want to go back. dont try to be to much of a friend and make sure you stand your ground with the whole thing. If its ment to be it will be. Keep us posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_hunt Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 He ain't going back IMO, he's been through some bad juju. IMO he can never go back not even to visit. Seriously it's that bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanzerAce Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Damn man, sucks to hear about that. Hopefully everything gets sorted out and he gets to stay with you (since that's what HE wants). How old is he? Mid teens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwi303 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 It may well go to court, but if he's old enough to know his own mind and hold his own and he can impress the judge, you could well end up with custody yourself. I'm no expert on USA law, but here it would hinge on the judges view of whether he is mature enough to decide, and they will generally follow the decision of the child if they do believe they are mature enough. Those cops will be taking notes on their views of the parents (you and the mother) other hangers on involved (boyfriends/girlfriends/step parents) and how they all act and react. A hysterical ranting and raving mother and a stubborn determined kid that seems more sensible than the mother (pretty much what you described) should have a good chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeatrpi Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Good luck, Doc. Some people grow up faster than others, and some don't have a choice in the matter. I hope it all works out for you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris556452 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I'm sorry to hear about all that. I'm not sure about the laws in New Mexico, but in Texas a child is able to decide where they want to live at the age of 13. When my parents split up, my little brother just told the judge he wanted to live with my dad and that was that... I really hope everything works out for you. -Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cygnusx1 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Whatever happens or is decided....make it clear that it's ALWAYS in Bryce's best interest. Let him know that although things might get shaky for a while, ultimately, whatever HE want's and whatever is best for HIM, will eventually be HIS. Hang tough Bryce! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Filmjay Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Well, I think it's great that he wants to be with his father. When my wife and I split a few years ago, she took our son to Oregon. So, I don't even get the luxury of seeing him on the weekends since I'm in Tennessee. And I can only afford to visit him maybe twice a year. Even then, it's usually a birthday or Christmas present from my gf now. Frankly, I can't wait until I'm in your shoes. I know it's tough on you right now, but YOU didn't do anything wrong. But, I'd rather fight to have him. Especially knowing that he'd rather be with me than his mom. Keep your head up! You know your son loves you, no matter what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cygnusx1 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Oh one more thing...make sure he understands clearly that none of the chaos is his fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janaka Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I think I was 'lucky' that I was 18 when my parents separated and I was moving away for university. The fact that you have a relationship with him is awesome after the split. Unfortunately for me my father withdrew himself from my life (and sisters)due to the divorce. We didn't talk for 5 yrs give or take and it took my health going into the crapper (kidney removed) for him to try at a relationship with me. Fight for what he wants. That will mean the world to him, I know it would have for me. I wish you the best of luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woldson Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Oh one more thing...make sure he understands clearly that none of the chaos is his fault. Excellent advice. I'll add you need to take the fault upon your shoulders. You see, this is real, he did not pick you guys as parents so it is not his fault it is yours and he needs to hear that so he will be less likely to repeat history. Now, I know that is tough to swallow and even if your wife is a raging lunatic you picked her and you two gave birth to an innocent life. Believe it or not if you squarely accept responsibility, (don't worry about ragging the mom, he gets that, and it will only hurt him and make you feel better) you may find a weight lifted from cross as well. This in turn will help you focus on what it will take to "fix" problems with him, since they originate with you and your decisions of yesteryear. Kinda goes like this: We f..kup,,,, I f..kup I'm so sorry, however, I'm here now to correct my terrible decisions because I love you and you are my son. Let him feel your remorse, let him give back to you what is yours, not his. Don't let him hate woman, this will only lead him down the road you and your wife took, imagine that, should make you stomach turn thinking of your grandchild in the same position as you son, as you, as maybe your parents, ect. Be a MAN and OWN IT! This will help him to be a better man then you. I want my son to be a better man than I. He can learn from my mistakes only if I admit to failures as they occur, and then try again until I succeed. I hope you understand me, it is a "dig", but only for the purpose of a brighter future of a Loving Father and his son! The past has to be reckoned with to walk confidently into the future. Marriage can be tough, it makes it easier to pick a great woman if he knows what to look for. Casting dispersions on marriage or woman will only land him in crap ville, for he will not have the tools to find quality women, not spoiled girls. (there are alot of those running around now, too bad) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxfiend1967 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 My sons lived in Myrtle beach for years. ONE MOVED 2 YEARS AGO AND THE OTHER SAID HE IS COMING AT THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR. keep your head up . Gods will will be done!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnc Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I know it sounds funny, but this is a great thing! Yeah, its going to be tough for the next few months as the lawyers do their thing, but after that you've got your son back! Keep your eyes on the prize and congratulations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZZZeee Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Bottom line is children can choose who they decide to live with unless there are mitigating circumstances such as neglect or abuse. It sounds like the law is on your side on both counts. Hang in there, David. I would wish you luck but you're not going to need it. I'll say in advance congrats and happy fathering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMortensen Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I would suggest deleting this post. If it does go to court and she finds this, it could be used against you in a "he's obviously poisoning the boy against me" sort of way. Maybe I'm a bit hypersensitive about posting things online, but that's my take. Having seen my cousin fight a psychotic bitch for several years for custody of his son, I wish you the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikelly Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 For once, JonM and I agree whole heartedly... And having been on the other side of the fence, with a dad manipulating his son into coming to live with him, and tearing my wife's heart out, it's kinda hard for me to be a cheerleader for you on this, David... But then again we don't know (and don't need to know - Take JonM's advice and deepsix this thread) all the circustances that make living with his mother so "wrong"... Mike Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JIM73240Z Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Here in AZ, the child DOES NOT DECIDE, who they want to live with. My step son's jack ass dad decided that after he got married and graduated college (16 years later and never missed a semester (with a ba)) wanted us to give up James so that he can live with him. Then we could pay him the child support. He still owed my wife 16k from back child support. The judges will take into consideration the childs wishes but it is in the childs best interest that they go with. That is usually both parents are involved. This sounds a lot different like the well being is at stake. Hang tough. It will get really ugly really quick. Nothing worse than a woman scorned, and haveing there child ripped away gets an already irational woman even more so. Document everything and record all phone conversations. It may not be admisable, but it cant hurt. jimbo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auxilary Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I agree with jon mortensen. Internet can be a great resource, and a horrible, horrible double edged blade. This thread should be deleted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_hunt Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Here it is 14 when they decide for themselves. We had filed that paperwork already and it was pending. Meanwhile the beatings continued as he was to speak with the judge and she wanted him to say he wanted to stay with her. Well, too much is too much and it finally hit home with Clint Eastwoods words "You need to grow some balls and quit being a pussie!" He finally snapped on the way taking him back home. Fortunately his mother didn't show up so we just came back home. First it was the cops and now she has put up all kinds of stumbling blocks so I can't get him in school, which I can be arrested for and then he would be shipped back. She works for the schools so she knows them all personally. I'll get it done but it's a pain. I bought all his clothes down there and she won't let him have them. Holding his books and bball uniform so I can't disenroll him from school down there and get his records to get him in school here. Working on it hard, been to the lawyers several times already and he's leaving for 10 days tomorrow!!! I have to get this done today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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